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At first you think you might be paranoid, so you try to ignore the signals. Soon you have to admit that it is not your imagination and that your man is really withdrawing more and more from you. He is short, less cheerful, has no desire to do things , in short, he is distant.
And then the panic sets in. What happened? Did I do something wrong? Is he losing interest in me? Is he going to break up with me? Why is he pulling away and how can I even get him back? These are all questions that are playing on your mind and you don’t want to put pressure on him. If you do, you might make it worse, or so you think.
At the same time, you want to know where you stand. To help you deal with this situation, we have a number of explanations for you that can explain his behavior, as well as several tips for you. Use them to your advantage.
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3 Reasons Why He’s Distant
There are several reasons why a man might withdraw and act distant, and we’ll go through the most obvious ones. The hope is that it doesn’t always have to be your fault. We’ll explain.
1. He’s stressed about completely different things
This is usually the most likely cause. Men simply deal with stress and difficulties differently than women. While women prefer to seek out those closest to them to talk about it and even cry together, men prefer to solve things internally. After all, he does not want to be seen as weak and incompetent, especially not in front of a woman he cares about.
The reasons can vary. Maybe he is struggling at work, has financial problems, family problems or even emotional problems. Whatever the reason, it can temporarily take a lot of his emotional capacity and cause him to become distant towards you.
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2. He is insecure about the relationship
Doubts are a part of almost every relationship. While no one likes to have doubts, sometimes we just can’t avoid them. Sometimes a guy pulls away because he’s not sure if he wants to keep dating you. It could be you, it could be him, or it could be the chemistry between the two of you . Either way, he’s started to have doubts about whether or not he wants to grow old with you.
3. It’s all going too fast
Sometimes meetings start off very explosively. You meet, you click really well and then you spend almost every second together. When it gets too intense, it is normal for a man to want to withdraw a little and recover. He also has his friends, family, hobbies and other activities that he wants to do on his own.
It can take some getting used to for him and you shouldn’t hold that against him. Boys will be boys . Sometimes it takes a bit of slowing down to see how much he likes being with you.
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5 things you should not do
If your guy becomes distant, there are two possible scenarios. Either you are accommodating and make sure he eventually approaches you again, or you make it worse and escalate things. Therefore, definitely do not:
1. Imposing
What did I do? Why didn’t you text me back? Why won’t you talk to me? When a guy is stressed, he doesn’t want to be subjected to a whole round of questions. Ask one question, maybe two, but try to sense if he’s ready to talk about it or if you need to build up slowly.
2. Becoming obsessive
Stressing too much about your relationship is what ruins a relationship . It feels like you are being loving because at least you are caring about your future, but it is counterproductive. Worrying is okay, but don’t become obsessive.
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3. Provoke
He is distant, so you will teach him how to approach you again. You may think that it helps to make him jealous and to provoke him with other men in the nightlife. But once he has a wrong image of you, it can do much more damage.
4. To make you spin
Chances are it’s not about you at all, so stop seeing yourself as the problem until you know for sure that you are the problem.
5. Want to solve his problems for him
Men need to feel competent and strong. If you try to solve things for him, he will feel bad because you think he can’t do it alone. Try to intervene only if he asks for your help. Otherwise, let him solve his own problems.
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5 things you should do
Fortunately, there are also a number of things that you should do at times when there is more distance between you. For example, we recommend the following 5 things:
1. Take a step back
If a man needs space, give him space. We know you probably don’t want that, and we know you want him to get closer, but this isn’t about you. It’s about his feelings and what he needs. The best thing you can do is respect his needs. This is the sign of emotional maturity , and when you’re able to do this, he’ll love and appreciate you even more.
2. Take time for yourself
It’s easy to get lost in a relationship. Now that you have some space, use it to your advantage by focusing on yourself and reconnecting with yourself. Did you let go of a hobby? Miss a good friend or owe your family a visit? Now is the time to make the most of the extra time and space.
3. Be there for him
Try to be supportive. We know it’s hard to support someone when you’re hurting and confused yourself, but it’s so important to be there for them. Let them know you’re there if they need you.
4. Stay happy
Don’t let your negative emotions get the best of you. We know you’re worried and insecure, but those are coming from thoughts you have about his, not necessarily what he’s doing. Spend time with friends and do things you enjoy. People are drawn to positive energy. If you radiate that energy, he’ll come back to you even faster.
5. Stay optimistic
If you are anxious and tense, he will feel it too. Try as best as you can to just be cool and calm. Try to show your loving, caring side in a natural way, so that he feels good around you. Optimism is the best remedy, even in the most pessimistic moments.
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