Share This Article
From having regular date nights to taking the time to have substantive conversations, there are a number of things you and your partner can do to keep the relationship alive.
But there are also some things you can do that can make the relationship stressful. And then we haven’t even started talking about lying , cheating or manipulating . One type of relationship appears to be stressful in itself, according to recent research. That’s because the people in these relationships are doing something that almost no one can handle.
On-off relationships are stressful for a long time
A group of American researchers led by Kale Monk from the University of Missouri discovered that on-off relationships are particularly stressful. The breakup-reunite pattern, known as relationship cycling, has been linked to mental health problems such as anxiety and depression. In fact , according to the research, published in the journal Family Relations, the more often a relationship goes on and off, the more anxiety those involved will feel.
To find out whether this type of relationship is actually stressful for the people undergoing cycling, the researcher decided to follow more than 500 participants over a period of 15 months. The researchers asked questions about their relationship type, whether they had broken up and gotten back together with their current partner, and if so, the number of times they had broken up and reconciled. Subsequently, questions were also asked about the psychological stress they experienced.
The findings showed that entering and exiting relationships is associated with anxiety and depression. In particular, those who repeatedly break up and reunite with their partner “reported more symptoms of psychological distress over the 15-month period.” This suggests that the more often people break up and get back together, the more anxiety they feel in the relationship.
People who have broken up one or more times and reconciled with their partner have an on-again, off-again relationship.
ALSO READ: 26 Classic Causes of Common Relationship Problems
Longer than a year
The researchers believe that these on/off, on/off relationships can have a long-lasting negative impact on couples’ mental health, with the negative effects sometimes lasting longer than a year.
“We see several consequences associated with these relationships, such as less satisfaction with the relationship, poorer communication, less commitment, more intimate partner violence, and in this particular study we found that it is associated with depression and anxiety symptoms over time,” says Monk, lecturer in Human Development & Family Science at the University of Missouri . “We followed these people over time and found that our previous findings have been true for more than a year.”
ALSO READ: Is It Difficult to Share Feelings? These are 11 Tips to Express Your Emotions
In a previous study , Monk and colleagues discovered that on-again, off-again relationships are associated with psychological problems and that those who were in and out of the same relationship more often also showed more stress symptoms. However, in the most recent study, they found that these effects can last much longer than expected.
Are you in an on-again, off-again relationship and have you broken up again (for a while)? For your well-being, it might be good to say goodbye to the relationship. In a related study, Monk interviewed people who had just broken up. He discovered that women who were in an on-again, off-again relationship reported fewer symptoms of stress than those who had a stable relationship. Monk and his team speculate that these women may experience a greater sense of relief after ending the unstable relationship.
P.S. Are you already following Gistinger.com on Facebook , Instagram and Twitter?