Proposing on a Second Date: When and How Do You Do it?

You’re almost done with the first date, and it’s almost like you already know: this could be the one . The conversation flowed smoothly, your eyes met repeatedly, and there was even a hint of flirting and teasing – and not just from your side. It was going so well that you can hardly wait to see this person again. But now you’re wondering: when should you suggest a second date?

Do you imagine the second date when you’re both in a good mood and the conversation is at its peak? For example, when you’re both laughing at a funny anecdote or talking about your shared passion for peanut butter? Or do you propose after the date, so as not to put all your cards on the table right away? We’ll tell you more about it.

When to propose a second date?

There are all sorts of times when you can drop the idea of ​​a second date. Should you blurt it out on the first date, right after the first date, or is it better to let it sink in for a few days? There’s something to be said for each scenario, and there are pros and cons to each. Let’s go through all the options.

1. During the date

If the first date goes better than you could have imagined, it’s not at all crazy to start thinking about that second date. In the spirit of ‘strike while the iron is hot’, you can even make a proposal on that first date. The great thing about this is that you can immediately remove any doubts about your interest and feelings. If it’s mutual, this can really accelerate the relationship because you know the attraction is mutual.

However, there is a downside to this approach. You are laying all your cards on the table right away. Not everyone is ready to decide on a second date during the first date. The proposal can come as a surprise and put your date in a difficult position, especially if they are not ready to answer the question. Most people need some time to process the first date, and this usually happens after the date is over . So it is important to find the right timing and make sure you are both on the same page.

5 Creative Ways to Make the Proposal

Do you want to show during the date that you want to date more often? Or at least that you want more than this one date? You don’t have to ask right away. Avoid putting the other person in a difficult position by introducing it in a playful way:

• The Fortune Teller: While you’re talking about hobbies and interests, you can say, “I can already tell that the second date will be just as much fun.”
• The Bucket List: Everyone has a bucket list of things they want to do. Ask your date for their bucket list and then say, “Let’s fulfill one of these wishes together on our next date.”
• The Challenge: Challenge your date to something fun, like who can make the best pancakes. Then say, “Then we already know what our next date will be: a pancake contest.”
• The Compliment: Give a sincere compliment and add, “This is just the beginning of all the compliments I’m going to give you.”
• The Selfie: While you’re hiking or somewhere with a beautiful view, say, “This is a great spot for a photo. Let’s take a selfie to look back on on our next date.”

2. End of the date

You had a great time on the date, full of fun and fascination. But alas, as they say, all good things must come to an end, and that includes that fantastic first date . Now you’re sitting there wondering if the spark is mutual. Luckily, there’s an easy way to find out: why not propose that second date?

When you do that, you can immediately find out if the other person is as excited about you as you are about them. It’s like putting the final pieces of a puzzle together to see the big picture. You could say something like, “I really enjoyed tonight. We should do this again!”

Alternatives

• How would you like to meet up again sometime soon?
• I enjoyed our time together tonight. Would you like to repeat this sometime?
• Let’s continue the fun soon, what do you think?
• I’m looking forward to doing this again. Are you?
• Our evening was amazing, let’s plan something fun again soon!
• How about a sequel to this amazing date?
• I wonder when we can be together again.
• I can’t wait to spend more time with you. Would you like to meet up again?
• Should we continue this adventure soon? It was really fun!

Of course, there is always that little disadvantage that some people find it hard to say ‘no’ in a situation like that. But you know, sometimes it’s just good to be a little more direct. It takes away the doubts and that’s a lot nicer for everyone.

ALSO READ: 114 Best Date Ideas for First, Second and More Dates

3. On the date

One of the best times to bring up the idea of ​​a second date is right after your date. You’ve both just gotten home, and while you’re relaxing on the couch, you can reflect on what happened. It has its advantages: no one has to wait for days in suspense, and you save yourself valuable time by not waiting. The contact after that first date often has a big impact on how your relationship develops. It can make the difference between a broken connection and a glittering second date waiting for you.

Imagine yourself sitting on your couch at home, still basking in the afterglow of a great night. You pick up your phone and send a text: “I had a great time tonight, let’s get together again soon!” It’s like adding a spoonful of sugar to your coffee – making the memory of the date that just happened even sweeter.

Alternatives

• Our date was really great! I’m already looking forward to a sequel, you too?
• I had such a good time tonight, let’s do this again soon!
• The evening flew by, let’s meet again soon!
• I can’t stop smiling after our date. When can we meet again?
• Thank you for a fantastic evening, I hope we can plan something fun again soon!
• I have to admit, I’m already looking forward to our next meeting. When are you available?
• Our date was a real perfect! Let’s plan a follow up soon, what do you think?
• I really enjoyed getting to know you. Let’s meet again.
• I hope we can meet again soon because I can’t wait to see you again!

The great thing is that it gives you both the chance to know where you stand right away. No uncertainty, no long waiting times. If you still decide not to continue, it is easier for him or her to reject you. You will get the honest answer and not a yes answer out of politeness.

ALSO READ: Couples Have More in Common Than We Think’

4. A few days after the date

Do you often see on television that people wait days before proposing a next date? That may have been the norm in the past or something you only saw in romantic movies, but in practice it almost never happens. In the Netherlands, we are generally quite direct and do not wait endlessly after a first date to talk to each other again. That old-fashioned waiting rule that says you have to wait at least three days? Well, that is not really recommended. It can come across as if you are not interested or are playing a game.

Imagine this: after that great first date, you don’t even send a message. You don’t show that you’re genuinely excited to see the other person again. You don’t show anything in the days after. Only after three days do you contact them to say that you’re having fun. Strange, right? So don’t stick to these ‘rules’ and do what feels right for you. After all, it’s important to be honest about your feelings and intentions.

ALSO READ: Is He The One? Not If He Does These 25 Things

Waiting for the other person to suggest it

If you’re wondering how the date went and aren’t sure about suggesting a second date, don’t feel weird. It’s perfectly okay to not make the first suggestion and wait for the other person to make the move. Dating can be confusing and sometimes you just need a little more time to figure things out.

But remember, if the other person is also waiting, it can lead to a stalemate. If you both think the same and no one takes the initiative, the proposal for a second date may not happen. And let’s be honest, who wants to be in suspense for days?

Traditionally, it is often the man who proposes the second date, but ladies, you do not necessarily have to wait for that. If the contact does not diminish after that first date, there is a good chance that a second date is in the offing. The only question is: who dares to pop the question? Which choice suits you best is ultimately a personal decision. In any case, now you know what your options are.

ALSO READ: One-Sided Relationship? 22 Signs It’s Coming from One Side

6 Tips to Go from First to Second Date

The first date is a rollercoaster of nerves and excitement for many. It’s easy to make mistakes and ‘forget’ how to introduce yourself on that second date. If you want to make that transition smoothly, follow these handy tips to go from that first to second date.

1. Don’t tell everything

You don’t have to reveal your entire life story on that very first date. Keep it exciting by not telling everything about yourself . Listen attentively to your date and show genuine interest. You can reveal additional information about yourself later, on a second date.

2. Refer to the future

In the conversation, you can already drop hints about possible second date ideas that fit your interests. For example, if you both love sushi, you can suggest trying a sushi restaurant together. If the conversation flows well and you feel the vibe, don’t hesitate to suggest that second date.

3. Don’t make it too long

If you are convinced that a second date is in the offing, you don’t have to drag out the first date endlessly. It is smarter to keep the date short and interesting than to overload it with too much information. This way you keep curiosity aroused, and you prevent the other person from thinking the date is taking too long .

4. Assume a positive outcome

If you want that first date to lead to a second, act like it’s already a certainty. Show that you have faith in the future, because positivity is contagious. It’s like yawning – if one person starts, the rest will quickly follow.

5. Don’t wait too long with your message

Did the first date go well ? Don’t wait too long to send a message to let her know how great you thought it was. Preferably not too late in the evening after you get home. A simple message letting her know you enjoyed it and thanking her for the great time is enough. Say that you look forward to meeting her again.

ALSO READ: 35 Playful Dates to Keep Your Relationship Alive

6. Make concrete plans

If you haven’t set a specific date, time, and location for that second date, do so as soon as possible. Avoid vague suggestions, as they will only lead to confusion. Set a specific date, time, and meeting place for your second date. For example, don’t say, “Let’s grab a drink next week,” but rather, “Let’s meet up at that cozy café around the corner this Friday at 8 p.m.”

Suggesting a second date can sometimes be quite a challenge. That’s because there are often a lot of thoughts and feelings going through your head at this stage of the dating process. The nervous excitement of the first date may still be there. You’re wondering, “Did I make a good impression? Does he like me ? Is she even interested in me ?” That uncertainty can make it hard to take the step to that second date.

Then there’s always the fear of rejection. What if the other person isn’t interested in meeting again? The thought of hearing “no” can be quite daunting. Sometimes you’re just afraid of overdoing it. You don’t want to seem too pushy by talking about a second date right after the first date. Balancing genuine, enthusiastic interest with maintaining a healthy distance can be a real challenge.

But you know, despite these obstacles, proposing a second date is also a chance to show yourself as a confident and enthusiastic partner. So why not just put that fear aside and go for that second date? After all, you never know where it might lead you.

P.S. Are you already following Gistinger.com on Facebook , Instagram and Twitter?