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You may have heard of the term parasocial relationship, but perhaps not. The concept was introduced by Donald Horton and Richard Wohl in the 1950s. But nevertheless, it is still a relatively unknown concept, while we all recognize the situation. When we talk about a parasocial relationship, we are talking about a certain kind of ‘intimacy at a distance’ that you can experience with someone who does not know you.
Perhaps you feel that you or someone around you is experiencing such an understanding. To give you more information about a parasocial relationship, we will tell you what it is and 5 signs that you are in such a relationship.
What is a parasocial relationship?
Have you ever wondered what a movie character, celebrity or TV personality would do despite not being on screen? Did you feel very close to these people, even though you have never seen them in real life? It may be that you have developed a parasocial relationship.
A parasocial relationship is a lasting understanding with a media figure in which a continuous and one-sided bond is central. You are in love with someone who is frequently depicted in the media. This person does not know about your existence. In addition, you also constantly talk about him or her as if he or she were one of your friends or even your partner.
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Three levels of parasocial relationships
There are three levels in the development of a parasocial relationship . The first level is entertainment/social and you only chat about him or her with friends. The second level goes a little further. This level is intense/personal and occurs mainly in young teenagers. There is a strong bond with the celebrity and you are interested in that person’s personal life and taste. There is a slight obsession with the celebrity present.
The third level is borderline pathological. At this level, things get out of hand. Behaviors such as stalking or fantasies of the celebrity reciprocating the feelings may result. You think you have a relationship with the person, while this person doesn’t know you at all.
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5 signs you are in a parasocial relationship
If you are unsure whether you (or someone you know) are in a parasocial relationship, there are a number of signs that can help you recognize it. When you’re a fan of someone, you might have a few items here and there from your favorite celebrity. And you probably enjoy talking about him or her with friends. But if you go too far, you may have developed a parasocial relationship. These are 5 signs that you are in a parasocial relationship.
1. You check social media obsessively
The first sign that you are in a parasocial relationship is if you regularly check the celebrity’s social media profiles. And by this we don’t mean once or twice a week, but on a daily basis – several times a day. You are obsessive about everything that concerns him or her and try to keep an eye on every photo or video.
It may even go as far as trying to find out where he or she is at the moment. In addition, with a parasocial relationship you also keep an eye on other pages that have to do with that person.
2. Buying merchandise
A second sign that you are in a parasocial relationship is that your room or house is completely filled with that person’s merchandise. There is of course nothing wrong with a light collection, but you do spend a lot of money buying objects with his or her face on it. This way you feel like you are even closer to the celebrity. Even towels and pillowcases contain a picture of the person and you only drink coffee or tea from a mug with a photo of the celebrity.
3. You want to meet him or her in person
You want to be as close to this celebrity as possible, so a third sign of a parasocial relationship is that you go out of your way to meet him or her. You have the feeling that you are soulmates and that you will do everything you can to meet that person in real life.
You send messages to social media accounts or you try to arrange a meeting through management. It can even go so far as to stalk the person if you know where someone lives, all in the hope of meeting this celebrity.
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4. You change your lifestyle
A fourth sign that you are in a parasocial relationship is that you adapt your lifestyle to that of the celebrity. If he or she becomes vegetarian, you will too. Does that person only buy clothing from brand x? Then you buy that too.
You are adoring that person for his or her lifestyle and want to mirror yours as closely as possible. You may not realize it yet, but if others point this out to you, it may be that you feel an obsessive love for this celebrity.
5. You feel like the person is only talking to you
Finally, we will tell you the last sign by which you can recognize that you have built a parasocial relationship. And this is the strongest sign that you are in a parasocial relationship. When you see him or her on television (or through another channel), you think that person is talking directly to you and not to an audience.
You will be completely absorbed in the program and may feel special that he or she is talking to you. This is of course not the case, but that is how you experience it. In addition, you trust this person and you have the feeling that your feelings will be reciprocated positively when you see him or her.
Time to seek help?
If you recognize the above signs and think to yourself: “I have that too”, then there is a good chance that you are dealing with a parasocial relationship. It is then up to yourself or people around you to point this out to you. If it gets out of hand, it is a delusional disorder – also known as Clérambault syndrome .
If it goes so far that you are busy with this celebrity almost 24/7, then it is wise to seek help. There is more to life and the chance is very small that you will actually get in touch with him or her in the way you want.
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