Lonely in Your Relationship? Why is This and What You Can Do About it?

When you just get into a relationship, everything is new, fun and cozy. This period seems to come very easily to couples in the beginning, especially because at that time they do not yet see the relationship as a challenge. Everything happens quite naturally when two people are in love with each other.

But over time, things can get a bit more difficult and there is a chance that two partners ‘lose’ each other in the relationship. This can cause a lot of loneliness . And because no one wants to be lonely in their relationship, we are going to tell you how this can happen and especially what you can do about it.

How do you get lonely in your relationship?

You probably don’t notice it at first, when you and your partner start to lose sight of each other. In addition to the relationship, you probably both have a study, job or various hobbies and therefore you do not always see each other often.

When you live together you may see each other getting up and going to bed, but that is not enough. And although it is necessary for both of you to have your own life outside of the relationship, you must continue to make an effort for each other. That’s where things often go wrong in relationships. Partners are so busy with themselves that they somewhat forget about the other – and therefore about being together.

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When partners grow apart

Because you start to forget each other and don’t give each other enough attention and time, it can lead to your lives becoming too different from each other. If neither of you intervenes in time, it will eventually lead to you both leading such different lives that you grow apart . This happens regularly and that is a great shame.

Of course you have to keep paying attention to your own life and who you are and want to be, that goes for your partner as well. But if you are such a good team together, make sure you grow together in the same direction. Otherwise you will lose each other.

Relationship problems as a cause of loneliness

Every house has its cross. That proverb exists for a reason. No relationship and no family is perfect, because everyone faces their own pitfalls. Personal pitfalls, but also shared pitfalls when you are in a relationship.

Relationship problems that are not spoken out and resolved can make you feel very lonely in a relationship. Where you used to be a strong team, now you both seem to be on your own. Combine this with emotional neglect by your partner and it becomes a vicious circle.

And that’s not how a relationship should be. Forgiving and forgetting is sometimes very difficult, but it is necessary to move forward together.

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When it leads to a breakup?

No matter what the reason is for you or your partner to feel lonely in a relationship, it should be prevented from leading to a breakup. After all, such a break is – if all goes well – not what you want. If you believe that you can still be happy together, then decide together to work on it and give it one hundred percent.

And can the relationship unfortunately no longer be saved ? Dare to be honest about that. Not only to each other, but especially to yourself. If you think you would be happier without the relationship, then it might be time to say goodbye .

How then can you achieve a good balance?

If you want to make sure that neither of you feels lonely in a relationship or that the existing loneliness is finally resolved, it is important that you find a way to achieve balance.

That means you need to start talking, because as we all know, communication is the most important thing in a relationship. When there is no talking, problems and feelings cannot be expressed and your partner does not know what is going on in your head. And of course this also applies the other way around.

Therefore, agree with each other to have one or more good conversations and take the time to do so. Let each other finish talking and have respect for what the other says.

Want ‘communication is key’

It’s not what people want to hear, but it’s the truth. When you agree to talk to your partner, you should keep a few things in mind:

• Talking is not easy, so respect each other’s words and opinions;
• Talk from your feelings, so that you show how you feel instead of accusing your partner of something;
• Don’t just complain, but also think about possible solutions;
• Know that things can’t just go your way, so compromises will have to be made;
• Agree together that it is not you and your partner against each other, but you together against the problem.

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What else you can do to solve the loneliness

Once you’ve had a good conversation – or not so good a conversation, try again later – it’s time for the next step. Both think carefully about what you expect from each other and make agreements about that.

For example, you can agree to set aside a whole day for each other one or two days a month. On those day(s) you can do fun things together and as a result you will automatically grow closer together.

Also keep your humor in the relationship and the little things that made you so crazy about each other in the beginning. On these days, leave the things that sometimes make you crazy about each other as much as possible.

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Loneliness is a feeling, not a lifestyle

Try not to blame your partner or the relationship for your loneliness. You may have gotten those feelings, but in fact, no one else is responsible for them. You are responsible for your own feelings.

Know that you are also the only one who can solve those feelings of loneliness and sadness. It would be nice if your relationship would improve, but you can also think of other ways to feel less lonely.

This way you can do fun things with the people around you and make sure you feel entertained and loved in other ways. And try to step out of the victim role (if you are in one), because that really won’t make you any better.

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