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First dates can be exciting or awkward , often at the same time. You don’t know who you’re talking to, what exactly to talk about, and you may be more concerned with yourself than with the other person. Do I look like the photos? Will the person in front of me like me? And: is the date going well?
When it comes to dating, it’s no wonder you’re asking yourself all these questions. Selecting a partner and ultimately finding the one is a complex process. It’s so complicated that after thousands of studies, scientists still don’t know exactly why some people click and others don’t. And if scientists don’t know, it’s no wonder you don’t either.
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Verbal and non-verbal signals
However, there are a number of things that you can tell if your date is interested in you. Of course, you can tell by what your date says to you. But those are not the only signs that indicate a successful date . Researchers have recently discovered that you can also recognize a mutual interest by body language.
In a new study published in the scientific journal Nature, researchers from Israel’s Hebrew University set out to find out what changes in the bodies of singles during a first date and how they adapt to each other in their behavior.
To find out, the researchers recruited 46 heterosexual participants to go on speed-dating dates. The men and women were introduced to each other during these five-minute speed dates, while their physiology was recorded using a wristband. Behavioral movements during the date, such as nodding, moving an arm, or shifting a leg, were also recorded for each participant. After the speed date, the participants were asked to rate how much romantic interest they had in their conversation partner and whether they felt sexual attraction to each other.
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Adjust to one another
Based on the findings, it seems that your date’s body language alone can be enough to tell if the date is going well. The study clearly shows that romantic interest occurs when singles adjust to each other physiologically and behaviorally. This is what the researchers call “synchronization,” where participants are attuned to each other. The more they are attuned to each other, the more interest and attraction there is.
For example, have you noticed that you cross your hands on a date, while the other person was already in that position? Mirroring each other’s body language is an example of behavioral coordination. But invisible body language also plays a role. In those who felt most attracted to each other, even their nervous systems adapted to each other. The researchers were able to measure this using the wristband that each participant wore.
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Are you a ‘super-synchronizer’?
Surprisingly, the synchronization did not have the same effect on men and women. Men also found the synchronization desirable, only women found it more desirable. Women are therefore generally more susceptible to this synchronization. They felt more attracted to men who showed a high degree of synchronization. The researchers call these men ‘super-synchronizers’ – these men were very popular with the female participants.
Psychologist and study author Shir Atzil says the findings show that body language is a powerful sign of attraction. It can even be a catalyst. “Connecting with a partner depends on how well we can synchronize our bodies,” she says in a press release . “Our research shows that behavioral and physiological synchronization can be a useful mechanism for attracting a romantic partner.”
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