Trust Issues: 8 Signs of Trust Problems in Your Relationship

For some people, one of the hardest things in a new relationship is learning to trust the other person. And while it is no secret that trust is one of the most important things in a relationship . Even though their new partner gives no reason to be suspicious, some people are still unable to give them confidence. How is this possible?

Trust allows you to feel safe with your partner. If you trust your partner, you assume that he or she has your best interests at heart. Whatever the situation, you trust them to do the right thing. They will not intentionally hurt or disappoint you. If this trust is not there, we talk about trust problems, also called trust issues .

Are you curious whether you suffer from trust problems in the relationship? Would you like to know more about trust issues? And would you like some tips on how to best deal with it? We’ll tell you more about it.

What is trust?

Trust is being able to rely on something or someone. It is the belief in the reliability and truth of another. And trust is a fundamental human experience, because it is necessary for society to function. Some even call it the glue of society that holds everything together. The presence of trust strengthens relationships because it allows you to live and work together, feel safe and belong to a group or someone.

The ability to trust others is determined by your life experiences. What you have experienced in your life determines how easily or difficult you trust others. In fact, distrust is a form of self-protection: the more times you’ve been hurt, the harder it is to trust people. If trust is not there, fear reigns. And this fear leads to distrust.

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Distrust in a relationship

In a relationship, mistrust can spread like wildfire. It can start very small, when you doubt your partner when he or she says something you don’t believe. It makes you insecure about the reliability of your partner. This doubt, if not resolved, can grow into suspicion over time. There are suspicions, but no proof.

Because it is not expressed and the suspicions remain, a feeling of fear follows. Nervousness, pent-up anger and knots in the stomach: these are the symptoms that manifest themselves when there is suspicion. And because mistrust remains, you can no longer be open and vulnerable. You go into self-protection mode: you withdraw, the walls come up and you push your partner away.

“Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair.”

Trust problems in a relationship often have a clear cause. Many have been victims of betrayal, abandonment or manipulation and are traumatized as a result. They take what they experienced then with them into the present. It’s the emotional baggage they carry. It could have been a family member, a colleague, a neighbor or even their partner. But they can also be experiences from far in the past.

For example, experiences from one’s childhood can cause mistrust later in life. When parents fail to keep their promises and are inconsistent, they create an environment of uncertainty and mistrust in a child. Because of this, they may find it difficult to trust others later because they fear being hurt, betrayed, or abandoned again.

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8 signs that you have trust issues

When you have trust issues, you have difficulty trusting others. The general distrust in other people can manifest itself in both big and small things. These are eight signs that you have trust issues.

1. You avoid commitment . No matter how much you care about someone, you refuse to commit to that person . You think you are protecting yourself with this, because then you cannot be hurt.
2. You assume betrayal. Even though you have no good reason, you suspect that someone has betrayed your trust.
3. You often distance yourself from others. To avoid fear of abandonment , you decide it’s best to limit your relationships.
4. You’re too protective. This mainly concerns yourself and your loved ones, for fear that you and others will be hurt.
5. You are waiting for betrayal. No matter how honest someone has been in the past, you assume that someone will cheat on you at some point .
6. You are overly guarded. Everyone you meet is kept at a distance as you exercise extreme caution. You are suspicious of everyone you meet.
7. You feel lonely or depressed. Because of your fears you have isolated yourself from others and you feel alone and depressed.
8. You don’t forgive the smallest mistakes. When someone makes a small mistake or does something accidentally, you turn a mosquito into an elephant.

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5 tips to overcome trust issues

It’s quite possible that trust issues are preventing you from building a happy and healthy relationship. If you’re done letting distrust rule your life, it’s time to make a change. Follow these tips to let go of your problems with confidence.

1. Face your negative feelings

Trust issues usually come as a natural response to past betrayal or hurt. If you’re not sure why you’re having trust issues, dig a little deeper. Think about your past and previous experiences that may have caused the trust issues. What are you afraid of?

Face your fears. It’s the only way to move on. And that can sometimes be quite difficult, so don’t be ashamed if you need help with it. It can be the help of friends or family members, but also professionals, such as a psychologist or therapist.

2. Be considerate of others

All interactions with other people build some form of trust. What you do and say influences the relationship of trust. A habit of never trusting others can ruin the relationship . So always take others into account, especially people who are close to you or with whom you have a certain relationship.

3. Accept that you have no control over others

Nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. People will let you down in life. They will disappoint you no matter how much you try to prevent that. Not everyone will stay in your life forever. And with every relationship there is a risk of a break-up . If you want to avoid this at all costs, you will never experience the happiness of a healthy relationship.

4. Learn how to build trust

Most people trust others until they have a reason not to. Others only trust people when the trust has been earned. It’s up to you if and when you choose to trust someone – everyone does it differently. Seeing and understanding how to generate and give trust can help you better understand your own situation.

5. Take risks

Sometimes there’s no better way to overcome your relationship fears by just taking the plunge. Give others confidence and see what happens with it. Make yourself vulnerable and risk getting hurt. Experiencing that it doesn’t always end in a fiasco can give you the confidence to trust people more.

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