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In the fast-paced, digital age we live in, you may have heard, seen, or read about the damaging impact of social media and how it can even ruin a relationship. It is clear that social media have become anchored in our daily lives and that has many advantages, but also certain disadvantages. Social media can help us keep in touch with people we speak less often, but it can also create a communication gap with the closest people around us.
In addition to affecting your immediate relationships with friends and family, social media behavior can cause conflict in marriage and love life. Of course, it’s completely normal to occasionally argue or bicker with your partner because of something that came up on social media. But there are a lot of people for whom things can go completely wrong — simply because they liked someone’s Facebook profile photo.
Reason to discuss with you 14 ways social media can damage relationships. The target? To recognize these and discuss them properly.
Can social media ruin your relationship?
Social media basically helps you get in touch with people you like and at least maintain contacts. This especially applies to social media such as Facebook, where the majority of the people in your friends list are actually friends, acquaintances or family members.
On other social media, such as Instagram, this is not always the case, because as a user you can also follow celebrities or people you have never seen. And that is partly why social media are increasingly taking on a life of their own. In fact, someone can present themselves completely differently on social media than they do in real life, with everyday life a mere shadow of the life they live online.
A major criticism of social media is that they can overshadow “real life” to the detriment of daily relationships. Some people are so fixated on social media (and the internet in general) that it becomes unhealthy and can affect personal relationships.
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14 Ways Social Media Can Ruin Your Relationship
Excessive use of social media can affect personal relationships in several ways. This is also the case with excessive smartphone use, which will also be a recognizable problem for many people. The difference is that the ways in which social media can ruin your relationship can also be limited specifically to using apps like Instagram, Facebook, and even TikTok and Snapchat.
1. You are confronted with your past
Maybe you are very happy with your current partner, but things can suddenly change with one action. If an ex suddenly sends you a loving message on Facebook Messenger, so to speak , it can bring back old memories or even trigger temptations. You may not have any bad intentions in this case, but the fact that you are still in contact with someone you once had a close relationship with on social media can make your partner feel insecure and even cause friction between the two of you.
It’s best to prevent your past from interfering with the present. Should you unfriend your ex ? We don’t want to say that, but on Facebook you at least have the option to unfollow the other person.
2. Your virtual life can take over your personal life
Imagine this: your partner plans a romantic date night for the two of you. As soon as you arrive at the restaurant, first check your Facebook page. Then you take a nice photo as soon as you get to the table and upload it to Instagram and then post it on TikTok, Snapchat and Twitter.
When the plate of food is in front of you, it takes another fifteen minutes before you take the first bite, because you are busy taking the perfect photo for your Instagram. And then you spend the rest of the evening checking the likes and comments on your photos. If your loved one asks during dinner if it is tasty, you say that it is disappointing. The fries are no longer crispy and the sauce is cold. Recognizable? Then do something about it.
The obsession with social media can frustrate your partner as you can barely talk to each other all evening. And he still wanted to surprise you with a nice evening . The need for an ultimate, virtual life can seriously damage your personal life.
3. Difficult to avoid temptations
Social media has made just about everyone ‘approachable’. People we wouldn’t dare approach in real life suddenly become approachable online. This ease of communication means that you may want to explore your options, because that nice girl or cool guy you saw on social media never dared to speak to you in the café. But online you are suddenly a lot less shy.
The convenience of social media can lead you to cheating on your partner in a way , because it’s easy to flirt from behind the safety of a phone or computer screen. That doesn’t mean that flirting online is the same as cheating online , but it can certainly be a first move. The striking thing is that it would never have happened if you had never seen the other person’s profile.
4. Less physical intimacy
In the distant past, couples would love to cuddle on the bed or couch, but today couples go straight to their cell phones instead of talking to each other or even holding each other. Even before getting intimate, couples are often on their phones instead of fully indulging in foreplay . Over time, this can lead to dissatisfaction in bed and a complete lack of interest in physical intimacy.
Now we are of course exaggerating it all a bit, because people are probably still hugging. But it will be clear that the number of “cuddle hours” has declined significantly over the last decade. And in many cases, less physical intimacy also means less genuine interest in each other.
5. Invasion of Privacy
Some people are so obsessed with online attention that they upload photos of even their most intimate moments. If you’re just doing that to prove that you’re in a great relationship with (perhaps indeed a handsome woman or guy), then it seems like a somewhat desperate need for validation.
Now this point also depends on age. Many teenagers are still in a phase of life where they are looking for confirmation anyway and have much less difficulty throwing everything online. This is in contrast to a lot of people who belong to an older age group.
6. Unwanted attention can spoil the mood
Suppose you are on holiday with your partner on an exotic island. You post a photo on the beach and are glued to your phone to see how many likes you get. Then suddenly someone posts a nasty comment that spoils your mood and ruins the holiday with your significant other. The opinion of others is indeed important, but that does not apply to every opinion.
The same can happen if the person your partner really hates responds, for whatever reason. So let some special moments be exclusive to you and your partner, without necessarily having to post them on social media. Because then there are no negative reactions.
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7. It can make you insecure
It’s not uncommon for partners to check out the comments on photos of their significant other. Out of genuine interest, you may want to know who responds to your partner’s messages and what your partner has to say in response. Or maybe there is a little bit of jealousy there .
Either way, if someone your partner once liked leaves a comment, the insecure part of you may come out. Because that girl or guy that your partner was so crazy about in the past does indeed look above average attractive. And yet lately you are no longer as fit as you would like.
8. Intimate conversations decrease
When you started dating your partner, you still had hours of conversation; there was always something to discuss. Now that you’re sitting next to your partner on the couch, you’re both on your phones more than you’re talking to each other. And when you talk to each other, you don’t even look at each other, because everyone is looking at his or her own screen. Social media addiction can consume your personal time and decrease intimate conversations with your partner. And that is a bad observation that you both need to be aware of.
9. Unhealthy comparisons
You may have a happy and contented family life. But the moment you see your best friends partying in an expensive club, you will feel limited. You can’t do the same: after all, you’ve been together with your partner for a few years and that’s why you miss out on the usual annual trips with friends. You may feel like your friends are much happier than you because you live a boring, average life. This comparison can lead to dissatisfaction in life and create tension in a relationship . Because you actually want to be with your friends.
10. Deprivation of attention from real life
Extensive congratulations with a loving message on social media and thus thinking that the congratulations are over. This can be especially confrontational if you do not live together, see each other that evening, and there is not even a personal congratulations. Where have the real hugs gone for such a memorable moment?
More and more people believe that posting a public declaration of love on social media is enough to keep your partner happy . However, this is not correct. The lack of personal attention in real life can negatively impact your relationship.
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11. Online emotions can also take over at home
Imagine your partner returning home angry because his or her coworker asked them about your relationship that morning. How did they know something was wrong? Because you expressed your frustrations in a certain way through social media. You seem frustrated to other people and so there must be something going on at home. Emotions at home can influence online behavior, but this can be reinforced the other way around.
12. ‘Phubbing’ can be humiliating
Phubbing is a relatively new term for completely ignoring and rejecting someone standing right in front of you because you are busy with your phone. The term ‘ phubbing ‘ is nothing but a portmanteau of the words ‘phone’ and ‘snubbing’, the latter meaning ‘reject’ or ‘ignore’.
In some cases, phubbing can indeed come across as snapping at the other person, but in many cases it is giving a short answer (which is judged as snarky) and a lack of attention. Whatever the underlying reason may be; it is anything but sympathetic and can even be experienced as humiliating when it concerns an important subject.
13. Obsessions
Your partner may have revealed a spicy detail about an ex to you and you know exactly who it is because you have already seen the other person’s social media profile. You may act stoic on the outside, but when you’re alone, you can watch the “ex’s” online activities. At worst, you could even become extremely jealous and exhibit obsessive behavior by wanting to know more and more about this ex.
14. Meeting follower expectations
The need to maintain a vibrant social life can make you want to live one. Maybe you want the latest gadgets or luxury products to show off online, and maybe you’ll visit more expensive restaurants and other places. Not because you are so interested in the place, but you go there because of the hype that you have seen in your timeline.
It goes without saying that it can cost a lot of money to finance all this and therefore have a direct impact on the relationship with your partner. A lot of problems are about money and just the compulsive behavior of participating in such hypes can lead to frustrations for your partner.
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One final note
Let’s face it: we’ve all stalked someone else’s profile at some point. Sometimes there are people you want to know everything about: where they work, who they are married to and where they are on holiday. We have all been very satisfied with a nice update on Facebook or Instagram, because social media is part of most people’s lives. However, things will change when social media gain the upper hand and start to influence people’s ‘real’ lives.
Social media is indeed a useful tool that can help in many ways, but its overuse can definitely ruin your relationships. Limit your use of social media if you notice that your relationship is suffering. The thinking is simple: everything that is excessive is unhealthy, and this also applies to social media.
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