How to Ask Someone on a Date: Tips, Examples, and Phrases That Work

Asking someone out on a date is a vulnerable moment. With one sentence, you take the bold initiative to say what you think about the other person and how you feel about them. Even if you don’t express your feelings in words, you make your intentions clear with the date request. And that’s exciting, because at that moment you don’t know if the positive feelings are mutual.

Even if you’re generally navigating life with confidence, asking someone out on a date can be tough. It’s tricky . You worry about how the other person will react, whether they’ll accept your offer, or whether you’ll completely miss the mark by misreading the signals. You’re afraid of rejection .

Then you worry about the typical things that people do in social situations. Your posture, what exactly to say, and how to keep the conversation going . These are the things that can make social situations really complicated. And when you couple that with the situation of asking someone out on a date, it just gets more complicated.

Why it’s so intimidating

For most of us, it’s a terrifying experience. Imagine sitting next to the person you like right now. Look them in the eye and ask the question:

“Do you want to grab a drink with me on Friday? As in… a date?”

Hold eye contact for another second and think about what you are feeling. Is it a feeling of insecurity? A tingling feeling in your stomach? What you are feeling now is vulnerability. You are distancing yourself from the natural desire to protect your emotions and feelings. You are being open and honest when you ask someone out on a date with the risk of getting hurt. That takes courage.

You have to have the courage to reach out, to have the conversation, to find the perfect moment. And when that all goes well, you have to find the courage to say the words that will determine your fate. Being vulnerable is scary, and exposing yourself is even scarier. But it is also powerful.

ALSO READ: 114 Best Date Ideas for First, Second and More Dates

9 Tips for the Date Question

Despite all the obstacles and challenges, (almost) everyone manages to ask someone out on a date at least once in their lives. So the question is not whether you will succeed, but when you will succeed. We have these eight tips for you that will make everything just that little bit easier. In addition, we have also collected 22 sentences that you can use right away.

1. Think about how you do it

Preparation helps. You can take some of the stress out of it by thinking about how you’re going to ask it. Think about an introduction and the question you’re going to ask. Then it’s just a matter of how you’re going to bring up the introduction. If you’re prepared and know what to say, you’ll do it with more confidence.

2. Show that you like the other person

There is no need to be shy about your feelings. Do you like someone? Then make it clear with what you say and do. This can be done with personal questions, small compliments and sweet gestures. Leave small breadcrumbs that make the other person think that you are interested. It ensures that a proposal for a date does not just fall out of the sky.

3. Take it easy

If it’s someone you don’t know very well, don’t feel pressured to ask them out as soon as possible. Chill. Take it slow. Start by talking to get to know each other better . If you want to be more successful at suggesting dates, only do it with people you feel a genuine connection with—not just a superficial attraction.

ALSO READ: Couples Have More in Common Than We Think’

4. Do it with humor

Everything is easier when you do it with a smile. If you want to ask someone out on a date, use your humor. It makes it playful and lighthearted. It sets the tone and is also memorable.

• You really owe me a cup of coffee now.
• If I asked you out on a date, would you say yes or gladly?
• Since I’m in a good mood today, I’ll answer yes if you ask me out on a date.

5. Don’t make a big deal out of it

The best approach for many is to not see it as a deal breaker. See it as a normal part of a conversation and don’t focus on that one question. When you’re with friends, you don’t spend days thinking about how you’re going to ask them out, do you?

ALSO READ: 35 Playful Dates to Keep Your Relationship Alive

6. Ask indirectly

If you are very afraid of rejection, you can make the proposal in an indirect way . This makes it easier for the other person to say ‘no’, while you yourself run less risk. Basically, you give the other person the chance to do something with you, without it seeming like a date proposal. For example, like James does in this example script:

• James: “I recently saw the trailer for the new Batman. Have you seen it yet?”
• Michelle: “No, is that in theaters? I love Batman movies.”
• James: “Me too! In the commercial they said it would be in theaters on Friday. I just haven’t found anyone who wants to go with me yet.”
• Michelle: “…Why don’t you ask me then?”

ALSO READ: Is He The One? Not If He Does These 25 Things

7. Have confidence

You’ve probably heard and read it a thousand times: confidence is key. It shows that you’re an equal, even when you don’t feel like you are. Basically, if you expect a “no,” you’ll get a “no.” This doesn’t mean you should fake confidence. It’s about believing in yourself. Play your part and be yourself. The more you ask someone out, the easier it will be and the more confident you’ll become.

8. Pay attention to the timing

You can’t ask your coworker out on a date during a group meeting. Nor is it appropriate to invite a nurse out for drinks during work hours. Don’t invite anyone out on a date in public, especially not in front of friends, family, or coworkers. Timing is everything. Only do it when you’re alone with someone.

9. Always remain polite

When it comes to rejections, it’s important to remain a nice person. A rejection is not a reason to curse the other person. Or to say that they can’t get anything better. Give the other person the option to say “no” without making a big deal out of it. And don’t make a big deal out of it if you actually get a “no” as an answer.

Think of rejections more as a time saver. It’s better to know the answer now, not in a week, a month, or six months. That way, you can spend your time and energy more quickly on those who do want to date you.

ALSO READ: One-Sided Relationship? 22 Signs It’s Coming from One Side

22 sentences and examples

Do you have a habit of freezing up when you want to ask someone out on a date? Do you not know what to say? And do you need some examples? Then we have a list of 22 sentences for you to use as examples.

1. If you can guess where my favorite restaurant is, I’ll take you there.
2. My friends think we would make a cute couple. What do you think?
3. You’re the type of person I would ask out on a date.
4. If you keep looking at me like that, I’ll have no choice but to ask you out on a date.
5. I enjoy talking to you, but I’d enjoy dating you even more.
6. You. Friday at 8pm?
7. We should do something together sometime.
8. Isn’t it time I changed your relationship status?
9. I dreamed that you asked me out on a date. How do you feel about that?
10. You’re single. I’m single. We should do something about that.
11. Stop flirting. You can just ask me out on a date.
12. We would be a power couple , don’t you think?
13. Why stay single when you could have me?
14. I want to do something fun with you this weekend. Want to know what?
15. I can read minds recently. And yes, I want to meet you.
16. Normally I prefer to wait and see. But for you I’d like to be a bit more direct: shall we grab a bite to eat on Saturday?
17. What would be an ideal date for you? […] And when should we do that?
18. I know what you want to ask. And no, I don’t have any plans for Friday yet.
19. If you’re bored, we can do something together. Fancy…?
20. If I asked you out, would you say yes?
21. This was fun! I really have to go now. But what are you doing Saturday? Otherwise we can…
22. Oh, by the way, do you like me?

While some of these phrases may seem a little strange, the exact phrase doesn’t really matter. What matters is that you make the suggestion, not how you do it. Anything goes. It might even be better to not use the word “date” at all. Dating is scary for some, so play it safe and call it something else. You can just say whatever comes to mind. After all, a natural response is always better than a rehearsed phrase.

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