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Online dating is undoubtedly a game changer in modern romance. Whether you are looking for love, friendship or just an interesting connection, online dating has it all. Thanks in part to dating apps, the internet has become a place where people find love, exchange ideas and even make new friends. But the experiences are not all positive.
While some people have success stories and find their soul mates, others have to deal with the dark side of online dating. Dating apps can be a great way to meet new people , but at the same time, it should be approached with care and caution. In other words, it is both a source of opportunity and challenge. And that is reflected in the research on online dating experiences.
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Mixed experiences
A Radar Test Panel survey among over 3,500 people with experience in the online dating market shows that 41 percent of participants have found a relationship through online dating. Although many people have positive experiences, there are also negative aspects. About a quarter of participants have stopped because of fake profiles and transgressive behavior, such as inappropriate responses and dick pics .
Many users complain about fake profiles, ranging from fairly innocent attempts to arrange a date for grandma to so-called American soldiers working in Africa. There are also complaints about the manipulation of offers by the dating sites and apps themselves. People also complain about the lack of relevant matches and the difficulty of canceling an account . Privacy concerns are a major concern for almost half of the participants.
Emma (28)
“Unfortunately, I can’t recommend online dating based on my own experiences. I’ve been disappointed time and time again and it’s really damaged my self-confidence. I was hoping to find a serious relationship, but instead I found a lot of men who were just looking for a date. They played games, gave mixed signals and ultimately left me hanging. It felt like I was stuck in a never-ending cycle of disappointment. After months of frustrated swiping, I decided to leave online dating behind and focus on other ways of meeting people. It just wasn’t working for me.” – to our inbox.
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Experiences of people over 50
A survey among the MAX opinion panel, which mainly consists of people over 50, shows that half of those who have tried online have successfully found a relationship. However, there are also dangers, including dating fraud. For example, English-speaking men with suspicious intentions have approached the panel members on the apps. As many as 70% of the panel members have had an unpleasant experience on a dating platform, but most of them feel safe.
For these 50-plussers, a critical eye is important when it comes to online dating. Some panel members have had successful relationships, while others have encountered oddballs. There are also positive stories, such as Linda (54), who met her boyfriend on a dating platform and is in a long-distance relationship.
Linda (54)
“As a 50+ who recently started online dating, I can honestly say it was an eye-opener! After a few months on a dating app, I found my drinking buddy. We share the same interests, and I can honestly say I fell in love with someone I would never have met otherwise. Online dating has changed my life in ways I never expected. I would recommend it to anyone, but stay alert and use your common sense!” – to our inbox.
Positive, negative and neutral
In general, we can say that people have positive, neutral and negative experiences with dating, as shown by recent research . The experiences vary greatly from person to person, depending on your mindset, expectations, previous experiences and who you meet on the apps.
Why do some people have positive experiences with online dating, while others have a neutral or even negative opinion? The answer to this question is complex and depends on several factors. So let’s take a look at the possible reasons behind these differences.
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Positive experiences
For some people, online dating can be a great experience because it gives them the opportunity to meet people they might not otherwise meet in real life. In other words, it increases their dating pool and opens the door to a larger number of potential partners. More potential partners means more chances of finding someone who is a good fit for you.
Those with positive experiences usually have a positive and open mindset when it comes to dating. They approach it with an optimistic attitude and see every meeting as an opportunity to meet new people. At least to gain nice experiences. They take the time to have interesting conversations , see it partly as a pastime and entertainment, and have patience in finding a serious connection.
Another factor that can contribute to positive experiences is the possibility to share common interests with potential partners. If you know yourself well and know what you want, you are able to search more specifically for people with whom you can have a real click.
Lisa (42)
“Online dating has given my self-confidence a huge boost! After a painful divorce, I felt insecure about everything. Nevertheless, I decided to give it a try and overcome my fears. I met Stefan, a man with a great sense of humor. He immediately put me at ease and made me realize that I was still wanted. In the end, it didn’t work out between us, but he made me believe in myself again.” – in our inbox.
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Neutral experiences
For some people, online dating can be a more neutral experience. This may have to do with the expectations you have when using dating apps. Do you expect to find the love of your life quickly? Or a one-night stand within a few days? Then you may find that it takes more time and that it is not as easy as it seems.
Neutral experiences can also be the result of the limitations of online communication. Some people find it difficult to experience a deeper connection via messages or chat, for example if you prefer face-to-face conversations to really get a feel for someone. You can also have a neutral experience if you are not necessarily looking for a long-term relationship and offline meetings, but still want to talk to people.
Max (35)
“My experience with online dating has been a bit mixed. On the one hand, I find it a great way to meet new people and have interesting conversations. I’ve had some great dates and some funny stories. On the other hand, there have been times when I feel hopeless because of all the superficial conversations I’m having. It sometimes feels like I’m repeating myself. I think online dating works for some people, but for someone with my looks, it’s not so great.” – to our inbox.
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Negative experiences
For others, online dating can be a very negative experience. This can happen for a number of reasons. A common problem is that some people on dating apps are not genuine and pretend to be someone they are not. For example, they pretend to want a relationship but then drop out as soon as it gets serious. Or they don’t look like the pictures. Such experiences can lead to disappointment and frustration for those who are looking for a genuine connection.
The negative experiences can also arise from the feeling of overwhelm and choice stress . The large number of profiles and options seems attractive, but in reality it only makes the choice more difficult. With more choice you make fewer choices. Recent trends also show that this can lead to date fatigue , also known as dating burnout .
Martin (25)
“I’ve been pretty disappointed with dating apps. They seemed like a promising way to meet new people. But I’ve noticed that a lot of people are just fixated on your appearance. If your photo doesn’t meet their expectations, you’re ignored. I feel like I’ve been reduced to a profile picture and my personality and interests don’t matter. I’m looking for a committed relationship, but dating apps have made me feel like I’m unsuitable. I’m done with it.” – to our inbox.
Although online dating offers many possibilities, it does not always lead to a positive experience. From the responses we have received, we can say that opinions about online dating are divided. How you experience online dating really differs per person.
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