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It is a warm summer evening and you are sitting on a terrace, surrounded by the bustle of people enjoying the relaxed atmosphere. You just started your first date with someone you met on a dating app. As you listen to the stories and laugh at the jokes, you start to wonder: what personality traits does this person actually have? Will these match mine? And especially in the long term?
It can be a nerve-wracking experience meeting a new partner and discovering their personality. In real life it is very different than on a dating app. It is an exciting adventure that can lead to a long-term relationship. But which personality traits are good for a relationship and which are not?
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4 Personality Traits to Avoid
Numerous studies have been conducted on personality traits and relationships. In general we can say that personality plays an important role in the quality of love relationships.
Researchers in Australia have gone a step further and compiled results from 19 studies involving more than 3,800 participants. This research shows that there are four personality traits that – more than others – influence relationships. Psychologist Seth J. Gillihan analyzed the research and says in PsychologyToday these are the four personality traits that have the greatest influence on relationships.
1. Highly neurotic
The strongest predictor of a successful relationship is a personality that scores low on neuroticism. Neuroticism represents how emotionally unstable someone is. For example, someone who quickly becomes emotional or has negative moods scores high on neuroticism, while someone who scores low deals easily with emotions. Highly neurotic is also linked to things like depression, impulsiveness and hostility.
Conversely, people who score low on neuroticism are not easily upset. They can recover relatively quickly from difficult emotions such as anger or sadness. They are not easily stressed and worry less.
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2. Kindness
People who score high on the trait of agreeableness are easy-going, which makes them attractive romantic partners. People who score high on agreeableness tend to be thoughtful, helpful, and caring towards others, while people who score low on agreeableness tend to be more independent. Those who score very low on friendliness are often arrogant, selfish or distrustful.
3. Extraversion
According to the research, it makes a difference in a relationship how extroverted and introverted the partners are. Partners of extroverts are, on average, more satisfied with their relationship than those who are in a relationship with an introvert. Extraversion is a personality trait that indicates how social, outgoing and assertive someone is. In a relationship, extraversion can bring both benefits and challenges.
Extroverts feel energetic in the company of others. They generally prefer to be with other people rather than alone. Introverts, on the other hand, are more comfortable when they are alone . They feel exhausted by social encounters, even if they enjoy them
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4. High sense of duty
A partner who is highly aware is dutiful and responsible. This person consistently meets expectations and obligations. They do what they say they will do, pay their bills on time and are not late. They don’t cause any problems. People who score low on sense of duty, on the other hand, are often sloppy, perform less well and are irresponsible. As you understand, this is a personality trait that you would rather not see in a partner.
These four personality traits are the ones that have the most influence on relationship satisfaction, according to recent research. But even though these personality traits had the greatest influence, they ultimately played a relatively small role in relationship satisfaction.
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