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As if dating before corona wasn’t hard enough, the onset of the global virus brought a whole new set of challenges for singles. Bars and discos were closed everywhere (and sometimes still are), authorities would long suggest to keep the 1.5 meter distance at all times and we weren’t even allowed to go outside after a certain time. Despite the lockdowns, singles remained surprisingly open to the new possibilities of finding new partners.
While video calling was much less common before the corona crisis during the initial phase of getting to know someone, during the pandemic people suddenly had no choice but to use the possibilities that technology offered us. And so video dating suddenly became very topical. But how do you do that well? Because we all know that communicating via a screen is different than face-to-face.
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Video dating is hot
To put the video dating boom in perspective, a recent survey by global dating app Match found that 69% of users in the United States were open to video dating with a potential partner, up from just 6% who had tried it before the pandemic. Bumble, the first major dating app to launch an in-app video tool last year, also saw a big increase in video usage.
There was also a surge in so-called live dating games, with The Meet Group , a US market leader in this niche, seeing a 95% increase in the number of live dates. This growth included both video speed dating events and blind dating games for users who wanted to focus on personality rather than looks. The Inner Circle app was even said to be integrating video into virtual pub quizzes. These are all isolated examples of how ‘normal’ video dating has become and the possibilities it can offer singles.
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Online feels familiar
The reason why video dating has been able to gain so much popularity in such a short time is not only due to the pandemic. Most people have become increasingly accustomed to the possibilities that video and audio offer us in recent years. Online meetings with Zoom or Skype, FaceTime with friends, WhatsApp video calls with those same friends, recording audio messages instead of typing them out; the way we communicate has changed quite a bit in the last 10 years.
The pandemic was the final push to push users to an online environment. While 15 years ago we were hesitant to buy a product online or make an online transaction, we are now used to nothing else. Online feels familiar.
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10 tips for your first video date
Lockdowns or no lockdowns, video dates are here to stay and we might as well prepare ourselves for dates that are becoming less and less traditional. Why go out for dinner, to a café or to the cinema when you can get to know each other from the comfort of your own home? However, that also means that people shouldn’t get too complacent just because you’re sitting on the couch at home. We’ll give you some tips to make sure that a video date from your living room is just as exciting as in a café or bar.
1. Get to know the technology
You want to come across as someone who knows how the technology works, so make sure you know how the video dating platform works. Also, pay special attention to flattering lighting and angles. If you look at the camera from the wrong angle, you’ll be all chin and nostrils, while looking up slightly will make your face look much better. In other words: position your phone or laptop in such a way that the camera can capture you clearly. What you definitely shouldn’t use? Filters. Don’t use filters.
2. Pay attention to your surroundings
If you have already had video calls for work, consider not using the same space for your video date. Do you have an office or workspace at home? Then sit somewhere else during the date. Dating is done in your private time and not in a professional setting. Therefore, keep the atmosphere as relaxed as possible. Do tidy up the space behind you and pay attention to your surroundings. No strange objects and no strange books in sight.
3. Avoid interruptions
You wouldn’t bring your roommates, friends, or parents on a first date, right? So try to minimize the chance of them interrupting your video call. A pet suddenly walking into the picture might be an exception, because they can potentially break the ice. And let’s be honest: if we have a dog or cat ourselves, we don’t want to date someone who doesn’t like pets. Every human being loves animals.
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4. See the video date as a first step
Video dating is a way to get to know someone and should be seen as a first step towards “real acquaintance”. It is about being enthusiastic enough to meet the other person in real life. It is not a replacement for a date. It is a starter – not the main course.
5. Dress up, to some extent
It’s a first date, but you’re both sitting at home. A ball gown, suit, or even a blazer are therefore a bit too much. While a man could wear a blazer on a first physical meeting, it’s a bit unusual to sit in your own living room with a blazer on. The same goes for a dress for a woman.
The other extreme, easy jogging pants or pajamas doesn’t seem very wise to us either. Keep it natural, make sure you’re comfortable, but look good.
6. Be sensible
Video dating is safer than meeting in person, that much is clear. However, you should be aware of the risks that video dating also entails. For example, do not give your address to the other person or do crazy things like undressing in front of the camera. After all, that can be used against you. Do not do anything that you do not feel comfortable with.
7. Multiple dates in one night? Why not
One advantage of video dating is that it is logistically easier to have multiple dates in one night, as long as you want to and can handle it of course. Just make sure you know why you are doing it and what you are doing. Don’t confuse the different dates. That can raise suspicion. After all, no one likes to be one of the options.
8. Be positive
First dates should be filled with positivity, even if you have a pessimistic nature. Talk about positive things, don’t focus on things that annoy, irritate, excite, or anger you. Do n’t talk about topics you hate or dislike, but discuss topics that make you smile and feel happy. Make the first meeting (and the dates after that) a positive experience.
9. Deal with clumsiness skillfully
What do we mean by that? Video calls can feel weird, but the more you do it, the easier it gets. So don’t expect your first video date to go smoothly right away. You might not know how to use the settings or the other person might not. And you might mess with the camera position or the microphone. Always play this smart by adding some humor.
Even if you are a bit nervous, you can say that. However, make sure you do this in a helpful and fun way, not in a stressed or complaining way. Joking breaks the ice and provides a bit of self-mockery.
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10. Keep the conversation alive
Now, we hope you’re naturally talkative, and ideally your date is too. However, there are ways to keep the conversation going. For example, a smile goes a long way in helping you out than a stoic stare, but asking open-ended questions instead of closed ones will also help.
Don’t let the fact that it’s a first date throw you off too much. Be as open and communicative as you would be with your friends on a video call . As long as the conversation is lively, there’s potential for a next date.
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