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You are single, but already dating. That went pretty well, or so you felt, because you met a nice man who you are completely into. Without wanting to exaggerate too much, we can say that he has everything you are looking for in a new partner. He is a nice guy, he looks just as nice, and you can talk to him endlessly. So far so good. However, there is one problem: he does not want you as a partner.
Ouch. That hurts and not just a little bit. You don’t get it either. Everything seemed to be going so great and you want to know where the problem lies. You want to know why he doesn’t want you after all, while you got a lot of positive signals from him during your many moments together.
As complicated as love is, so is this topic. Reason to tell you all about it, including 5 possible reasons why he doesn’t want you.
It’s all or nothing
There is usually no middle ground with men. With all or nothing we are also talking about whether or not he is completely interested in you, and if that is not the case, then it is of little use to you in the long run. After all, a semi-interested man is not enough to charm you in the long run.
If a man really likes you, he is immediately all-in ; men are very clear about that. Does he really like you? Then there is no room for interpretation or doubt. Is he not 100% convinced? Then there are mainly a lot of unclear excuses.
He says he’s stressed from work, that it’s not you, or whatever. But there’s one thing you can take away from this: he’s not completely interested and that’s just not enough. Anything less than 100% interested is just not good enough.
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So why the mixed signals?
So if a man doesn’t want you, why doesn’t he just let you go? Why does he keep coming back to you? Remember: he may not want a relationship with you, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have feelings for you. Men are much easier in this than women who are more willing and quicker to take the extra step.
He might be attracted to you , he might enjoy your company, he might think you’re a really cool girl, well, it doesn’t really matter, but it apparently can’t go too far for him. In other words, he’s putting the brakes on.
If he wanted a relationship with you, there would be no brakes and that is where the difference lies. Is it a waste of time for you? Maybe yes. Because, you want more than just good company. And if it keeps getting stuck there, you better make a decision.
It is not automatically the case that he has bad intentions and is stringing you along. The lack of that one extra step can also be caused by circumstances and choices. Some of these you have influence on, others you do not.
What you can’t get is what you want
Sometimes adults can be quite childish and that also applies to our search for a partner. For example, we often want something that we cannot have, something that is out of our reach. With all the beauty ideals, we also become somewhat spoiled and picky when looking for that dream man or dream woman.
Your intended partner keeps pushing you away, for whatever reason, and that actually strengthens your feelings for him. Because all those rejections make you yearn for him even more, because you know that at some point he was interested in you. And that eats away at you.
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5 Reasons Why He Doesn’t Want You
That is for us reason to quickly move on to 5 specific reasons why he does not want you, at least not for a relationship. That way you can at least explain to yourself why he does not want you and you do not drive yourself crazy with all kinds of reproaches to yourself or to him.
1. He doesn’t want anyone
It could be that he just doesn’t want anyone for a relationship right now, or maybe for a long time. That’s often the case with people who aren’t completely stable. Some people just don’t need a relationship because they don’t have everything in order. Their emotional state doesn’t allow them to have a relationship as well.
They get stressed from work, have bad experiences from previous relationships, whatever the reason, it is not your job to be his relationship therapist and solve his problems. This is a mistake that many women make, because they are naturally caring and loving. Many women think that with enough love and affection they can make sure that the man will still be convinced to enter into a relationship. But… it often doesn’t work that way.
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2. You are not a match
We know that you can take this very personally, because you feel that you are doing something wrong. However, you should realize that there is not always a match between two people. In the end, you are too different from each other, as it turns out. You have different personalities, different interests, so to speak, and while you do not find that a problem, it is apparently the case on his side. He does not feel the same click as you do.
If there is no match… well, there is no match. You can’t force him to stay with you or change his mind. The only thing you can control is yourself. So just accept it for what it is and try to get over it.
3. There are certain things he doesn’t like about you
Maybe you’re really insecure, maybe you’re anxious when dating , maybe you’re negative and complain a lot. Or maybe you just have a strong, outgoing personality and he likes women who aren’t so much in the spotlight. It doesn’t mean you have traits that are inherently negative, it just means you don’t have the character traits that he likes.
The only thing you can do is try to work on yourself if there are really points that are often labeled as negative. Isn’t it the first time a man says this to you? Try to think about it.
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4. Different goals and values
Things that are meaningless to you can be very important to him. We all have things in life that are important to us, and some of these have to do with goals and values. We can talk about professional goals, but also religious values in life: everyone has their own goals or values and apparently they differ too much in your relationship.
What can you do? Adjust your goals and values if necessary, but you should never do anything you don’t fully support. You do n’t have to change yourself . If you’re really compatible, you’ll find a way out.
5. The timing is not right
Timing is everything. To spend the rest of your lives together, the timing of the first meeting has to be right. Right place, right time: you know the cliché. Maybe you’re a good fit, but he’s just in a phase of life where a relationship isn’t a priority.
He just got a new job, he’s enjoying the single life, or he expects to move soon for his studies or work; the reasons are endless, but they all have one thing in common: the timing is not right.
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Get on with your life
Our advice? Move on, live, date other men, work on yourself, enjoy. Above all, if a man tells you he doesn’t want a relationship, believe him and don’t push him. This is where many women go wrong. They keep acting like “his girlfriend” even though he’s made it clear multiple times that this isn’t what he wants.
You are both 100% single and can’t blame each other. If he remains indifferent towards you, he does n’t like you enough and you will have to accept that.
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