Share This Article
You just got a new boyfriend or girlfriend and you’re over the moon. After many failed attempts, you now feel like this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. But then the inevitable moment comes when you introduce your family to your new lover. And then, to your surprise, they tell you that they don’t like your new love. In fact, they don’t like your new lover at all. What do you do?
How it started
You met your new boyfriend/girlfriend at a mutual friend’s party. You had an instant connection and actually had a good feeling right away. You clicked right away . The chemistry was off the charts, as was everyone else at the party. After a few dates, you even started to believe that this could be the one for you. However, when you introduced your new love to your family , they weren’t so enthusiastic. They said that they didn’t like your new love and that they didn’t think this person was right for you.
Your first reaction was probably what anyone would experience. You were disappointed and a little angry at your family. You wondered why they didn’t like your new love and if they really had the chance to get to know him or her. At the same time, you knew that they could be worried about you. They want the best for you and try to protect you from making the wrong choices. But what do you do with that? What do you do when your family doesn’t like your boyfriend or girlfriend?
ALSO READ: 114 Best Date Ideas for First, Second and More Dates
10 tips on what to do
Everyone wants a new lover to be welcomed with open arms by the entire family. Literally and figuratively. But sometimes that doesn’t happen and the family is initially a bit reserved towards a new partner. Use these tips if you don’t know what to do in this situation.
1. Listen to their concerns
First of all, it is important to stay calm and listen to their concerns. It could be that they are worried about your friend’s personality, or that they think this person is not right for you. It could also be that they have a certain impression that is not entirely correct.
Even though you may think there’s nothing wrong with your new love, they may have a valid point that you haven’t considered. So ask them for specific examples of what’s troubling them. Try to understand their perspective.
ALSO READ: Couples Have More in Common Than We Think’
2. Respect their opinion
You don’t have to agree with your family. You don’t have to. But it is important to understand that your family has your best interests at heart. Their opinion is based on their own perception. Respect their opinion and be polite, no matter how hard it may be.
3. Let them get to know each other better
Introduce your friend to your family again, but this time with more patience. If your partner did not feel comfortable during the first meeting with your family, this may be the reason why your family formed this opinion. Give them time to get to know each other better. Let your new love talk about their interests, hobbies, and lifestyle. This will give your family more information to form an opinion and they can feel more comfortable in each other’s presence.
ALSO READ: Is He The One? Not If He Does These 25 Things
4. Talk to your friend
Talk to your new love about your family’s concerns. Maybe there is something they can take into account to make a better impression on your family. Or maybe your new partner has some concerns of their own and can understand why your family is so concerned.
5. Stay open and honest
It is important to be open and honest with your family. Tell them that you understand. They are worried and you value their opinions. By taking their concerns seriously, you show that you value their opinions. But also make it clear that you make your own decisions and that you want them to support you.
You can express your own opinion and tell why you love your partner.
Tell your family what you like about your new partner, how this person makes you feel and why you want to be with him or her.
6. Show your partner how important family is to you
If you care deeply about your family relationship, make it clear to your partner.
This can help them understand why it is important to you to improve their relationship with your family.
ALSO READ: One-Sided Relationship? 22 Signs It’s Coming from One Side
7. Respect each other’s boundaries
If your family is not willing to accept your partner for whatever reason, respect their feelings. The same goes for your partner. You can’t force anyone to like someone else. If your partner is not comfortable with your family, respect their feelings.
8. Give it time
Bonding takes time. So it can also take time to convince your family. Give them time to get used to your partner and build a bond. A little friction in the beginning doesn’t have to mean it never gets better. Friction creates shine, as they say.
ALSO READ: 35 Playful Dates to Keep Your Relationship Alive
9. Stay true to your feelings
You are yourself, including your own feelings. If your partner is really important to you, it is important to hold on to them. In the end, it is your life and your choices.
10. Provide an interim solution
If your new partner and your family can’t stand each other, try to find a compromise. This might mean not bringing them all together at the same time or inviting them separately to family gatherings. It’s not the most fun solution, but sometimes it’s the only solution.
It can be hard when your family doesn’t like your partner and it’s even harder when both of you can’t stand each other. Sometimes there’s nothing you can do and it just has to be that way. It can take time to convince your family and it may never be completely successful. But if you’re determined to stay together, they’ll eventually see how happy you are and change their minds.
Of course it is nice if your family also gets along with your partner, but it is not the most important thing. The most important thing is that you do what feels right for you and that you are happy in your relationship.
P.S. Are you already following Gistinger.com on Facebook , Instagram and Twitter?