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When you think about your relationship, you prefer to focus your thoughts on another topic. It is painful. Your partner, who was once so attentive and loving, seems to be becoming increasingly distant. The spark that once connected you seems to have faded. You notice that you often feel lonelier in the presence of your partner than when you are actually alone. The result of this lingering experience is that you have doubts and wonder whether you would be better off alone.
As you scroll through old photos on your phone, you see a smile appear on your face. The memories of the times when you were happy together are wonderful, but unfortunately that joy seems to be a thing of the past. You and your partner now seem more interested in your own world, without paying much attention to each other’s needs and desires.
The idea of continuing alone therefore comes to mind more and more often. And while it’s scary to leave the relationship behind, you start to believe that it might be the right choice for you. The time has come to make the decision: are you going to fight for the relationship or are you better off alone?
Why the choice is so difficult
Whether you have been in a relationship for six months or twelve years: it is always difficult to tie the knot in a relationship. Deep down you hold on to the memories of what it once was. You think back to the days of intense love and the idea of leaving it all behind feels overwhelming and perhaps a little scary. You are afraid of change, afraid of the unknown, and you wonder if you can survive without your partner.
The problem is that when you’re in the middle of a relationship, it’s hard to think objectively about the issues that arise. Love, hope and loyalty cloud your judgment. You want to believe that everything will be okay again, that you will be as happy as you once were. The idea of ending the relationship feels like throwing away something valuable, because you are not only distancing yourself from your partner, but also from the future you envisioned.
If your partner does this, you’ll be better off alone
If you find yourself in this situation, it is difficult to get a clear perspective. Still, it’s important to ask yourself whether you’ll be happier if you stay with your partner, or if you’re better off alone. Do you choose your own happiness or do you keep fighting for a relationship that may never survive ? If your partner does these things, you’re probably better off alone.
1. You constantly feel unhappy in the relationship
A healthy relationship should enrich your life. It makes you happier. If you find yourself constantly doubting yourself and not feeling happy in the relationship, it’s time to be honest with yourself. You may be afraid of being alone or fear the change, but you have to ask yourself if this nagging uncertainty is worth it.
Also read: Why loving yourself is so important and how to do it
2. You don’t communicate (anymore)
One of the foundations of a strong relationship is communication . If you constantly talk past each other, don’t listen to each other and don’t understand each other’s feelings, this foundation crumbles. With a pattern of poor communication, you are outwardly better off alone.
3. You are not supported
One of the things singles miss when they are alone is the support of a partner. If you have a partner, but receive no support, what is the difference with being single? If the essential aspect of support is lacking, it may be time to consider whether you are better off alone, where you can surround yourself with people who will encourage you to achieve your goals.
4. Your partner brings more pain than joy
Although every relationship has its ups and downs, the overall feeling of the relationship should not be painful. If you find yourself feeling more sad and disappointed than satisfied, keep in mind that this won’t last long.
5. Your partner uses physical or psychological violence
If your partner uses violence against you in any form, this is absolutely unacceptable. Physical and psychological abuse is a line that should never be crossed in a relationship, as you probably know. If your partner does this, take immediate action and protect yourself by distancing yourself.
6. Your partner humiliates you
Your partner repeatedly tells you that you are too fat. Or perhaps too thin, ugly or unattractive. Or your partner tells embarrassing stories about you to others, without any respect for your feelings and without concern for how this could damage your reputation. If your partner constantly humiliates, belittles and puts you down, you are better off alone.
7. Your partner shows no respect for your boundaries
If your partner constantly pushes past your boundaries , you may feel suffocated. This is, for example, the case when your needs are not taken into account. You may find yourself constantly adjusting your own wants and desires to please your partner, even at the expense of your own well-being. If your partner doesn’t respect your boundaries, it could be a sign of a lack of empathy and empathy.
8. Your partner is cheating
Cheating ruins the trust in the relationship. It is hurtful and puts a bomb under the relationship. Even if you manage to get back after cheating, the relationship will never be the same. Furthermore, according to research , those who have cheated are three times more likely to do it again. If your partner is cheating, this is a clear hint that you are better off alone.
9. Your partner is manipulative
A partner should not manipulate or control you. If you notice that your partner is emotionally manipulating you, such as gaslighting , guilt-tripping you, and trying to control your behavior, this is a red flag for an unhealthy relationship. You’re better off alone.
Also read: Pitfalls in New Relationships: How to Avoid Them
10. Your partner ignores your needs
Everything is about what your partner wants and it is never about what you want. If your partner consistently ignores your desires, minimizes your feelings, and only thinks about his or her own needs, this is a sign of selfish behavior. If your partner isn’t thinking about you, isn’t it time you started thinking about yourself a little more?
11. Your partner is addicted
An addiction can have a devastating effect on your relationship. When your partner is addicted , there are only victims. Whether it’s gambling, drugs, or alcohol, if your partner is unwilling to seek help or change, it can create an unstable and unsafe environment. If nothing changes, you’ll be better off alone.
12. Your partner keeps lying
Your partner always claims to be at work, but actually your partner often spends time with a secret group of friends. Or your partner turns out to have debts that you know nothing about. A healthy relationship is based on honesty and openness, and if your partner falls short in this regard, it’s time to move on alone.
13. Your partner is extremely jealous
A partner should not suffocate you with extreme jealousy and control . We all know someone whose partner is constantly suspicious, checks the phone, and limits contact with others. Although it is funny to the outside world, it can be a real hell to experience. If your partner does this and doesn’t want to change, you’re probably better off alone.
Also read: Serious Relationship? What It Is, What It Isn’t and How to Find It
14. Your partner is unreasonable
Conflicts are normal in any relationship. But not all conflicts are normal. As an example, your partner uses old, painful events from the past to belittle and hurt you . Your partner uses these sensitive topics as weapons to get at you instead of trying to resolve the conflict constructively. This is unacceptable. If the unreasonable behavior occurs frequently, then you have reason enough to end the relationship.
It can be difficult to say goodbye to the person with whom you have shared joys and sorrows. But sometimes letting go is the only way to free yourself from an unhappy existence. Everyone deserves to be happy and sometimes that means you’re better off alone.
Also read: Serious Relationship? What It Is, What It Isn’t and How to Find It
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