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Both men and women can have high demands on their partners. Or better yet: too high demands. These are the demands that at first glance do not seem so crazy, but combined can form a major obstacle to finding a partner. These are the expectations that no one can meet. But how can you know if your demands and expectations are too high?
A certain amount of goal setting is never a bad thing. You want the best of the best for yourself – that’s only natural. And striving for that is also perfectly fine. But what many people don’t realize is that no one is perfect enough to tick all the boxes. And by holding on to their high expectations, these people aren’t giving anyone a fair chance. Are you seeing any of the following signs in your budding relationship? Then it’s time to adjust your standards.
1. Your partner must fit into your perfect picture
Do you have an ideal image in your head and are you unable to find a partner who fits in perfectly? Maybe it is your fault and it is time to let go of or adjust your ideal image. Nobody is perfect, not even you. And a relationship is hard work. You do not have to let go of your ideal image completely, but perhaps you can lower the bar a little?
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2. You expect nothing but romance from your partner
Do you watch a lot of romantic movies and do you expect this sparkling romance from your partner? Unfortunately, real life is not a movie scene. In real life, men and women are just a little less (or a lot less) romantic than the actors and actresses on the silver screen would have us believe. We don’t live in a fairytale world. So adjust your expectations of romance a little.
3. Your partner should always have time for you
Of course, your partner is your number one priority and you are your partner’s number one priority. But that doesn’t mean that he or she always has time for you. Family, friends, colleagues can also call on the other. And don’t forget that your partner may also need time for themselves. So yes, in case of emergency you can count on your partner and he or she will be there for you immediately. But in all other cases it may well be that you will have to wait a while.
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4. Do you always see a discussion as the beginning of the end?
A good discussion doesn’t have to be bad at all. In fact, it can also be good for your relationship. If you listen to each other well and let each other finish, then a discussion with your new love might be very good for your relationship. You get to know each other even better. See it as an opportunity to grow even closer to each other.
Of course, talk it out and don’t let the discussion escalate into an argument. Because then a relationship break-up might be lurking. So don’t avoid a chance to communicate . If you always run away from everything, you don’t give your partner the opportunity to work on themselves. So be honest with each other and listen to the other.
5. You are everything your partner needs
Do you think that you are the only person in your loved one’s life that this person needs? And do you want the other to be completely dependent on you for happiness? Perhaps your relationship is not as strong as you think. Happiness in life requires more than just a romantic partner. You also need friends and family. So don’t expect your loved one to not only focus on you for happiness in life, but also expect them to invest in relationships with other people.
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6. You expect your partner to ‘know’ what you want
Sometimes you hear the expression ‘one look is enough’. And yes, those cases do occur sometimes. But usually a partner cannot read your mind. And often it is necessary to clearly tell how you feel, what you are thinking and what you want. Do you think you can read your partner’s mind? But is there often irritation between you? Then ask yourself if you really know what your partner wants. Maybe a good conversation is a real eye-opener for your relationship.
7. You expect your partner to adore you on social media
If your partner never likes or comments on your social media or never responds to your Facebook posts, it doesn’t mean they’re ashamed of you. Not everyone checks all their social media accounts all day long, so your partner might not even see a lot of your posts in their timeline.
Are you worried that your new lover never posts a photo of you on social media? Talk about it. There may be a very good reason not to. For example, your partner may use social media mainly for work, and love photos of you may not be very professional. So don’t expect your partner to adore you on social media.
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8. You think you should have the same hobbies
Do you think it is important that you have the same hobby or share the same interests? They often say that opposites attract . So let your partner choose his or her own hobby and don’t drag the other to the tennis court, just because that is one of your hobbies. Each choose your own hobby, tell each other about it and give each other freedom. You will see that this will eliminate a lot of frustration.
9. You expect what you do to be good
Are you the type that wants the towels in the closet in a certain way? And does your new partner always do it ‘wrong’? Then ask yourself if your partner’s way is really that wrong, or if you are making unrealistic demands. The most important thing is that the towels are in the closet. Whether you fold them from left to right first or from top to bottom first is suddenly no longer so important.
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10. You expect a marriage proposal from your partner soon
Do you give your partner daily hints that you think it is time to get married? But after three months he still does not ask you? Then do not put too much pressure on your partner, but ask yourself why you expect a proposal so soon? Invest in your relationship and get to know each other even better.
You only propose marriage if you are absolutely sure that you are a perfect match. So don’t expect a proposal right away, enjoy the time you spend together. And if you are sure that you belong together, then of course you can also propose to your partner yourself.
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