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It seems very convenient and easy, but at the same time it is quite difficult to stick to the unwritten rules of this type of relationship. We are talking about a fling . If you make the mistake of starting a fling without knowing the rules, there is a big chance that it will go wrong. By not being clear about what a fling exactly entails, this relationship can quickly fail.
But what exactly is a fling? What are the characteristics of such a relationship? What rules do you have to adhere to? And what are the signs that you notice that it is a fling and not a love relationship? That, and more, we will tell you.
What is a fling?
A fling is a casual relationship between two people where there is almost always sexual contact, but without the necessary expectations and obligations that come with a normal romantic relationship. In short, it is the pleasures without the burdens. This contrast makes it an attractive idea for many people.
For example, you can have a short fling in the summer, like a holiday romance , where you meet someone and have a short-lived romance all summer long. Both parties understand that their relationship is not long-term, but that they will be together for a short time. A fling can sometimes last just a few days, but it can also last a whole season. You can do lots of fun things together, spend time together, but don’t expect it to turn into a serious relationship.
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Reasons to start a fling
There are a number of different reasons why people would rather have a fling than a relationship. Maybe you are physically attracted to someone, but it is not someone you would want to have a real romantic relationship with. Maybe you can have exciting adventures together, but you both know that it would not work for a real relationship. Or maybe you want to have sex with a “regular” person, but you don’t want the burdens and expectations that come with a relationship.
One reason why many people choose a summer fling is because they only see that person on vacation during the summer months. It is then immediately clear to both of you that you are not together the rest of the year, but for the summer months it can be a great adventure. You can have lots of dates together and do fun things , without the expectations of a real relationship.
But before you can start this type of relationship, it is important to know the unwritten rules. We have listed these rules, advice and tips for you, so that you know what you are getting into.
Tip 1: Set ground rules
It is important to set some ground rules early on in the relationship. These rules should ensure that the relationship remains casual and that you both know where you stand. Talk about how you communicate with each other, what you expect from the relationship, what the boundaries are, how often you meet and who knows about your relationship. By making this clear, the chance that your fling will last is much greater.
Remind each other of these agreed rules during the relationship. This prevents worries. If you notice that your fling is starting to get feelings, talk about the rules of your relationship and possibly stop it if it threatens to get out of hand.
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Tip 2: Don’t introduce each other to friends and family
An important rule for a fling is that you do not introduce each other to your friends and family. Introducing someone to these important people in your life implies that you have a romantic relationship with this person, when this is not the case. It can quickly cause your fling to become a lot more serious than it was originally intended.
Tip 3: No presents
Gifts are part of a relationship. You give each other thoughtful gifts or do nice things for each other to show that you care about that person. With a fling, it is clear to both of you that this is not a real relationship. So don’t give each other nice gifts , but stay casual in the relationship.
The benefits of a fling
Having a fling can have a lot of benefits. For example, it can be convenient if you don’t feel like dealing with the obligations and expectations of a real relationship. In addition, a fling can be incredibly romantic and you can do a lot of great things together. Without being tied to an obligation.
In addition, a fling can help you to live in the moment, to enjoy the moments together and not to think too much about the future or other problems. It can be very relaxing to have a fling and just enjoy. Even if you have a busy life and do not have time for “mandatory” dates, a fling can be a perfect way to meet someone when you have the time and feel like it.
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The Disadvantages of a Fling
In addition to these advantages, there are also a number of disadvantages associated with having a fling. These often stem from not setting the rules properly or not knowing what you are getting into. For example, it can be the case that you start to develop romantic feelings for someone.
If this is the case, then it is wiser to end the fling immediately, since this is not why you started this type of relationship. The chance that your fling has also developed these romantic feelings for you and that your fling will grow into a real relationship is quite small. It is possible, but the chance is small.
Also, a fling can cause you to spend less time with your friends and family because you spend a lot of time with this person. So make sure you find a balance in this and that you also make enough time for other important people in your life.
5 Signs It’s a Fling and Not a Relationship
Imagine that you have just started a relationship with someone and you notice that you are starting to develop feelings. It is time to find out if your partner wants a long-term romantic relationship with you or if he or she sees you more as a fling. Here are some signs that you can notice that it is a fling and not a relationship.
1. You are not invited to meet friends or family
If someone is interested in you for the long term, they will eventually ask you to meet their friends and family. You will be an important part of their life, so meeting these people is important. If you are a fling with someone, chances are you will never meet these people.
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2. It’s pretty much about the sex
One of the main reasons to have a fling with someone is for the sexual contact. So chances are that a fling will mainly text you or send you a message for sex, not to meet up with you in some other way.
3. Holes in your contact
If you have a fling, you probably won’t be communicating with each other day in and day out. If it’s a romantic relationship, you keep each other updated on what you’re doing and you talk a lot; this isn’t the case if it’s a fling.
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4. You don’t make plans for the future
In a fling, you both know that it is a short-term relationship. So you will not talk about the future or make plans for a few weeks or months. You live in the moment and enjoy each other now.
5. You never go on real dates
A fling doesn’t have to be all about sex and you can of course also meet in other ways. However, there is a big chance that you often do something last minute, and never really have a planned date with each other. You hang out, watch movies or have sex, but you will never go out for a fancy dinner. A fling is casual and not a romantic relationship with many dates.
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