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Falling in love with someone who sees you as an option is one of the most painful experiences to go through. It is a time of uncertainty and insecurity, because you are entrusting your feelings to someone who may never appreciate or reciprocate them.
While you hold out hope that his feelings will change someday , you’re waiting for something that you’re not even sure will happen. You’re sacrificing your self-worth and dignity in the hope of more. But that voice in your head that tells you he’ll come around someday is rarely telling the truth. That’s why people say “being an option is not an option.”
Being an option is sad. It’s a hopeless situation. But it’s even worse when you’re not only an option, but also the second choice. That’s when you’re a side chick .
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What is a side chick?
A side chick is a woman who is both an option and a backup – a “girlfriend” on the side. You are the other woman in his life, the mistress . It means that you are his lover, a woman who is entering into an intimate relationship with a man who is already in a relationship. Side chicks often know that there is another woman, but they hope that he will ultimately choose them.
7 Signs You’re Not the ‘Main Chick’
Do you feel like you’re not his first choice? Or do you think there’s another woman he’d rather have? Then it’s possible that you’re his side chick . We’ll tell you how to know if you’re his side chick.
1. You don’t know his social circle
As the side chick, you have to stay hidden. His family and friends (and of course his relationship partner) are not allowed to know anything about you. You are a mystery to his environment. Or better yet: unknown. For example, are you not listed under your own name in his phone? Are you not ‘friends’ on social media? Then you can assume that he wants to keep you a secret.
2. You never meet at his house
Because the relationship involves the necessary discretion, it is never possible to meet at his home . It is not nice to meet each other only at your home, in hotel rooms or in the car, is it? Unfortunately, he does not offer you another choice, because you never see his house from the inside.
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3. You have no control
As the side chick, you never have control over the relationship. You always have to wait and see when you hear from him. He has enough to do with his life – you are a side issue. He decides when, where and at what time you will see each other. If you only expect sex from him, that might not be a problem. But if feelings are involved, that can really hurt.
4. You’re not at the top of his list
He has enough other things to do that you don’t see him often. Because of all his obligations, he will hardly have time for you. And when he does have time, it will probably be just as quickly. You are not a priority . You have no influence on that, because you have to stick to his schedule and not the other way around.
5. You are not important to him
He may be an important person in your life, but this is certainly not the case for him. Although he can tell you that your relationship has a future , his actions and behavior tell you how things really are. In his eyes, you are just a lady who he quickly visits when he feels like it.
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6. You’re only good for sex
Analyze how your dates go. Does he leave right after sex? Does he not want to come when sex is impossible? And is he mainly focused on his own needs? Then you know that he wants nothing more from you than sex. He does not see a future with you and no, he does not really love you.
7. You feel guilty
Do you feel guilty, but can’t quite place where it’s coming from? It’s probably your gut feeling that tells you he’s already taken. Emotional health is very important and things that don’t sit well with you can disrupt this. When you feel like you ’re not the only one , it can start to gnaw at your conscience.
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