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Relationships are like a roller coaster of emotions. Sometimes you feel invincible, while at other times you are trapped in a maze of misunderstanding and conflict. It’s a harsh truth that maintaining a relationship can be challenging. This is proven by the annual number of divorces, as it is estimated that one in two marriages ends in Western societies. This begs the question: what makes a relationship so difficult? What are the challenges and obstacles?
You’ve probably heard that “love conquers all,” but let’s face it: sometimes love alone isn’t enough. From empathy and communication to respect and intimacy, there is more to a relationship than just love. And that means that the road to a long-term and happy relationship is littered with obstacles that you have to overcome. Which ones are they? Scientists from a Cypriot university have conducted research into this.
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What makes a relationship difficult?
Recent studies have shown that about one in three adults have difficulty maintaining a relationship. Maintaining a relationship is therefore a challenge for many. But what makes it so difficult to maintain a relationship? A recent study from the University of Nicosia provides the answer.
In the survey, conducted among a group of 1,099 Greek-speaking participants, no fewer than 78 different challenges and obstacles were discovered. These were then classified into 12 broader categories. The most important factor that emerged was the ‘disappearance of enthusiasm’, followed by ‘long working hours’ and ‘lack of personal time and space’. These are the twelve challenges and obstacles why people find it difficult to maintain a relationship:
- Reduced enthusiasm
- Long working hours
- Lack of personal time and space
- Character issues
- Clinging
- Bad sex
- Adultery and abuse
- Children
- Lack of commitment
- Problems with social circles
- Not monogamous
- Behavioral problems
As many as 70% of participants reported that at least one factor caused them difficulty, while 41% reported that three or more factors caused them difficulty. But why do people actually experience these difficulties in maintaining an intimate relationship?
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Why are they so difficult?
According to the research, the cause lies in the evolutionary history of humans. In the past, it was essential to find a partner and establish an intimate relationship to ensure the reproduction of genes. But in the modern age, when many people work long hours at work and have little personal time and space, maintaining such a relationship has become a lot more difficult.
There lies the gap between our modern society and our original human conditions. In earlier times, intense romantic feelings and enthusiasm were seen as a motivation to enter into a relationship and these feelings were expected to continue as the relationship progressed. However, today’s society often lacks the support, protection and security that our ancestors enjoyed. The lack of these traditional factors can cause romantic feelings and enthusiasm to fade, making maintaining a relationship more difficult.
Moreover, the changed structure of our society plays a role. In earlier times, people often lived in extended families and together, where they could count on help in raising children. Nowadays people often live on their own, far from their families, and have to bear the responsibility for raising their children themselves. This change may leave people underprepared to combine the responsibilities of parenthood with maintaining a relationship , the researchers believe.
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Man vs woman
Conflicts between the sexes also play a role. Men and women often have different interests when it comes to reproduction and this can conflict in a relationship. For example, men often have a need for sexual variety , while women have a need for security and stability. These different desires can lead to tensions and difficulties in a relationship.
In addition to sexual conflicts, personal characteristics and behavioral patterns can also cause problems. Some people have difficulty showing commitment to the relationship, while others struggle with jealousy or aggression. These types of problems can make maintaining a relationship difficult.
But there is also good news. In addition to identifying the difficulties, this research also showed that change is possible. By being aware of the factors that cause problems and working on them, you can increase your chances of staying in a relationship.
So if you’re struggling with staying in a relationship, know that you are not alone. It is a challenge that many people face. But with insight, awareness and commitment, it is possible to overcome these difficulties and maintain a happy relationship.
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