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No matter how many relationship tips you take and even if you try your best to compromise, in no relationship is it possible to agree on everything. All happy couples have discussions or disagreements in which no one wants to compromise.
Some people really want to go to Ibiza to lie on the beach for days, while others want to tick off a dream trip to Bali. Or you think you do enough around the house, but your partner keeps complaining that you don’t do enough. Most of these relationship troubles are overcome by love for each other. But some problems go deeper. In fact, research shows that if you have this one disagreement, you and your partner are twice as likely to divorce. What is this problem? Taking risks, and especially the degree of financial risks you take.
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Taking risks
We all know that fighting over money is a common complaint among couples. How one partner handles money is a thorn in the other’s side. It is common knowledge that conflicts over finances can lead to major relationship problems – which may or may not be resolved. In some cases it even leads to a trip to court to file for divorce .
According to new research from the University of California, the reason behind these financial relationship problems is not so much a lack of money, but rather a differing preference for risks. The research says that – in the long term – this is the biggest predictor of divorce. In fact, couples with the largest difference in risk preferences are twice as likely to divorce, compared to couples who have similar risk attitudes.
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Taking risks
The study, published in the journal The Economic Journal , examined the risk preferences of 5,300 couples from Germany in the period from 2004 to 2017. Participants in the survey – which is conducted annually – were asked how willing they were to take risks. when it comes to their career, sports, driving and financial matters. An analysis found that couples are twice as likely to divorce if they think differently about taking risks.
“Arguing about money is usually cited as a reason for divorce, but a major cause of these conflicts can be differences in risk attitudes,” says Marta Serra-Garcia, author of the study and senior lecturer at the Rady School. “Risk attitudes determine investment decisions, such as family housing. If spouses have different risk preferences, they will often disagree about common and very important investments in the marriage.”
The findings also show that couples who disagree on savings and investment decisions are less likely to own their own home and/or have their home renovated. Serra-Garcia says when couples pool their resources, such as pooling income, they can reap significant benefits from the marriage. The research also shows that couples who have not been together long become more similar over time, showing that risk attitudes are not fixed.
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A tip for the dating industry
The researchers say the study could have implications for the dating industry. Or at least they can learn there. Because a large proportion of couples get to know each other on these dating platforms , they could receive information in advance about the other person’s risk attitude. And that could help them in the long run if the match leads to marriage.
“Dating sites often design algorithms that try to find the optimal match,” says Serra-Garcia. “If such websites suggest matches between people who are similar in their risk attitudes, it could reduce the chance that if a couple does work out, it will fail in the future.”
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