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A little bit of passion from both sides can make the difference between a fun date and a life-changing one. The spark between two people can create an unforgettable evening that may well lead to many more evenings. After all, you may both be physically attractive, but a real connection, click, or spark between two people makes the difference between kissing someone or not, hugging someone or not, or sleeping together or not.
You don’t have that connection with everyone, but you can put your best foot forward to create some chemistry between the two of you. There are definitely some tricks to that, but it usually comes down to being open, playful and approachable.
Chemistry is not so much about sex appeal . It is more about the energy between two people. If you are relaxed, you will grow closer and the spark is more likely to fly. Reason why today you will learn more about that well-known spark and why it does or does not fly.
What exactly is that spark?
First of all, it is of course important to understand what exactly is going on when you feel the ‘spark’. That instant connection happens naturally when you experience an overwhelming desire for someone. This is not only sexual in nature, but there is also a desire for the person, or rather for getting to know that person. These are the moments when you are both excited to learn more about each other and share personal stories with each other.
It is also the feeling that you forget everything around you and that you don’t want the evening to end. This spark is also described as emotional attraction. You feel emotional attraction to people with qualities that you consider desirable.
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Why the spark doesn’t always fly
The spark generally doesn’t fly if the openness or desirability isn’t there. You only become fascinated by someone if he or she shows that they are open to getting to know you better. However, there are many reasons why someone might keep their distance.
For example, the first few dates can be nerve-wracking. You worry about how you’ll be perceived and whether or not you’ll be judged. You don’t want to come across as too eager or too desperate. Many people wear a kind of mask with new people and only take it off when there’s a sense of trust .
Only then can the two people get a clearer picture of who the other is and determine whether or not she is ready to reveal herself. People do not reach this point during every introduction or date, which is why the spark does not fly.
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The chemistry is not always there
Of course, there is not always chemistry , because it is a whole combination of the physical and mental aspects. If the chemistry is not there within a short time, then the chance that it will come later is smaller. You cannot force it on someone who does not want it, and you certainly cannot expect that there will be a click every date .
But once there is a spark, it often doesn’t take much effort to have a great date together. The great thing is that it doesn’t even matter where you are or what you’re doing. It’s about not wanting to be with anyone more than the person you’re with at that moment.
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5 tips to make the spark fly
While there is no magic formula for transferring the spark, there are some tips to increase the chemistry between two people. We have five tips for you that are quite easy to put into practice.
1. Wear something comfortable
Getting all dolled up for a date can be a way to impress the other person. But try not to wear anything too much that might make you feel uncomfortable. Dress like you are. If you are used to wearing something sexy, do that. Do you prefer a relaxed shirt and do you feel most comfortable in a casual look? Then do that. Feeling comfortable obviously consists of a whole range of factors, but it definitely includes wearing comfortable clothing.
2. Go into the date with a positive attitude
If you expect the date to be boring and awkward, you will radiate that to the other person. An uninterested atmosphere is created, just because of your expectations. Therefore, try to be a bit more positive. If we want to have a chance of good chemistry on a first date, we have to allow ourselves to think positively and also be enthusiastic. So only go on a date with someone you really want to get to know.
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3. Ensure open body language
To keep the positive vibes and chemistry flowing between the two of you, you need to pay enough attention to your body language. For example, keep your arms and shoulders open and turn your body towards your date, not away. This is much friendlier than crossing your arms or awkwardly turning away from the other person, which will likely kill the chemistry before it even has a chance to get going.
- Only positive facial expressions
- Do not speak too loudly or softly
- Making eye contact
- Taking personal space into account
4. Don’t be afraid to touch
If you feel it is possible, and your date is okay with it, touch the other person while you are talking. We are now living in the #MeToo era, but touching is still a way to show affection . A subtle touch is not necessarily sexual in nature and ensures that your date knows that you are interested. The way you touch can also ensure that there is flirting, where you can sense what the boundaries are.
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5. Give compliments
Since many dates start online or continue online, there is a good chance that you have already chatted and know that you at least like each other. A date can therefore become physical more quickly, because there is often already a run-up. Giving a compliment in a face-to-face setting can, with a bit of luck at least, ensure that the chemistry jumps over in one go.
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