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How much space do you need in your relationship? It seems like an easy question, but it’s almost impossible to answer. It differs not only per person, but also per situation. And on top of that, we don’t always know exactly what the right balance is. We all know it’s important to maintain healthy boundaries and give each other space, but how much?
Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you should never leave each other’s side. There is no (unwritten) rule that prohibits you from doing something on your own. Because even though you are a couple, you are also two individuals with different needs, preferences and goals. When that balance is lost , space for the individual is lost. And that’s when you can start to feel suffocated in your relationship.
Are you not getting enough space to be yourself? Are you being watched all day? And does it feel like you can’t breathe anymore? Then there is a good chance that you are in a suffocating relationship.
What is a suffocating relationship?
A suffocating relationship is one in which one or both do not feel free enough to be themselves. The relationship does not give them the opportunity to be their authentic selves. It’s emotionally suffocating.
The suffocating feeling comes from your own partner, because he or she clings to you and won’t let go. This can take various forms, such as constantly demanding attention without taking your personal space into account. If it develops further it can lead to (mutual) dependence .
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5 signs of a suffocating relationship
Smothering behavior may not really be emotional abuse , but it is toxic behavior . We tell you what the signs are of a suffocating relationship.
1. Your partner seems glued to you
When your loved one is not feeling well, he or she wants to get confirmation from you right away. If there is no recognition from your side, the other person will fall into a deep valley. Recognizable? These are the hallmarks of an affectionate partner. And while there’s nothing wrong with being a little clingy, being too clingy can become a problem.
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2. You are being manipulated
Suffocation in a relationship goes hand in hand with a form of control being exerted on you. For example, consider making you feel guilty, for example that you are not putting any effort into the relationship because you are meeting up with your friends again and not with your partner. It can also become increasingly intense, in the form of lying and cheating , where your partner pretends to be ill so that you no longer leave the house.
3. You don’t have a moment of peace
Even when you are not with your partner, you feel like you are not getting any rest. For example, you receive endless messages and calls, so your partner is assured that your attention is not on anything else. This may seem like genuine interest at the beginning of a relationship and you may even appreciate it, but as the relationship progresses it can quickly come across as suffocating.
4. The jealousy is unprecedented
You feel like you have to constantly walk on your toes. You can’t do anything without thinking twice about it. Will your partner agree? It is a thought that constantly plays in your head. The level of jealousy is not healthy, nor is the caution with which you should proceed.
Does your partner constantly check who you spend your time with and whether you are actually where you say you are? Do you never get the benefit of the doubt? A relationship in which one of the two is extremely jealous is extremely suffocating for the other.
ALSO READ: 7 Signs That A Relationship Could Become Dangerous
5. Your partner only has eyes for you
When you notice that your partner is not making plans with friends, family or acquaintances, it can feel very suffocating. Because who should your partner spend all that ‘extra’ free time with? Exactly, you are given that extra time. You have become the center of his or her world and next to it, almost nothing exists anymore.
Apparently your partner likes to spend as much time as possible with you and preferably no one else. Your partner may not understand that it is also healthy to surround themselves with people outside your relationship.
A suffocating relationship usually develops gradually. Little by little, the boundaries are pushed and your privacy within the relationship decreases. Do you feel like your space is being squeezed further and further in the relationship? Then try to encourage your partner to build their own life with friends and family, so that you are not the only human point of contact outside of work.
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