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Although some couples always seem in love, happy and united to the outside world, every relationship requires hard work. Even the happiest couples experience ups and downs within their relationship.
Are you and your partner currently going through a difficult period and can’t figure it out together? It can help enormously if someone from the outside looks at it with an open, professional view and gives you advice.
We call such a person a relationship therapist. He or she helps couples who have problems to see if they can solve their problems and come out stronger together. We are going to tell you more about it.
What is a relationship therapist?
It is the job of a relationship therapist to help couples in their relationship. When problems, arguments and other unpleasant situations are going on, a relationship therapist can help mediate. When people grow apart , cheat or have constant arguments for some other reason, it can help to consult a relationship therapist.
He or she provides insight into each other’s behavior and way of communicating, making it possible to break through those ingrained, negative patterns. When this succeeds, people often grow closer again and it turns out that the relationship can still work. Or not, but the relationship therapist can help with a peaceful solution to ‘part as good friends’.
What does a relationship therapist do?
Have you decided that you and your partner need help with your relationship problems ? Then it is possible to make an appointment with a relationship therapist. Such a therapist generally uses different forms of therapy, depending on the problems you are dealing with.
First, conversations are held, both between the therapist and the couple and between the people within the relationship. It is important that as much as possible comes to light, so that the therapist can respond to this as best as possible. The relationship therapist then looks at the situation from both perspectives, without taking sides.
What kind of problems can you go there for?
Know that when you need help in your relationship, no problem is too crazy. This means that regardless of the size of the problem or the amount of problems, you can always turn to a relationship therapist. It is their job to help you get over it as best as possible. Whether that is with each other or without each other.
When it appears that the relationship no longer has a chance or when the partners are not willing enough to work on themselves and the relationship, it is sometimes better to continue without each other. Whatever the outcome of your relationship therapy , sooner or later you will realize that this was the best for both of you.
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It is a liberal profession
Did you know that a relationship therapist does not need to have any specific training? This means that it is a liberal profession. It is possible that a relationship therapist has a background in psychology or has taken coaching courses, but that is not necessary. Keep in mind that there are also relationship therapists who have appointed themselves. Therefore, do preliminary research on the relationship therapist to be sure about his or her suitability. And always use your common sense.
Do you feel that someone does not understand how to solve your problems? Or does it seem like someone does not have good intentions and is asking for unnecessary money for therapy? Then do not be fooled.
Is relationship therapy expensive?
The cost of relationship therapy generally depends on the duration of each session and the number of sessions you take. It is important to determine whether you are both open to it and willing to put in the same amount. Good therapy cannot be expressed in money, but a good therapist can ensure that you do not need endless sessions thanks to his or her experience.
In some cases, employers are willing to reimburse part of the therapy. This is because employees with problems at home are not performing as well as usual. There are also relationship therapists who do the work as an extra or extra income. This can be very cheap, but you have to think for yourself whether you can really make progress this way. Such therapists, for example, have less experience or a one-sided approach.
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Different types of relationship therapy
A relationship therapist can use various therapy methods: from systems therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy to gestalt therapy and EFT. The therapist may be an adherent of one specific school of therapy, but often it is a combination of forms of therapy that are used. These are two of the most well-known forms of therapy.
EFT: Emotionally Focussed Therapy
Relationship therapy is a long-term investment, because ultimately you benefit greatly from it as a couple. One of the most common forms of therapy is EFT: Emotionally Focused Therapy . This form is often chosen by couples where love is hard to find and who always seem to be diametrically opposed to each other, without any understanding of the other’s point of view. During EFT relationship therapy you focus on the emotions and needs that you and your partner have and you learn to understand each other better. This way it is possible to grow together again.
What does EFT couples therapy do?
EFT is a very powerful way to make two partners feel connected again. It emphasizes the underlying emotions and needs that you both have, but that were not heard or accepted before. You learn to understand each other little by little and break negative patterns. By making a clean start in this way, you lay a beautiful foundation for your future together.
The therapist observes how you interact with each other and what your pitfalls are. By bridging those pitfalls and taking your personal situation and needs into account, you will create more connection.
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IBCT: Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy
Do you no longer feel heard in your relationship and do conversations that still take place completely pass each other by? If you are annoyed by this, but would like to get over it together, IBCT is a suitable form of relationship therapy. In this, the focus is on personal differences, emotional sensitivities, external stress and communication patterns.
First, attention is paid to emotional acceptance and tolerance. You first try to accept certain things. Only then will we look at problems that can be solved. In regular therapy, the order is reversed.
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Why does IBCT work?
In Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy, you not only follow therapy sessions, but you also get homework. In addition to the conversations you have during the sessions, you get useful assignments with which you can practice together. After you have discussed a number of personal differences and have decided to accept each other’s, it is possible to communicate better with each other. Blaming each other and trying to prove you are right then seem a lot less important.
Once you have found peace in that, we will look at external stressors and how they can be resolved. If communication remains difficult, the relationship therapist or psychologist in this case will help you learn to communicate more effectively with each other.
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What works best?
There are different types of relationship therapy for a reason. One type works better for one couple and their problems than for another. However, both EFT and IBCT have proven to be successful. For EFT, this has even been scientifically proven. If you and your partner reach the second phase of therapy together, it is virtually impossible to relapse. Results are often achieved quickly.
At IBCT, it is the case that no less than 70 percent of all couples benefit from choosing this form of therapy. After much research, this form appears to be very effective not only with quarrelsome and cheating partners, but also with LHBTI couples. However, it remains a personal matter and it is important for a couple to look at what you need and to follow your heart. After all, your heart is what will play the leading role during relationship therapy.
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