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Dating can be fun and exciting sometimes, but it can also be very tiring. You are endlessly swiping profiles on dating apps . You have many dates with different singles. You keep trying. But it is never quite right. Frustrated and completely done with dating? Try mindful dating .
Don’t be alarmed, mindful dating may sound vague. But it is a lot less vague than it is. You don’t have to meditate to find the perfect partner. And you don’t have to breathe in and out several times a day. By becoming aware of your own desires and wishes in a partner, you can search more specifically and more consciously for what you need and want.
Wat is mindful dating?
Mindful dating is knowing what you want, making an effort to meet that person and not settling for less. If you swipe left and right day after day, without paying attention, and judge people in a second , then you already know that it can be better. Search more specifically, more consciously and start with what you find important in a partner.
Someone who is loyal, creative and social? An athletic appearance, a fanatic sportsman and foodie? What are you really looking for and what qualities can’t be missed? By knowing exactly what you want, you can date more specifically.
ALSO READ: 114 Best Date Ideas for First, Second and More Dates
How do you do mindful dating?
Be proactive and take initiative. Immerse yourself in the people and put effort into the conversations. Does he not meet your needs? Do not settle for less. But how exactly do you do that mindful dating? These are 12 ways to date consciously.
1. Be open
Have you never had any success dating in the past? Maybe you should take a look at your types. Do you always fall hard for that gym-loving careerist? But have those relationships always failed? Then open yourself up to other types that you normally wouldn’t date. Or go for someone who is the complete opposite of you. Either way, it will be an interesting date.
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2. Know what you are looking for
What are the qualities your perfect partner should have? A family person, a creative person, an intellectual, a go-getter? What qualities do you look for in a partner? You can even make a list, because it helps to write it down on paper (or in your note app).
3. Stay true to your own standards and values
Never change your values for someone you date. Never let yourself be pushed into something you don’t really want. For example, do you have a rule that you never kiss on the first date or don’t have sex until the third date ? Then don’t do it: stay true to yourself.
4. Go to places where you can find your perfect partner
The type that fits your profile, where can you find him? An intelligent man? A culture vulture? A social extrovert? Go to places where you can find these men. Go to the best club in town if you are looking for a social dancer. Go to a film club, to meet someone who loves good movies as much as you do. You get the idea: get out of your comfort zone.
5. Don’t wait for the perfect candidate
Are you waiting for that perfect man or woman? That Prince Charming who will make you complete? Or that beautiful woman who will tick off everything on your wish list? Continuing to hope for a candidate without flaws can make your search for a partner very difficult.
If only it were that easy, but unfortunately that perfect candidate does not exist. You do not live in a fairy tale, so that prince(ss) on the white horse will not just blow in. If you want to date mindfully, you will have to be proactive and take initiative.
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6. Don’t cling to an ideal
Looking for a man of 1.90m with black hair, green eyes and a muscular body? Or an intelligent woman who has been Miss and can also cook well? Unfortunately, that is not how it works in the real world: ideals are often unattainable. So be open to other types and do not stick to that one ideal image. That blond man of 1.70m or that untrained beautician could surprise you.
7. Give someone you’re not entirely sure about a chance
If you are demanding, you will miss out on a lot of great candidates. There is a difference between knowing what you want and having too many demands. Is that person not quite what you are looking for in terms of looks? Or are their messages not appealing to you? Don’t write someone off right away. Why not go on a date and get to know them better?
8. Have fun dating
Do you hate those awkward conversations on a dating app? Or do you hate singles events ? Then don’t do it either. If certain things in the dating world don’t suit you, don’t change yourself. Dating should be fun. The most important thing should be that you enjoy yourself. There’s no point in worrying, forcing something or having too high expectations.
9. Use dating apps, but mindfully
Dating websites and apps are great platforms to meet new people. But don’t constantly switch to mindless swiping . Swiping can be very addictive . The chance that you will get in touch with someone you really click with is quite small. You can keep looking around on different dating websites or apps, but don’t use it as the only source to meet singles.
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10. Take a break from dating
If you keep swiping endlessly on dating apps, it can be very tiring. It can also be very frustrating and because of this you can give up hope for love. But being single does not mean that you have to constantly look for a partner. Enjoy the single life, your time alone and make a list of what exactly you are looking for in a man who would be an addition to your life. Dating is always possible: no worries .
11. Realize that a relationship won’t make you happy overnight
No one can make you happy, only yourself. Finding a partner should not be a priority. Being in a relationship will not make you happy and whole overnight. Your own happiness comes from yourself, your family, friends, work or other hobbies and interests. Your life happiness consists of more than just a life partner, understand that well.
ALSO READ: 35 Playful Dates to Keep Your Relationship Alive
12. Don’t settle for someone too quickly
Have you perhaps already given up hope of finding the love of your life ? Are you starting to feel a little desperate? It is the situation where you might consider settling for someone who is not quite right for you.
Are there little things that irritate you now ? They will not go away in the long run. Are you not as in love as you had hoped? This feeling will not suddenly grow later. If someone is not a good fit for you, then it is good to pass on it.
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