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The first impression is crucial, especially on a first date . It immediately makes you come closer together or grow apart. The first impression you make is of course partly due to your personality and partly to the preferences of the other person. However, with proper preparation you can make sure that you leave an excellent first impression.
Because we want to help you with that, we have a number of tips for you so that you make a rock-solid first impression. The advantage of these tips is that they are easy to follow. And together they make a real difference during your first date. We will tell you more about making a good first impression .
Why first impressions count
Humans have the ability to judge other people quite accurately based on brief first impressions. In fact, behavioral scientists argue that everyone should take first impressions seriously, because we can infer a lot from the first bit of information we receive about another person.
The reason first impressions are so important? Because you’ll never really get the chance to correct a negative first impression. Once someone has formed a certain image of you, it’s nearly impossible to change that image. According to research, later information that contradicts the first impression is actually rejected, leaving the first impression standing—even if it’s based on a bad judgment.
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It is also accurate
Whether or not you agree with the power of first impressions, it’s just the way our brains process information quickly. And the brain has gotten really good at it because we do it every day – consciously and unconsciously. The result is that first impressions are generally pretty accurate .
In one study on first impressions, participants watched video clips of political candidates competing for election. Based on first impressions alone, participants were able to predict who would win the election with 70% accuracy. This not only tells us that we can make snap judgments about people we don’t know, but that we’re pretty damn good at it.
First impressions are formed within seconds. Some studies confirm that we do this incredibly quickly, in about 100 milliseconds , while other studies put it at 2 to 30 seconds. The number of seconds doesn’t really matter, because you don’t need much time for it anyway. In other words: first impressions are quick, reasonably accurate and last a long time. Enough reason to make those first seconds count on a date.
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How do you make a good first impression?
A good first impression is crucial for the rest of the date. It determines how you are perceived and how you are reacted to. You only get one chance to make a first impression and that is done through a combination of good appearance, hygiene, decency and etiquette. Although you can’t control the judgment of other people, you can control how you come across to them. And that is something you can work on.
Because first impressions are so important, there’s been a lot of research into the signals that go into making a good first impression. While there are some things you can’t control – like the shape of your face you were born with – there are other things you can. From your facial expressions and the pitch of your voice to the way you move your body, it all goes into the first impression you make.
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7 tips for the best first impression
Creating a positive and lasting first impression is an essential part of a first date. Presenting yourself in a natural, yet confident way is the goal. There are a few simple steps you can take to make the most of your first meeting. We’ve listed seven for you:
1. Arrive on time
Nobody does it on purpose, but being late on a first date is not exactly a way to make a good first impression. While most people will be polite and not make a big deal about it, punctuality does show that you care about the person and take them seriously.
It helps to have 10 to 15 minutes of margin to avoid unforeseen circumstances such as traffic or parking. And if you arrive late, don’t pretend it doesn’t matter. Send a text message that you’ll be a little late and apologize.
2. Dress your best, but be careful what is appropriate
While looks aren’t everything, dressing your best for a first date will give you a head start. For men, a good jacket or blazer and shirt will always work. Trimming your beard is also a good idea – if you have a beard, make sure it’s well-groomed. The same goes for a moustache, of course.
For women, a feminine dress, long earrings and open hair are never out of fashion. However, as a woman, you do not want to appear too sexy or revealing, so do not make the clothing too short. Both men and women should adapt their clothing to the occasion. Do not arrive in slippers in a fancy restaurant and do not walk into a coffee bar in a dress and high heels. To indicate how important your clothing is, an example from a study.
In one of the studies on first impressions, the link was made with clothing. More than 300 participants looked at images of a man for only three seconds before they were allowed to make a judgment. In some photos, the man was wearing a tailored suit, in other photos, a normal suit that was fairly similar. The differences in the suits were very small, but the participants rated the man in the tailored suit much more favorably.
Moreover, the positive evaluation was not just about how well he was dressed. They also rated the man in the suit as more self-confident, more successful, more flexible, and as someone who earns more. Since the model’s face was not visible in the photos, these impressions must have been formed solely on the basis of what the man was wearing.
3. Pay attention to your perfume
Smelling well is important for both men and women. It is not only the eyes that play a role in the first impression, the sense of smell also has an influence. Research from Italy says that we can smell whether someone is a friend or an enemy. According to the research, people determine whether someone is a good fit for them based on smell. And they can pick up that smell right away at the first meeting, even before you have said a single word.
Taking two minutes to put on your favorite perfume makes a difference. And if you’re not into fragrances, an aftershave for men will help keep you smelling fresh, just like shower gel for both sexes. And we don’t even have to start on deodorant. If you do wear a fragrance, keep it pleasant. If you’re over the top, that intense scent can also backfire.
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4. Don’t interview
“What do you do for a living? What are your hobbies? Where do you live? What did you study?” While it’s normal to want to know something about the other person, it shouldn’t be a question-and-answer session. We recommend skipping the interview-style questions and instead asking deeper, thought-provoking questions that invite a deeper conversation:
- “What makes you cry in movies?”
- “When was the last time you laughed so hard you couldn’t stop?”
- “What gave you the best feeling last week?”
Our point is that you should avoid the standard date questions . You can ask them of course, but do it subtly, in between and not right after each other.
5. Listen attentively
Both men and women want to give the best impression of themselves, but most of us do it the wrong way. Talking too much about yourself, from talking about special achievements to traveling: don’t do it too much. Your date will feel left out if you only talk about yourself and don’t show any interest in the other person . It is therefore important to also listen carefully to what the other person has to say. This applies to both men and women.
If you only talk about yourself and don’t show any interest in what your date has to say, you will lose all your attractiveness. Make sure you stay curious and listen carefully to what your date has to say. Being genuinely interested in another person is an attractive quality that will make a good impression on anyone.
6. Don’t go beyond two drinks
We don’t want to play your mom or dad, but this tip deserves a spot on our list. Don’t go over the two-drink limit on a first date , no matter how much fun you’re having. We can all be sensitive to how much a date drinks.
If you let yourself go too much, you will make the other person think and maybe in a negative way. Moreover, you can completely wipe out the good impression you made by clumsy behavior after a few drinks. If the other person involves too much drinking, that also says a lot about your date, so don’t let yourself be tempted too much.
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7. Go with the flow
Keep an open mind and allow yourself to naturally go with the flow of a date. If your date asks to go for a walk, go for it. If your date would rather go to an ice cream parlor than your favorite wine bar, be flexible. It makes you more likable and friendly, two qualities you want to put into first impressions.
Too often we have strict expectations about what a perfect date should look like. The ability to be flexible and go with the flow allows you to let go and have more fun. It pays to not come with too many preconceived ideas about what the first date should look like. Feel the flow and if it is good, be open to spontaneous ideas.
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