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Are you an intelligent person with the IQ that others dream of? Are you highly educated, do you have a great career, but love still doesn’t work out? Do you feel like your intelligence is holding you back from finding that perfect partner? Don’t worry, a lot of smart people suffer from this. Dating can just be harder for the smart ones among us. How exactly does that work?
Smart, highly educated, but no relationship
You are smart, have a good relationship with your family, a large group of friends and your dream job. To the outside world you have already succeeded in life, but does it feel incomplete to you without a nice partner to share all this with? Don’t worry , you are not alone. There are special dating apps for highly educated people for a reason . Highly educated singles think a lot about dating, but maybe that is also the problem if it does not work for you.
Intelligence getting in your way?
If you are intelligent, you like to think about everything. You want to know exactly how the world works and how things work. You like to analyze situations, because that is just part of who you are. What exactly was said or done, what was the reaction? You also like to analyze yourself. You think about what you are going to say. You analyze what you would have liked to have said or done differently, and especially: how you could have handled it better.
With all that clever stuff going on in your brain, your intelligence can get in the way of dating. Because love isn’t a complicated formula that you can solve like a Rubik’s cube, that’s not how love works. There’s no math problem that determines whether or not a relationship will work.
5 Reasons Why Being Smart Makes Dating Harder
What also doesn’t help smart people is that they often think and act rationally. They like to listen to their mind, because they act according to reason. With the information they have, they then make decisions based on the facts that are on the table. Love works very differently, unfortunately, because it is mainly based on feeling and emotion. Here are 5 reasons why your intelligence makes dating more difficult.
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1. You overthink and analyze too much
Let’s say you’re on a date with a match. You catch yourself constantly analyzing everything. How the other person reacts, what their body language says, what they literally say. What do you think, does this make dating easier or harder?
Unfortunately, you won’t get anywhere by over-analyzing everything. After all, you have no idea what’s really going on in someone else’s head. You also have to be careful not to overthink everything you say or do. Go with the flow , say what you want to say. There’s no point in thinking in advance about what exactly you’re going to say. Having a few topics in reserve is more than enough. Let the conversation flow naturally and be yourself.
People are simply impossible to read. Especially not in a complicated situation like a date, when everyone is full of nerves. Try to let it go and enjoy the date. What does your feeling say about the person sitting opposite you? Is there a connection? Was the date pleasant and does it taste like more? When it comes to love, it is better to listen to your feelings than to your mind. And that is precisely a difficult step for people with a high level of intelligence.
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2. Most people you meet are less intelligent than you
If you can describe yourself as a genius, chances are you will meet many people who are less intelligent. Because of this, they may not understand you and vice versa, they may start to irritate you. They may also feel intimidated by you, because you are too smart.
When you date, you are not looking for a version of yourself. You are looking for someone you feel something with, someone you can spar with, laugh with, discuss with and have fun with. Is intelligence really that important? An equally intelligent partner is not a requirement for happiness.
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3. Everyone expects you to come home with the perfect partner
Everything in your life goes perfectly because of your intelligence. You did school with two fingers in your nose and then your career went like a rocket. You have become a successful businessman or woman. You work hard and gradually achieve all your goals, except finding your ideal partner. While everyone expects that of you, and that gnaws at you.
Being successful in your work life doesn’t mean you’ll be successful in love. When people push you to find a relationship, or constantly ask you if you’ve met someone , it can be really annoying. It can even start to dictate how you behave in the dating world. While you can be incredibly happy as a single person, making tough comments about your love life can make dating even harder than it already is.
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4. You feel you have the right to perfect love
You may have the perfect life with the perfect job, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to find the perfect partner. Why? Because the perfect partner doesn’t exist. Lists of requirements exist only to disappoint you. There is no such thing as a relationship where everything is perfect. No man or woman is perfect. If you are a perfectionist in all aspects of your life, you really need to let go of this when it comes to finding a partner. Don’t write off a date too quickly.
Realize that the people you meet may not be as perfect as you are, but they may have other great qualities that are a perfect match for you . Do you have a really long list of criteria for a man or woman to meet? Let it go . A relationship will never be perfect, but a relationship can make you incredibly happy.
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5. You have less experience in love
Smart, intelligent singles have often focused more on things other than love in their past. On homework, school results, their career and side activities that fit with that. You have spent all your time studying, applying for jobs, work, work and more work. And then suddenly you are in your thirties and single , while other people have already found their partners.
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