Share This Article
Online dating has never been easy. Dating apps may have made finding potential partners easier, but choosing has only become harder. Because how do you make a good choice when the options are almost endless? How do you distinguish between right and wrong, between suitable and unsuitable, when you know that singles are only too happy to twist the truth to seem more attractive?
In that regard, the digital dating world has always been a mental minefield. The uncertainty dominates all stages of the dating process, because you never really know who you’re dealing with. We could even say that it’s a test of your mental abilities, especially now that we’re in a time where it seems like the rules of dating – both spoken and unspoken – are constantly changing. And one of the most frustrating aspects is that you can find yourself in a situation where you don’t know where you stand.
Do you feel like you’re not in the driver’s seat of your own dating life? That you’re in someone else’s imaginary car, not knowing if you’ll ever reach your destination? That’s exactly what hardballing puts a stop to.
ALSO READ: 114 Best Date Ideas for First, Second and More Dates
What is hardballing?
Hardballing is a new dating trend to be clear about what you are looking for. From the moment you join a dating app, you are honest about your intentions. No doubts about whether you and the other person want the same thing and no unclear situations where the elephant in the room is not mentioned. Hardballing creates clarity about what you really want – whether that is a serious relationship, casual dating or friendship.
The trend’s name comes from playing ‘hardball’, an American expression used to describe someone being determined and adamant about getting what they want.
“He’s a nice guy, but he can play hardball when necessary.”
Hardballing basically means being very clear about your expectations for a relationship up front . This could be a set schedule of when you want to move in together and have kids or that you don’t want a committed relationship but rather a friend with benefits . If your plans don’t match the other person’s, it’s goodbye.
Logan Ury, Hinge’s Director of Relationship Science, explains: “Hardballing is a new dating term that means someone is clear about their expectations in a relationship, whether you want a serious long-term commitment or a casual fling .” In other words, you get straight to the point to see if there ‘s a mismatch in intentions .
ALSO READ: Couples Have More in Common Than We Think’
Why the ‘hardball’ is so good
Hardballing allows you to take back the wheel of your own dating life. You don’t have to wait for someone to give you a vague sign. You don’t have to doubt whether you’re on the same page. You create the terms on which you want to date. It’s a positive, no-nonsense dating trend that prevents you from wasting time and emotional energy on people who will waste your time.
“The first thing I usually ask is: what are you looking for?” says Bea (21). “If it’s not the same as me, I move on. That way you don’t waste time and you don’t stay in contact with people who don’t want the same thing as you.”
Playing hardball is also a way to avoid realizing months later that it’s not going to work out, when you should have known that from the beginning. This approach can help you stay out of relationships that aren’t going anywhere.
ALSO READ: Is He The One? Not If He Does These 25 Things
A positive trend
From a slew of dating trends that have come and gone in recent years, from ghosting to breadcrumbing and many others, we finally have one that is making a useful contribution. This relatively new shift in user behavior on dating apps is attributed to Generation Z – young adults between the ages of 18 and 25 – who are the most heavily represented on the app. If we look at Tinder ’s user base , for example, half of it is made up of users in this age group.
Gen Z generally has a more honest and sincere way of dealing with each other. They play less games with each other, demand more authenticity and dare to be vulnerable more easily. What mainly contributes to the new trend is that they are more ‘straightforward’ than previous generations, which has led to the new trend called ‘hardballing’.
P.S. Are you already following Gistinger.com on Facebook , Instagram and Twitter?