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Yes, it is much easier to share abstract information and thoughts than your deepest feelings. Both women and men can have difficulty expressing feelings, but male partners usually have a much more difficult time with emotional communication. After all, sharing your feelings requires courage and the daring to take emotional risks, because it exposes you to the other person and can therefore make you vulnerable. However, expressing your feelings is also exactly what creates closeness and connection in your relationship.
And that is reason to make this article a lot more in depth. As you have come to expect from us, we discuss both light and heavy themes and, in our opinion, this topic falls somewhere in between. Knowing how to express your feelings is the key to an emotionally satisfying relationship. Opening up and being vulnerable in the relationship creates intimacy .
Good communication also means that you can express yourself when you feel emotions that are uncomfortable, such as sadness, disappointment or anger. Being able to share your feelings with your partner is something that is not easy for everyone. But with some time and a little effort, it is possible for everyone. If you have more difficulty exposing yourself when it comes to emotions, we have eleven tips for you to make it a little easier.
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Why talk about your feelings?
It’s no secret that the basis of a healthy relationship is always open and clear communication and the willingness to look for a solution that works for both parties. If you want to achieve that in the relationship, you both have to be willing to share your feelings and thoughts.
No, no one expects you to be an expert in emotional communication, but here too we are talking about sending and receiving, talking and listening. We can all develop the ability to express emotions in a healthy way to others if we commit ourselves to it. Sharing your feelings and encouraging your partner to do the same has numerous benefits for the success and sustainability of the relationship .
Important for both men and women
Both women and men may shy away from sharing their feelings or simply think they are bad at expressing emotions. However, studies show that there is a slight difference between men and women in terms of emotional expression , especially for positive emotions. Regardless of who in the relationship has difficulty expressing thoughts verbally, this topic needs to be addressed by both. Otherwise, a lack of intimacy and a feeling of disconnection can occur between the two of you and can affect relationship satisfaction.
Only when you share your feelings, thoughts and emotions will you allow the other person to really get to know you and discover more about the things you care about and what is important to you. While being vulnerable and open-minded comes with some emotional risk, the rewards you get in the long run are well worth it.
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Benefits of expressing your emotions
Which brings us to some of the benefits of sharing your feelings. It’s not always easy to share your true feelings with someone, especially if you haven’t done so before. But knowing how being honest about your feelings benefits the well-being of the relationship can change your thoughts. The benefits of expressing your emotions broadly boil down to the following.
- It helps your partner understand you better.
- Have more meaningful conversations.
- Resulting in increased intimacy and a stronger bond.
- Prevents escalation of disputes and problems.
- Provides improved trust and more empathy.
- Prevents the build-up of resentment.
- Leads to recognizing one’s boundaries and respecting those boundaries.
- Reduce suffering and awkward moments.
- Less intense emotions and more effective emotion management.
- Less aggression.
- Preventing negative conclusions from partner about self-esteem.
“I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, enjoy them and dominate them.” –Oscar Wilde
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11 tips to express your emotions
While you probably recognize that healthy emotional expression is important at all times in the relationship, it’s not always clear exactly how to bring this up or where exactly to start. Fortunately, there are many ways to facilitate healthy emotional expression. We are therefore happy to help you with eleven tips to express your emotions:
1. Use positive self-talk
We all have an inner dialogue going on in our heads, which can sometimes be negative and even counterproductive in nature. If you have a negative inner dialogue, it will certainly hinder healthy self-expression. Consider whether the messages in your head are harmful to you, and if so, work on ways to replace them with positive thoughts. Start talking to yourself and do it in a positive way.
2. Change your perception about emotions
Emotions are not necessarily good or bad; emotions are emotions after all. We simply experience them because they have a specific purpose. If they had no evolutionary purpose, they would not exist. Emotions cannot simply be cut away and you cannot suddenly stop feeling emotions. To deal with them better, you need to learn to view emotions as your body’s natural response to different situations. This also explains the versatility of emotions.
3. Use carefully chosen words
As you try to work on your inner communication, you need to ask yourself how to talk about your feelings. The more empowered you feel when you talk about it, the easier it is to share your feelings. You feel more confident and have more control over yourself. This way you are more likely to share your feelings. Therefore, start by describing your feelings, either verbally or in writing.
Whatever comes out during these moments of inner communication: it’s good, because you learn along the way. The more you do this, the more skilled you become. This way it will also take a lot less time to understand what you feel and to understand what someone else is experiencing. Recognizing emotions and knowing which words match them is one of the keys to learning how to explain feelings to your partner.
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4. Accept feelings as a passing experience
As you learn how to express your feelings to the other person, you may worry that you’re saying something you can’t take back. If this is also one of your main concerns, remember that these feelings can change and that it is a matter of time. Emotions will fall away again, no matter how heavy or euphoric they are felt at that moment. This can offer future prospects, especially in tougher times, because relief will indeed come at a certain point.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t share your feelings at that moment. On the contrary, it should make sharing the emotions a lot easier, because you now know that it is a snapshot. You shouldn’t let the emotions you’re feeling now completely affect your relationship, which has probably lasted much longer than its current momentum.
5. Pay attention to the time and place
Pay attention to the timing to learn how to better express emotions in a relationship. Choosing a bad time can leave you feeling worthless and mistakenly thinking that emotions are dangerous to the relationship. If someone wants to share something that their partner may have difficulty hearing, it’s important to ask when the right time to talk is to ensure the conversation doesn’t lose momentum. There should be enough moments for both parties to listen and provide feedback.
6. Create a judgment-free space within yourself
No one exposes themselves to someone else when they know a devastating judgment is already in store without first listening to the explanation. If you are wondering how you can become more effective in expressing your thoughts to others, it helps if you approach the situation with an open mind.
Try to avoid becoming defensive or irritated when the other person expresses his or her feelings. Try to do the same when it is your turn to provide text and explanation. That can only hinder the sharing of feelings between you in the future even more.
7. Stay away from words like ‘always’ and ‘never’
When you generalize, you leave no room for the other perspective. If you want your partner to pay more attention to the relationship, avoid blaming or labeling the other person. Instead, tell the other person how you feel about the situation. Avoid generalizing with terms such as ‘always’ and never’. Don’t make it a black and white story if you don’t have to. These words are synonymous with finger pointing and are usually accusatory in nature.
8. Be open with your intentions
If you intend to express your feelings more in a relationship, do n’t be manipulative when things get emotional. If you ask the other person about their feelings because you want to benefit yourself, be open about it. If you don’t, the other person will realize that you have ulterior motives.
If you sincerely want to know what your partner thinks about a certain issue or situation, ask. But if you have secondary plans if the other person suddenly becomes emotional, then that is not okay.
9. Address expectations first
One of the reasons why it is easier not to express your emotions is because a pattern of expectations then arises. An expectation pattern about the moment and the feelings themselves, but also about future moments. If you feel pressured to share your feelings with your partner, adjust expectations.
10. Trust your partner’s good intentions
Assuming that your partner also wants to invest in the relationship , you may benefit from using that as a starting point yourself. Your partner has good intentions and you have good intentions. And expressing emotions are also good intentions, because you want to grow older together and perhaps share many more moments like this.
Think of situations where you shared sensitive information with your partner and everything went well. Think about the situations in which your partner showed how much he or she cares about you , as it can help you share new feelings with the other person.
11. Be prepared for feedback
Communication is a two-way street. If you decide to share your feelings, chances are your partner will have a response that he or she wants to share with you as well. If you want the other person to listen to you and not respond for a while, say so in advance. However, make sure that the other person can still give feedback and share his or her thoughts with you at a later time, when you have finished talking. Be prepared for honest feedback and not for an answer that necessarily favors you.
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50 words to describe emotions
Emotions are an essential part of who you are. They are more than just a feeling and more of a complex mix of thoughts, actions, expressions and internal changes in your body. The words we use to describe these emotions help us identify and convey the different parts of the feeling. And because emotions can sometimes be downright chaotic and confusing, it helps a lot if we can describe them in words. Knowing how to name them and talk about them is an important part of developing emotional health.
However, sometimes it is difficult to express your emotions or to put into words exactly how you feel. That’s why we’ve put together this list of emotions that can help you name your feelings. Because if you don’t know how to describe what you feel, you can’t share it. To help clarify the variety of feelings you may have, this is a list of emotions that can describe how you feel.
Remember, this is just one way to categorize emotions. For example, a recent study suggests that there are 27 categories of emotions. But the concept of five main types of emotions is a good start to understanding the complexity.
Joy
- pleasure
- pleasure
- happiness
- entertainment
- pride
- arousal
- ecstasy
- in love
- satisfaction
- sympathy
Sadness
- only
- unhappy
- hopeless
- dejected
- miserable
- sad
- sad
- disappointed
- lost
- troubled
Fear
- Worried
- nervous
- stretched
- anxious
- in panic
- stressed out
- confused
- nervous
- loaded
- stretched
Fury
- bored
- frustrated
- bitter
- furious
- angry
- offended
- vengeful
- hostile
- indignant
- bitter
Disgust
- dislike
- aversion
- nauseous
- disgust
- offended
- appalled
- aversion
- contempt
- grudgingly
- uneasiness
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