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People settle for less. If that beautiful Mercedes turns out to cost just a little too much money, most people opt for a cheaper brand. Or the same model, but four years older and without the cool AMG options. We all do that. We settle for less than what we would like to have, knowing that there is something better. And when it comes to love, we don’t do anything different.
For example, in one of your previous relationships you knew you were not being treated well , but you stayed in the relationship anyway. You gave a lot, but you never got what you wanted. You settled for less because you were in love with the potential. A potential that you thought was possible, but that later turned out to be an illusion. Why did you do this to yourself? Why do people settle for less?
8 reasons why you settle for less
We all know someone who makes us wonder why on earth they stay with their partner. Friends, family, acquaintances and colleagues all wonder about this. But no one knows the answer. To an outsider it is a remarkable phenomenon. Because if it is so clear that a partner is not good for you, why would you continue to settle for less than you deserve?
- “He’s not normally so rude, you know.”
- “She’s so jealous because she just loves me so much.”
- “He only controls me because he wants to protect me.”
If these excuses sound familiar to you, and if you’re the one who made them, then you’re not getting what you deserve. You settle for less. Why you do that? There are several reasons for this.
1. You don’t want to be alone
The first and most important reason? That is the fear of being alone. You settle for less than you deserve because you don’t dare to make the decision. You probably think that you will be alone forever and that you are therefore better off in your current relationship – even though you are not satisfied with that either.
2. You deny it
If you deny what is wrong in your relationship, you are lying to yourself. You then settle for less, because you only see what you want to see. If you keep this up long enough, it starts to sound believable. Meanwhile, you’re fooling yourself so you don’t have to face the truth.
3. You think you can change someone else
What isn’t there can still come, you think. In other words: you think that you can change your partner so that he or she becomes someone who is good enough for you. You cling to the potential, but in the end your partner never becomes the one you want and need.
ALSO READ: 26 Classic Causes of Common Relationship Problems
4. You think you deserve this
When others ask why you settle for less, you disagree about the ‘less’. This is what I deserve, you think. The reason is that you don’t value yourself. You think that what you want is not important. Or that you are not worthy of getting what you need.
5. You feel dependent
In relationships it is normal to be somewhat dependent on each other. That is normal. But extreme dependence is not normal. If you feel like you cannot separate yourself from a partner who is not good for you, then you have a dependency problem .
“He may cheat every day, but… he is a good father.”
6. You speak well
You know your relationship isn’t perfect, but at least you don’t get hit with a stick every day? If you describe your relationship this way, you’re making everything right. This way you can justify everything even though you shouldn’t. Not against others and especially not against yourself.
ALSO READ: Is It Difficult to Share Feelings? These are 11 Tips to Express Your Emotions
7. You’re in your comfort zone
Getting out is scary. You think you can’t do it because you don’t know what will happen if you leave your comfort zone. You will soon be very unhappy if you continue alone . Or things get completely out of hand when you’re packing your bags. Your fear of the unknown prevents you from leaving your partner.
8. You hope things get better
Everyone tells you to fight for a relationship . It takes time and discipline to make it work, you are told. That’s why you hold on to the hope that things will get better, even though you know they never will.
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