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You’re sitting on the edge of your bed, staring at your closet, feeling the nerves in your stomach. The first date is coming up, and you can’t help but wonder, “What if he or she doesn’t like me?” You nervously tap your phone, while your friends reassure you with well-meaning advice. But still, the knot in your stomach remains.
As the clock ticks relentlessly, you grab your reflection in the mirror and wonder if you look good enough. ‘Am I good enough?’ The doubts race through your mind as you wonder what to say and whether you will live up to all expectations. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions, and deep down you know this is not a healthy tension. How can you prevent or reduce this tension?
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12 Tips for Dating Tension
Are you planning your very first date soon, but are you already starting to worry? Don’t worry, that’s perfectly normal. Everyone has some nerves before that first meeting. But let’s be honest, why drive yourself crazy? Here are a few tips to tame those nerves and go into the date with confidence .
1. Relax
Relax, it’s just a date. Not an interview for your dream job. It’s just a chance to chat with someone you like. There’s no point in worrying about what to wear, what to say, or what the other person will think of you. Relax and try to put it into perspective. You’ll only make things worse. Remember, a date is just two people getting to know each other.
2. Choose a familiar place
A familiar location can help calm your nerves. Think of a café or restaurant you’ve been to before. Knowing the area will put you at ease and help you focus on your date. If you’d rather not run into people you know, it’s smart to choose a place where you feel comfortable and aren’t likely to bump into anyone.
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3. Practice makes perfect
If you’re already nervous about the thought of a first date , why not practice a little more? Try it out with a friend. Arrange to meet in a public place and pretend it’s a date. That way, you’ll know what to expect and get more comfortable with the idea of dating. The more experience you gain, the less nervous you’ll be on a real date.
4. Prepare yourself
Preparation is half the battle. Think of topics to talk about in advance. If you don’t know much about your date’s hobbies or interests, ask them. Preparation will prevent awkward silences and give you more confidence. We’ve even put together a handy list of questions you can use on your first date.
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5. Do a short meditation
A short meditation before your date can do wonders. Close your eyes, breathe in and out calmly, and visualize a quiet place where you feel comfortable. It will help you calm your nerves and go into your date with a clear mind.
6. Dress comfortably
There is nothing worse than feeling uncomfortable in your clothes on a date. So choose something that makes you feel confident and comfortable. When you feel comfortable in what you are wearing, you will radiate that, and that can reduce the nerves. It also helps a lot if you have already picked out your clothes well in advance, so that you do not have to look for something last minute
7. Be on time
One of the best ways to reduce your nerves is to arrive on time. It gives you a chance to slow down, acclimatize and prepare for the meeting. It also prevents you from getting into a stressful situation by rushing.
8. Think positive
Your thoughts have a powerful effect on your state of mind. So before you leave the house, remind yourself that you are an amazing person, that you are worth it, and that this date is a chance to get to know someone. Positive thoughts can help to dispel the nerves.
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9. Keep your expectations realistic
It’s important to have realistic expectations for your date. Don’t expect to meet the love of your life right away. Just go in with an open mind and see where the conversation takes you. It will help you feel less pressured and enjoy the moment more.
10. Focus on the moment
Leave those bad dates of the past behind you and enjoy the here and now. If you have had previous dates where your nerves got the better of you, let it go. Thinking back on those moments will only bring up negative thoughts. Focus on the date itself and enjoy every moment.
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11. Avoid too much alcohol
While a drink on a date is perfectly normal, too much alcohol can heighten your nerves and cloud your judgment. Moderation is key. Enjoy your drink, but remember that a clear mind will help you be more yourself.
12. Accept it
If you know that you ’re going to be nervous , accept it. It’s part of the deal, and that’s okay. Are you worried about being shy on the date? That’s okay too. If the other person likes you, that shyness will be cute rather than annoying. Once you accept your own nerves, you’ll notice that they’ll naturally subside and you’ll be less tense on the date. It’s part of the deal, and that’s okay.
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