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Every relationship moves at its own pace. Some people have a serious relationship within a few weeks, while for others it takes a lot longer. We are talking about many months or even years. A healthy relationship needs to move at the ‘right speed’.
Of course, this is personal and there are no rules for how quickly you should take certain steps in your relationship. The most important thing is that you both feel comfortable with how the relationship is developing. Sometimes it can be wise to take it slow , depending on the type of person you are. But sometimes it can be fast, if you are both ready for it.
There are several factors that determine the progression of a relationship. You want to build something that feels good and continues to work for the long term. But if you go too fast, you could just ruin it for the long run.
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5 signs to watch out for
There are a number of signs that can tell you that you are moving too fast in your relationship. If this is the case, we also give a number of tips to put the brakes on. Curious? Then read on.
1. You don’t have enough personal space
One of the first ways you can tell that your relationship is moving too fast is if you no longer have enough time for yourself. It is important to give each other space in a relationship. Doesn’t that happen? Then it is a bad omen.
Especially in a new relationship, it is very important that you are not always together and give each other space to do your own thing. If your partner constantly asks you where you are, what you are doing or you feel like they are blocking you, this is an important signal that the relationship is moving too fast.
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2. Your partner always asks you to come along
Another way you can tell that your relationship may be taking too big steps is if your partner asks you to always go everywhere with them. This is somewhat related to the first point, as it means you may not have enough time for yourself.
If it starts to feel a bit oppressive, it is important to talk to your partner about it. It is also very important to have time for yourself and to continue doing your own hobbies and activities, independently of each other.
3. Meeting each other’s families too soon
The third sign that your relationship is moving too fast is if you meet each other’s families before you are really ready. It is understandable that meeting someone’s parents and family is exciting, but if you are not ready, it is important to say so and postpone it for the future.
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4. Make big plans for the future
Planning a future together is not necessarily a bad thing. It can be important to find out about each other’s dreams and goals. However, it is important to ask yourself whether you are still comfortable making so many plans for the future. If you have just started dating and are already discussing where and when you will live together and how many children you want to have, you might want to slow down the relationship a bit.
5. You don’t feel comfortable with the situation
One of the biggest signs that your relationship may be moving too fast is if you no longer feel comfortable with how things are going. In a healthy relationship it is important that it does not feel oppressive, that you are given enough space and that you trust each other.
If you currently feel that things are going too fast for you and you no longer feel comfortable with how everything is going, it is important to indicate this. Always trust your gut feeling and let your partner know that you want to slow down the relationship a bit.
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Why it’s wise to take it easy
So there are a lot of signs that your relationship is moving too fast. Even if you are so in love and want to spend every moment of the day together, it can still be wise to take it a bit easier. There are a number of reasons not to go too fast, which we will discuss below.
1. You don’t know each other well enough yet
If you’ve just started dating, you’ll probably still have your rose-colored glasses on. You only see the positive qualities of your new crush. Your partner is sweet, caring, handsome and you have great conversations. This is of course wonderful, but it is still wise to keep in mind that there will also be things on which you may not completely agree. Before you change your whole life and start doing everything with this person, it is useful to get to know a little more about each other.
2. Less chance of being disappointed
You sometimes hear those unique stories where people got engaged within a few days. They knew that person was the one and wanted to share their lives with each other. This may of course have happened, but unfortunately this does not necessarily apply to you and your new love. Sometimes you may eventually discover that someone is not a good fit for you.
If you are dating quietly, it can be very easy to end the early relationship. If you have moved very quickly, are already living together and know each other’s families well, it is often much more difficult to break up. And this often ends in an on-again, off- again relationship .
3. You must remain yourself
An important tip is that you should not change your whole life for someone else. This is especially true for a new relationship. You have just met each other, so you do not have to stop your hobbies right away to invest all your time in this new relationship. It is also important to continue to see your friends and to continue with your daily activities.
If you suddenly only have eyes for your new love, you may miss a lot of the things that make you you. This can make you lose yourself, which will not benefit your relationship in the long run.
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3 tips to take it easy
The above reasons are some of the reasons why it can be important to take your relationship easy. But when you are in love, it can be quite difficult to take time for yourself. Below we give 3 tips to slow down your relationship.
1. Give each other enough space
If you want to build a relationship quietly, it is important to give each other enough space. No matter how much in love you are, make sure you continue to do your own things. For example, if you exercise every Wednesday and meet up with your friends on Saturday, it is good to continue doing this. Even if your new crush continues to reach out, sometimes it’s good to ignore this for a while and catch up later.
2. Discuss it with each other
Communication is one of the most important things in a relationship. This is of course true in a long-term relationship, but certainly also in a new relationship. If you feel that things are going too fast, it is wise to express this. This way, your new partner also knows where he or she stands and you can take this into account. For example, you can then make agreements about your boundaries and when you want to take certain steps in your relationship.
3. Get to know each other really well
The main goal of a young relationship is not to get married and have children, but to really get to know each other . This way you will find out whether you really want to continue together, or whether it is not quite a good fit.
Because if you only focus on getting a long-term relationship, you are likely to compromise on beliefs or goals just because you want a serious relationship . By starting slowly, having relaxed dates and talking about accessible topics, you can slowly get to know each other.
Once things start to get more serious, you can start talking about ‘later’. Then discuss what you expect from the relationship, what dreams and goals you have and how you want to approach this together.
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