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The first date was like a fairy tale, the second date confirmed your feeling and now you want to meet up with your date more often. How many times a week should you meet up? Do you rush and can’t be without your new crush for a second or do you take it easy and meet up once a week?
How much time you should spend with the person you haven’t met long is a hot topic . There are two camps; one camp says you should do what you feel comfortable with, the other camp says you shouldn’t rush things so you don’t screw it up too early. There’s something to be said for both, and each option has its pros and cons.
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As often as you want
The moment the spark jumps is for many the starting signal to only think about that one person. That is not strange. It is completely normal that you want to see that person as often as possible. The first camp follows the feeling and meets as often as possible.
The patience to see each other again is nowhere to be found and both would like to see each other every day. Why not? Life is too short to wait. If you want to see your date every day, then at least he will not doubt your feelings .
However, there is a difference between what you want and what is good for the relationship. While it is nice to give in to your feelings, there is a downside. The desire to see each other is stronger in this case than thinking realistically about the consequences. Many relationships that fail in the early stages fail because both parties rush things.
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Why Every Day Isn’t Smart
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you were seeing someone every day, but it just didn’t feel right? That’s exactly what can happen when you rush into a new romance . It might seem great at first, but it can cause problems in the long run.
Meeting every day can lead to suffocation. That’s why it’s wise to have space and distance yourself when you need it, even if it’s just to catch your breath. By constantly being together, you actually create an unhealthy dynamic and dependency in the relationship. That’s not how you want it to be, right?
Another issue is that dating every day can be a sign of a phenomenon called “ love bombing .” What is that? Love bombing is when someone overwhelms you with love and attention at the beginning of a relationship. This can be very tempting, but it can also be misleading. You don’t get time to really explore your feelings. It’s like a whirlwind romance that deprives you of this opportunity. For the person who actually needs more space, it feels like being on a roller coaster with no way to get off.
In addition, daily hookups can be based more on lust than love. Yes, we get it, the attraction can be huge. But when you are physically intimate with someone every day, it can be hard to see if there is really true love involved. It can be a temporary passion that eventually fades. And of course we don’t want that.
There is also a risk that you get carried away by the rhythm of meeting every day. Sometimes you lose yourself in the relationship and then you also lose your independence . It is important to keep your own life and identity, even when you are madly in love. You do not want to become the person who only hangs around with his or her partner.
We also can’t talk about the dangers of meeting up every day without talking about the potential for hurt. It may not be the first thing on your mind, but it happens more often than you think. The more time you spend with someone, the more you invest in the relationship . And when things go wrong, it hurts even more.
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Once a week
The second camp takes it a bit easier. Meet up every day? Never. They prefer to follow the once-a-week rule for new relationships. As you might expect, this means you only see each other once a week. This isn’t forever, just in the beginning.
As you get to know each other better you can build up the frequency of seeing each other. For example, once a week for the first month followed by twice a week the following month. The most important part of building up the frequency is that both of you want it and are ready for it. It goes without saying, but not everyone feels the same way.
While you may be ready to pack up and move in with the other person, the other person may be confronted with the lack of freedom and want more time for themselves. No two people are the same, even if their feelings for each other are equally strong.
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Don’t rush it
Therefore, do not see dating as a race and more as a marathon. If you start too fast, you will meet the man with the hammer. This is also how it works in a new relationship. If you see each other too often in the beginning, the emotional bond grows quickly and you will feel involved with the person and perhaps dependent yourself within a short time. However, this process needs much more time to grow. Everyone knows that you cannot get to know someone within a month, but only after many months or even years.
Therefore, it is wise not to rush the relationship and to consciously see each other less often than you would like. The less you rush, the greater the desire to see each other again and the greater the chance that the relationship will succeed.
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