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Think back to all your past relationships. While some relationships move faster than others, they all go through certain steps. Maybe you were serious before you met each other’s parents or you slept together from the beginning. There is no right way and there are no right steps, but there are common, or perhaps even better said, accepted, steps that all relationships go through.
Every relationship goes through different stages anyway; We collectively call this the ‘relationship timeline’. And although some couples linger longer in certain phases than others, hopefully there are some very nice steps ahead. We will discuss the different steps in the relationship timeline with you and hope that you cherish every step. Of course, when you and your partner are ready for it.
Relationship timeline
The steps are normally very automatic, very natural, but are an essential part of any relationship. However, you don’t want to stay in the same phase of a relationship for too long if you want to build a future together. As a couple you have to grow and want to change in order to make progress.
All relationships and relationship timelines obviously move at different speeds, but we’ve provided an overview of an average relationship timeline below. With this timeline you can determine for yourself how ‘fast’ things are going in your relationship compared to the average relationship. This relationship timeline is a general guideline for a healthy relationship and is not necessarily a manual.
1. Interest
This is the moment when you first notice that you want to know more about the other person. This can be via a dating app , but also in real life when you ask yourself the pressing question whether the other person is single. This is the moment you start to feel butterflies and feel-good vibes.
You don’t really know what is happening to you, because you don’t know what is about to happen and why exactly you feel it. But you know that you want to tune in to the other person in the near future. You want to get to know her or him and everything and everyone has to make way for that.
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2. The first date
You guys have a first date . You may have already flirted with the other person and you now know that you are open to getting to know each other better . It is also at this moment that a careful first assessment may already take place as to whether the other person is a potential partner or whether it is only interesting on a sexual level. Or maybe neither. Given the nature of the rest of this relationship timeline, we’ll assume for convenience that there is a mutual interest in getting to know each other better.
3. The first kiss
This can happen during the first date, of course, but also after the second or even the third date . The longer it is postponed, the more exciting it becomes. If it happens on the second or third date, this kiss can be very powerful. It is also the moment you will never forget, because whether you are 18 or 68, the symbolism of a first kiss remains the same; it is special for everyone, young and old.
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4. The first time
After the first kiss it’s time for some more excitement. When the first lovemaking takes place can depend on many factors such as your age, your comfort level and other preferences. There is nothing wrong with having sex on the first date or after marriage. It doesn’t matter when you decide to take this step, what matters is that you find yourself in the moment. But the first time sex is certainly just as remarkable as the first kiss.
5. Stay overnight
You two sleep together. The time and frequency of sleeping over depends on where you live, who you live with, and what your working or school hours are. Sleeping over no longer necessarily depends on the moments when you have sex and this ensures that you become even more intimate. Going to sleep together and waking up together is an important part of any stable relationship.
6. In a relationship
If you’ve completed the steps above, it might be time to make things official. Of course, not every relationship needs a label, but this can be a good time to have a good conversation . Are you going into the future together? Will this be for the long term? What are you both looking for? Making a relationship official can be done in many ways, from a Facebook update to introducing each other as your partner. Or you can of course officially ask the question: do you want to be my friend?
7. Meeting friends
Now that you’re officially together, it’s time to meet each other’s friends. Depending on how you met your partner, you may already know his or her friends. But this is when you start inviting each other on double dates or group outings. You may have already talked to your friends about your partner, but now they are actually meeting each other.
Meeting each other’s friends can really help you see a new side of your partner and continue the dating timeline. After all, you see how your best friends interact with your partner and vice versa. Now the true nature of your partner will emerge. Your friends have something to say about him or her and vice versa.
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8. Introductions to the parents
You will usually have been dating for a while before you meet each other’s parents . This of course changes with age. In high school or if you live with your parents, this is more likely to happen, and that’s okay. But in this case we are not talking about the moment of quickly saying hello and quickly moving on.
Introducing the parents usually takes place over a cup of coffee or a meal and you sit opposite each other to get to know each other better. Can you see yourself spending the holidays with these people? If you don’t have a close relationship with your parents, this moment may not come until much later, but it is a big step in the relationship regardless.
9. Things are starting to get serious
Quite some time has passed by now, a number of months or perhaps years. At this point you are talking about the future with the other, the shared future. You have probably already said that you love the other person and that you cannot live without your lover. If that person is not there, you miss him or her and that indicates that things are getting really serious now.
This is also the moment you start discussing whether you want children or marriage in the future. You are secretly looking forward to your old age, the day when you have a family together.
10. You’re talking about moving in together
You are also already talking about living together. However, this is not something you should rush. After all, living together means that you no longer have breaks from each other, breaks that you are used to when you lead a single life . This is also the time when the little annoyances arise and you start to see the mannerisms you didn’t see before.
Talking about it before you actually do it is an important step to ensure that this goes as smoothly as possible. Possibly renting or buying a home is also an important step and can increase the stress level even more.
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11. You’re moving in together
You’re going to live together! Not only are you making a big move emotionally and physically, but you’re also likely balancing finances, at least in some capacity. Living together requires a lot of trust and also requires the necessary compromises on both sides. If you are satisfied, then it seems that you will really have a future together. The way it looks now, you’ll still be together in 5, 10, or 20 years. You have passed another important test .
12. Getting engaged
Some people get engaged before moving in together. Others won’t want to get engaged at all. An engagement is a promise of marriage and your future life together. It also happens after you discuss your future together. What does marriage mean to you? How do you deal with the difficulties that may arise in the relationship? You are willing to promise each other eternal loyalty.
13. Getting married
If you’ve made it this far, then marriage is of course the next step after an engagement. Please note that a lot of things will come your way during the wedding. Working through this process together can therefore be exciting and even fun, but it also ensures that you are retested in your stress resistance.
Contrary to popular belief, not much changes from engagement to marriage. You still live together and share your life with someone else. You can now call your partner your husband or your wife and, if all goes well, you both wear a ring on your left hand. By the way, there are more and more people who do not decide to get married and that is also completely okay.
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14. Life afterward
This is when you live happily ever after. Because it is the longest phase of the relationship, it can again be quite a challenge, because there will be many significant moments in the relationship. Every relationship will come with ups and downs.
For now it is the last step of the relationship timeline, but don’t see it as the end. It is anything but the end, rather the beginning of so many beautiful things. No matter what happens, you’ve completed the relationship timeline and now the rest of your lives come together. And perhaps now is the time to think about expanding your family.
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