Why Men and Women Lose Interest

It’s one of the greatest mysteries of the dating app world. One moment, you and your match are engaged in a fierce teasing competition that’s both exciting and challenging. You’re flirting, teasing, laughing, and mixing it up with deep, intelligent conversation. And then, out of nowhere, things start to go downhill. The messages get shorter, the emojis disappear, and before you know it, there’s complete radio silence. Again.

How come conversations on dating apps often die out? Why do men and women lose interest in the conversation on a dating app? And not just on the app, but also after a date and after sex?

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Why do people lose interest?

In an ideal situation, everyone would be interested in the person they are talking to. They would ask questions , show enthusiasm, and pay attention. But anyone who has had dating experience knows that it doesn’t always work that way. Some men and women don’t ask any questions, some aren’t enthusiastic, and others ignore everything you say. And then there are people who initially show interest , but then lose interest. How is this possible?

The reality is that most people, male or female, usually do not do this on purpose. Losing interest in someone else is something that happens whether they want it or not. The behavior that someone is interested in at first and then loses is often not conscious. And there are multiple reasons for this. We will walk you through the scenarios.

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Losing interest in the conversation

Dating app conversations that fizzle out are not uncommon. It’s the norm. One of the two (or both) loses interest in the conversation and before you know it, both are already immersed in a new conversation with yet another match. Why do they lose interest?

1. There is another

One of the reasons someone might lose interest in you has nothing to do with you at all. It’s probably the reason you think of first and the reason you’re most afraid of. But it’s also the reason that’s most obvious on a dating app: there’s someone else in the picture. And that someone else is more fun, attractive, or interesting than you.

The main reason is that there are only so many matches a person can communicate with at once. The human brain is not designed to have ten conversations going on at once, especially when each conversation requires some form of mental effort. And if you don’t make plans to meet up or find interesting topics to talk about, it’s easy to lose interest when a new batch of matches arrives.

2. There has been a discovery

Everything seemed to be going well until you sent additional photos or a link to your social media profile. Since then, it seems like the other person has changed their mind? If you experience this, you can assume that your match has discovered something and that this is the reason why they have lost interest. Your name came up in a Google search as the suspect in a human trafficking case. Or the comments you posted on NOS messages were not well received. In short, what your match saw was a turn-off.

3. There wasn’t much interest already

You were a borderline case. Nothing more, nothing less. You were given one chance to prove yourself as the catch you think you are, but you failed. At least in the eyes of your match. Since your match wasn’t that interested in you as a person, even the smallest things can make him or her lose interest.

4. It’s too hard

Some men aren’t looking for a long-term commitment. They’re looking for something else, someone who can be easily obtained. They want an easy score. If he sees that a woman is too much trouble , he’ll back off. He’ll lose interest and move on to another target – to see if this person is easy. Some men are motivated by the chase, while others want it as easy as possible. And if it turns out that it’s not going to be easy, he’ll lose interest.

5. Something happened

Fingers can break. Pets can die. An ex (or your match) turns out to be pregnant. Things happen at the strangest times and there is always a small chance that something will happen suddenly. As a result of this event, you no longer get the priority you used to. Important tests, deadlines at work, and family circumstances all fall into this category.

Catastrophic events can cause you to seek comfort and support from each other, which makes the bond even stronger. But if you only talk to each other through a dating app, then the chances are greater that contact will fade.

People focus on what they prioritize and in doing so, they take away attention from the things they prioritize less. Like the conversation with you. No matter how special you are, you will not be at the top of everyone’s priority list at all times. And that is easily the case if you have not yet met in person.

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Losing interest after a date

First dates are complicated. You expect something and you don’t know if those expectations will be met. And if they aren’t, you can lose interest.

6. Considerations

Now that the hustle and bustle of the first date is behind us, it is time to take stock. It is at this point that doubts and reservations can arise. Your match notices that you are more spiritually inclined than expected and therefore gradually withdraws from contact. Or your match likes you, and you are also attractive enough as relationship material, but the fact that you do not want children is still food for thought . All these reservations can cause your match to gradually lose interest in you.

7. Changing your mind

Sometimes, when people are close to achieving something, something changes in their thinking. The reality turns out to be a little scarier than they thought, which can change their minds. It’s possible that he (or she) would have done anything to get married and start a family. But now that everything is getting closer, he realizes that he’s not ready.

He may have thought he wanted a steady relationship . He thought he was looking for that stability. But as he gets closer to that goal, he may realize that he actually wants something completely different.

8. There is no reason

Sometimes we feel something, but we can’t express it in words. The reason why someone loses interest in you doesn’t have to be completely clear. Not to you. Not to the other person. It can be a list of dozens of reasons or a pile of meaningless things that together form a dealbreaker . Everything can seem perfect on paper, while the feeling says something different.

The funny thing about love is that it can be confusing. It’s unpredictable. You can feel something for someone who withdraws from contact, but you can also become less interested in someone who is courting you. Sometimes something just doesn’t feel good enough.

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Losing interest after sex

If there’s one time when men traditionally lose interest, it’s after sex. They do everything they can to make the woman feel special. They say whatever they can to get her into bed . Then, once they finally get to bed, their interest evaporates like snow in the sun. It’s something men do time and time again on dating apps. Women try to protect themselves by claiming “NO US / FWB ,” but does that help? Probably not.

When men ‘hunt’ a woman, they do so primarily based on their feelings of lust. He is in the mood and will do anything to have his needs met. It is a challenge for him. ‘ Challenge accepted ‘, the man thinks, while he feels a natural urge to win the woman over. He has a goal, sex, and that goal is sacred. Unfortunately for the woman, she is not the goal, but a means to the end.

Challenge accepted

Once they spend the night together and wake up the next morning, he suddenly realizes that he doesn’t like her at all. She may be perfect, but only perfect for one night. She was worth the hunt, but she’s not worthy enough to have a relationship with. He may even realize that he doesn’t like her at all. The hunt is over: the prize is in.

For women, this behavior is sometimes difficult to understand. They don’t understand how men can do this. Don’t men see that there is a person with feelings hiding in the body they want to lie on so much? The reason women don’t get it is also the reason why women never fish – and men do.

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Women are like fish

If we take fishing as an example, we see the same pattern. Men enjoy the long build-up and patience required to catch the fish. He even buys some tasty food for the fish he wants to catch, not thinking about the pain he will cause as he tortures the fish as it gasps for air. The longer he waits and the more time he spends hunting, the more he will enjoy the catch.

For this man, it’s about the process and the hunt, not the prey or the end result. With the fish on the hook, his goal is achieved, you might think? It isn’t. The fish itself is not the goal. Because what happens to the fish once it’s caught? He pulls the hook out of the lip and throws his tortured victim back into the water. Just like some men do with women.

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