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Not many people enjoy dating . The idea of meeting new people over and over again, not knowing if they look like the pictures, is an unnerving prospect. The thought of making yourself vulnerable with someone you barely know is terrifying. And that’s the biggest reason people experience stress on dates .
Dating can be fun, but it’s not when the stress feels like torture. A first date can be a nerve-wracking experience because of it . While you’re trying to act normal, your body is doing all sorts of things that distract you from what you really came for: the person sitting across from you.
Do you constantly touch your face? Do you squirm your hands? Do you obsessively play with your hair? You’re not the only one who does these things when the nerves are running high. But it turns out that these telltale signs of stress aren’t so bad after all. According to a new study, people who display more nonverbal stress behaviors are actually more likable. It can even subtly encourage others to interact with you in a more positive way.
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Does stress have benefits?
Scientists from the University of Portsmouth and Nottingham Trent University wanted to know why people show signs of stress, such as nail biting, fidgeting and touching their face or hair, when doing so could indicate that they are in a weakened state. From an evolutionary perspective, this is not smart, because showing weakness is not exactly conducive to survival in the wild.
To investigate this paradox, 133 participants were asked to watch videos of 31 people giving presentations without proper preparation. The participants were then asked to rate how stressed they thought the person in the video was.
“We wanted to know what benefits there are to showing stress to others, to explain why people’s stress behaviour has evolved,” said Dr Jamie Whitehouse, a researcher at NTU’s School of Social Sciences. The research is published in the journal Evolution and Human Behaviour.
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People can tell when you’re stressed
The study shows that people are good at perceiving when someone is experiencing stress. Those who admitted to feeling more stressed during the presentation were rated as more stressed by the judges. Furthermore, those who noticed the nervous behavior responded more positively to the people experiencing stress. They became more pleasant than those who experienced less or no stress.
The researchers believe that signs of stress can elicit an empathetic response from others. And as a result, those who are showing stress become more likable. So the next time you find yourself nervously fiddling with your hair, rest assured, it will only make you more likable.
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