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You’ve reached the point in your life where you’re done with the fling and need a committed partner? Assuming you’re a woman, you’re done with players , fuckboys , and basically all of these types? Granted, they’re exhausting and don’t help you move forward in a serious relationship. But even if you think you’ve found the right guy, it could be that he’s not ready for a relationship. Huh?
You are ready for a relationship, but he is not (yet).
While you thought you had found a committed partner, who is completely open and honest with you, it ends up being a huge disappointment. You want a relationship, he (suddenly) doesn’t. Or you want to take the relationship to the next level, while your partner is not ready for the commitment you desire. And often a man lets you know with the common phrase: ‘I’m not ready for a relationship’. But what does that actually mean, when your lover says that to you?
What ‘Not Ready for a Relationship’ Means
In general, it is normal that some people need more time than others. This is the case for both men and women. But sometimes the person who says it can also have other motives that are not so honest. For example, to keep you hanging. Do you want to know what situation you are in? We will tell you more about the possible explanations. Again, we assume that it is the man who is not ready, but it could just as well be a woman.
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He and you move at a different pace
The future of your relationship depends on the commitment process you are in. What love and commitment mean to you may not mean the same to the other person. He may have just gotten out of a difficult relationship or things may not be moving as fast as they are for you. If he says he is not ready for a relationship, it could be that based on past experiences he wants to take things slow.
He doesn’t like you enough
Waiting for someone who doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you at all can cause you a lot of heartbreak in the future. If you see that your partner is afraid to commit , it’s important to think about your emotional health and well-being. If he’s not investing in you as much as he should, it can only cause you more stress, anxiety, and dissatisfaction. So be realistic and ask yourself if he likes you enough. Because that’s one of the main reasons why a man says he’s not ready for a relationship.
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He just wants to be a friend with benefits
It is possible that he does not want a relationship, but does want some form of friends with benefits . Keep in mind that an emotionally unavailable partner is unlikely to offer you the commitment and support that you seek. He may not feel the need to fully commit to one person at the moment. He may be more interested in dating different people and would prefer a no-strings-attached relationship.
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What to do
It’s very simple: if you share some kind of bond with each other, then you can confront him with his behavior. You force him to think about how he wants to behave towards you. Does he not want to change his behavior and does it seem more like a friends with benefits relationship? Then it is probably the right time to end the relationship. At least, if you want more than that.
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To wait or not to wait?
Does he really see a relationship in the future? But doesn’t know when that future will change into the present? Then you could choose to wait. But let’s be honest, waiting is hard. However, for the right person, it can be worth it . So give him time if he seems serious and shows that you are serious.
Waiting can help to strengthen your partner’s decision. At the same time, you build a healthier dynamic in your relationship. Although you may think that your partner only needs a short time to make a decision, it can ultimately take months or even years for him to make a decision. It is therefore very important to discuss your wishes with him in time to make it clear that the waiting period is not indefinite.
Making a choice
Once you have more clarity about your situation, it is time to look inside yourself and make a choice. This requires some honesty with yourself and the situation you are dealing with. Think about what you want and feel. Combine this with the reality of the situation. Are you able to wait for this person to decide what they want, even if it means being in a constant state of uncertainty?
If this is the person you want to share your future with, then it might be a good idea to give them some time. Pursuing a serious relationship is indeed a big risk you are taking. Although you are risking your heart, at least you are giving it a fair chance.
Just make sure you don’t neglect yourself and that the relationship you are building now leads to a healthy partnership. You don’t want a relationship where your needs are not taken into account. And perhaps most importantly, discuss your own expected timelines with your lover, because your happiness counts too.
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