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First dates, we all know how exciting and nerve-wracking they can be. Especially if you hope to pave the way for a wonderful future, a lot hangs on it. But let’s be honest: it’s not just about the first date . The second date is perhaps just as important. But how do you get that coveted second date?
New research published in the journal Sexuality & Culture suggests that certain behaviors can have a positive effect on a first date, increasing your chances of a second date. Men who display better etiquette , such as being nice and having good manners, are more likely to get a second date. On the other hand, women who show more engagement, through eye contact and smiling, may increase their chances of a second date.
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How do you score a second date?
In a world where the dating landscape is constantly changing, one thing remains the same: people continue to look for relationships. Scientific research can facilitate that search, because it provides valuable insights into human behavior and interactions. Scientists investigate what works and what doesn’t in relationships, but also during dates. And that’s what researchers from the University of Florida focused on this time: how to go from a first to a second date. In other words: what makes a first date successful?
To find out, 100 participants were asked to name five things a person of their own sex should do to increase their chances of getting a second date . The results were surprisingly similar between men and women, the researchers say.
Men believed that deep conversation, paying for the date , using humor, and maintaining eye contact were effective tactics. On the other hand, women thought that telling jokes, asking questions , being polite and respectful, and looking good with makeup were important things.
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Is this effective?
In the second part of the study, 131 participants were asked to rate this behavior for effectiveness. Only this time not for their own sex, but for the opposite sex. This showed that men and women think differently about which behavior is effective for a successful first date.
Men believe that women who showed interest (eye contact, good body language, smiling, and asking interesting questions ) were more likely to get a second date. On the other hand, women think that men who follow etiquette (being kind, caring, and listening) are more likely to get a second date. In short, men value women who show interest and engage in flirtatious behavior, while women value men who are kind and behave appropriately .
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Comparison with Dating Around
In the third part of the study, the scientists used episodes of the popular Netflix show ‘ Dating Around ‘. They did this to investigate whether the participants who got a second date actually showed the behaviors that were considered effective in the previous studies. Surprisingly, the behaviors that were considered effective in the first two studies turned out to have almost no effect on getting a second date. This was true for both men and women.
What could be the reason for this? According to the research team, reality shows like “Dating Around” are often heavily edited to increase their entertainment value. As a result, this may not reflect how dating works in real life. It could also be that what people think is effective behavior on first dates does not match what actually works to score a second date.
While the research offers interesting insights and even some dating tips to be more successful on a first date, we must remember that it is all still quite hypothetical. More research is needed to investigate the effective behavior in real dating life.
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