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You’ve finally managed to get someone on a date. And not just any date: it’s your first date . But you also know that it won’t be easy, because arranging the date is just the beginning. The date itself is a whole different story.
Talking to one person all night? Someone you’ve never met before? And keeping the conversation going? You’re not the only one who gets the creeps.
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Never been on a date before?
If you’ve never been on a date before, you don’t know what to expect. You may wonder what exactly happens on a date, what you should do, how to prepare, and how to behave. While it may be tempting to cancel the date, it’s good to know that everyone has these questions when planning their very first date.
If you’ve been asked out on a date but have never been on one before, these tips can help you understand what a date is all about. It can be one of the scariest things to do, but it’s a lot easier if you have an idea of what to expect beforehand.
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10 things to expect
If you’ve never been on a date before, you might regret agreeing to one. “What have I gotten myself into?” you think, because you have no idea what to expect. To help ease your worries, we’ve put together ten things to keep in mind.
1. It will be awkward (for a moment)
If you’ve never dated before, your worries are mostly focused on one thing: that it’s going to be awkward. And it will be, because you’re meeting someone you don’t know yet. It’s normal for the start of a first date to be a little awkward , but it happens to everyone. You’re not the only one feeling this way, your date feels the same way.
So don’t worry about how awkward it will be. In reality, a date is often less awkward than people think, mainly because it’s a shared experience.
- Do not hurry
- Don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable
- Put your phone on silent
2. You start a conversation
A conversation between you and your date is central to the date. That is why most dates take place in a place where a quiet conversation can be held. Starting a conversation with someone new to you can be a bit tricky. Think back to the conversations you have had online to fall back on these topics during the date.
If you’re having trouble keeping a conversation going, make sure you’ve thought of plenty of questions to ask. It doesn’t hurt to be prepared. Make a little list of topics you want to discuss ahead of time, whether it’s a shared interest or general topics like Netflix shows and sports. Here are some questions to get you started:
3. Nervousness
First dates are incredibly exciting. So expect to be nervous . And not just you: your date will probably be just as nervous as you are. But just like you, your date will also try not to show it. It’s part of the charm of dating, because it makes you vulnerable. Nerves can also make you say things you’d rather not say, but that’s part of the dating game. Keep in mind that the nerves will subside after a few laughs and once you’re talking to each other.
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4. There is a purpose
Most people date with a purpose. The date itself is not the goal, but a means to that goal. What is your goal for the date? Do you want to assess your date partner as a potential love partner? Do you actually not want a steady partner, but do you want company for an evening? Or a friend with benefits ? If you know what the purpose of the date is, then you can focus on that goal. And you can also find out on the date whether the goal of your date partner matches yours. In other words: a date is also meant to find agreement in intentions.
5. It doesn’t take too long
It is a golden rule not to let a first date last too long. Count on an hour or two, maybe a bit more if you are going out for dinner. Of course, this also depends on what exactly you are going to do on the date and what date idea you have come up with. Some people need some time to acclimatize, so give your date at least an hour to express themselves properly.
6. It is a review
A date is meant to judge another. See yourself as the one-man jury that uses the date to judge another. Is this someone you want to grow old with? What qualities and characteristics does your conversation partner have? Could this be a good partner? Subconsciously and consciously you use a first date to assess what someone is like and what this person can mean to you.
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7. It can get intimate
It is customary that a successful date ends with a kiss. But that kiss is optional and certainly not mandatory – not even if it was a successful date . The possible moment for a kiss is after the date and when both give signals that they want to kiss. If you don’t want to kiss, then say goodbye verbally, extend a hand or give a hug. On the other hand, if a kiss is not enough for you, you can get even more intimate.
8. It can be dangerous
Safety first. This also applies to dating. While most dates involve some form of safety, there are exceptions where there can be a dangerous situation. Think about your dating safety by choosing a safe location, researching the person you are meeting with, and looking out for red flags while dating . It is also important to check in with yourself during the date and ask yourself how you are feeling.
9. A second date
If the date goes well, the possibility of a second date may arise. Either you suggest it or the other person does. If you are having a good time, be open to the idea of getting to know the other person better on a second date. However, if your gut tells you it’s not going to work out, don’t give false hope. Don’t answer the question and come back to it later via text.
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10. Don’t expect too much
Where many people go wrong is this. They set up a date with someone they met on a dating app. They hit it off right away, the conversations were effortless, and the photos were just as amazing. As a result, they start expecting a lot from their date. However, on the date, they find out that the photos are ‘slightly’ edited, and in real life, the conversations are completely different. As a result, they are disappointed with the entire experience.
To prevent this, it is important not to expect too much from a first date. Because it is an exciting experience, no one can really be themselves. And because it is a snapshot, that does not necessarily mean that every conversation between you will go like that. Finally, it is also important to remember that it is only a first date. Expect little from it, then it will never disappoint.
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