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If you’ve been in different relationships, you’ve probably noticed that you often go through the same kinds of stages. Each stage comes with its own ups and downs .
A relationship often starts with a deep crush, you forget everything around you and only have eyes for your new partner. You can’t keep your hands off each other. The end stage is often that you love your partner deeply and trust each other blindly. Almost all relationships grow this way in five different phases.
What are the pros and cons of each stage? How do you recognize them, what is so great about them? But also: what problems do you encounter and what can you do about them?
1. Attraction
Imagine you’ve been on a great first date. It seems like you are floating. Everything was perfect about that date. The conversations and of course the kiss when you said goodbye. You can hardly sleep and you can’t wait to see your date again. At this stage of the relationship, everything is great.
You love everything about each other. You can hardly believe that someone can be so perfect, because you don’t see a single flaw. This is the one for you, this relationship will 100% definitely work . You can already see your future together. This stage can last from several weeks to about a year.
This first phase of a relationship feels like you ‘re high on love. Just like with drugs, you can’t get enough of this cutie. Science can even explain this. When you are in love, your brain produces large amounts of dopamine. So your brain wants you to fall hard for this person. You only see the positive sides and that makes you think: “ This could be the one. ”
What’s good about this phase
The great thing about this phase is that you start all over again with someone. Getting to know a new person, discovering new things about each other. The wonderful hormones that course through your body feel like drugs. Being in love ensures that you can’t keep your hands off each other and the sex is frequent and great.
What to pay attention to
What you need to pay attention to in this initial phase is that you need to take it easy . Falling in love can make everything go at a fast pace, because you both think you have found the one. Don’t reveal everything about yourself yet, don’t tell your entire life story on the first date. The nice thing about a relationship is that you always discover new things about each other, so leave something to discover.
In this phase we of course show the best side of ourselves, but also make sure that you can be yourself. Don’t lie about anything and be open about your less good qualities. Don’t be too quick to express your feelings either. You may already feel like you’re falling hard for this person after the third date , but take your time expressing your feelings.
2. Struggle
In the second phase the relationship really begins. You can be completely yourself with your partner and you feel completely comfortable, but this does not automatically mean that the relationship will last. Most couples get to this stage and then make the decision to separate . The struggle usually happens after 6 months. After this six months, the first arguments occur and the rose-colored glasses slowly come off.
One or both of you may have questions about where exactly the relationship is going. Is this the one, do you both want the same thing? It’s completely normal and it’s always good to ask yourself these questions .
In the first months of a relationship you always pretend to be a little better than you are. You don’t burp or fart in the other person’s presence. As a woman you always wear make-up and as a man you also do your best to look good. But of course you can’t keep this up for years.
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What’s so good about this phase
This stage is perhaps the most difficult phase that people will go through in a relationship. It is a phase characterized by uncertainty. But if you get through it, you can get through anything together. Furthermore, you can also relax more and be yourself in this phase. The hormones of love no longer run through your body. You can eat and sleep normally again and not everything revolves around him anymore. Sex in this phase will also have an emotional aspect. If you really love someone, sex is an important way to feel connected.
What to pay attention to
In this phase of the relationship, everything is no longer about your partner as in the first phase. Your new crush is no longer your complete world and you will realize that you have a greater need to meet up with other people or do your own thing. This can deter the other person a bit if he or she is not yet in that phase. Remember that every healthy relationship needs two people and the stage of a relationship depends on both people.
3. Partnership
You have passed the most difficult phase. Congratulations! But you can’t sit back just yet. If you have been in a relationship with someone for a long time, you may start to feel too comfortable. You no longer make an effort for your appearance or you never do anything special for the other person. You’ve already won the prize, so why bother being extra nice? But if you love someone, you have to keep showing it. Because otherwise it will slip through your fingers.
Don’t take your partner for granted . You always have to keep working on a relationship. You also expect certain things in return. But when you really love someone, this doesn’t feel like real work. This phase actually never ends. You will always have to do your best to be a good partner for the other person.
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What’s so good about this phase
After the difficult struggle phase, it is nice to be in a comfortable relationship where everything goes well. You are both aware that you have to put effort and work into the relationship. It is also very nice to receive sweet gestures in return, such as a present or a spontaneous kiss.
What to pay attention to
People express love in different ways. This can sometimes clash. This way you can express this by making your favorite breakfast every morning. The other person shows this, for example, by giving you a nice expensive gift. Be open about what you like and how you prefer to receive and give love. This way you won’t have to deal with disappointment if the other person expects something different from you.
4. Commitment
At this stage we are talking about living together , getting engaged or getting married . You are both sure of each other and that you want to share life together. You know how to communicate with each other. You sometimes have arguments, but they can always be expressed. You know when you need time alone and you respect and accept each other.
What’s so good about this phase
It can be scary to officially commit to someone for the rest of your life. But it can also be an incredibly beautiful start to a new phase in your life. Whether you are getting married or starting a family together.
What to pay attention to
If you are going to live together or get married, you may think that you are in good hands with your partner. But these big commitments you make come with big changes. If you start living together, it can take some getting used to not having your own place anymore and then you really get to know your partner. The stress of a wedding can also lead to a lot of irritation and you can argue about the smallest details. Make sure these small frustrations don’t lead to big problems.
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5. True love
Real love: all films, books and songs are about it. What everyone wants to achieve. Not everyone arrives at this stage. You have survived all the highs and lows together, and you love each other very much. All obstacles have been overcome and doubts are unknown to you. Of course there are still discussions or arguments from time to time, but that is also part of a healthy relationship.
What’s so good about this phase
This stage is so nice because you can feel confident. This man is there when you wake up and when you go to bed. You can contact him for anything and you really are a team. There are also still new things to discover about each other.
What to pay attention to
Now that you are a team together, it is also important to set certain goals together or have a shared dream. It’s not just about you now. Especially if you are starting a family together, you are no longer priority number one.
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