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Do you remember the moment you got to drive a car for the first time? Or the moment you had to apply for a job for the first time? There is a first time for everything in life, and so does a date. And since it’s your first date, it’s only natural that you have questions. Like: how long should the first date last?
It is an important question that many men and women ask themselves. On the one hand, you do not want to shoot yourself in the foot by letting it last longer than necessary, on the other hand, you want to be given enough time to make a well-considered choice about what happens next . It is therefore a question on which opinions are divided.
Some people prefer a long date, so you can get to know the person better. Others believe that it should be as short as possible, because it is already exciting enough. So the answer is not entirely clear and that is mainly because all choices have their pros and cons. We will tell you more about it.
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Short date
For most people, a first date is like a trip to the dentist: uncomfortable, but necessary. It may not be as painful as getting a cavity drilled without anesthesia, but it is still stressful. The nervous twitches, rapid breathing, and sweaty palms make it feel more like torture than something that should be enjoyable. If this is your experience with dating, a quick date might be the way to go.
The short date lasts a maximum of one hour – or half an hour – and is mainly aimed at getting to know each other. An hour is more than enough to get a first impression of someone. It is also enough to determine whether you find someone attractive . The advantage of a short meeting is also that you do not waste too much time on those with whom it would never work.
Short date: max 1 hour
Dates that last less than an hour also have the advantage that you want more. If it clicks, you want more. The shorter duration also partly preserves the mystery of not knowing everything about the other person. That increases the chance of a second date, because not everything has been said yet. And the disadvantage, do you think now? That it is already over before you have had the chance to shake off your nerves.
Another big disadvantage of a short date is that you may not have enough time to get to know each other well enough. You may not notice any red flags in half an hour , while you might find them in a longer conversation. It can also cause you to ask too many questions in a short time. Rushing is never fun.
A short date should be something like a walk in the park or a cup of coffee. If you feel that you click between the two of you, you can still extend the date. It is easier to extend a short date than to shorten a long date.
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Medium date
The medium date lasts a bit longer, but not much longer. Think two to three hours maximum. A dinner, like in the First Dates program, has this time limit. For most people, this is enough time to get comfortable with the situation, while also giving you enough space to discover each other.
The downside? Longer dates tend to cost more. If you ’re dating on a budget , this can be a deciding factor in going for a shorter date. Assuming you’re meeting for dinner, the cost quickly adds up if you’re doing a starter, main course, and dessert, including all drinks.
Medium date: 1 to 3 hours
You shouldn’t rush a first date. The medium-length date with a duration of one to three hours gives you enough time. Not only to introduce yourself, but also to get to know the other person .
The medium-length date generally allows you to make the most positive impression, as it gives you time to grow into the conversation. It also prevents you from ending a date while it is just starting to get going. The ideal length of a date for most people is therefore somewhere between the length of a short and medium-length date. That is: from half an hour to three hours maximum.
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Long date
Date ideas that take more than three hours of your time are usually not the best choice. What if you’re done after three minutes? Do you really want to sit through another 2 hours and 57 minutes of the date? Since you barely know your date yet, it can be a gruelling experience. Long dates of more than three hours are therefore only recommended if you’ve met before.
To fill the time, the date can feel like an interview. You have to have something to talk about and asking questions on the date is only normal. But asking hundreds of date questions to fill the time? No one wants that. If the date goes on for a long time, you and the other person will come home feeling like you’ve been interrogated.
Long date: 3+ hours
A long date also runs the risk of it becoming super awkward . What if you don’t feel any chemistry at all? Or worse: it turns out you don’t like each other at all. If you already hate awkward silences on a date, prepare for two awkward hours.
The extra time you take on a long date could also make you bored. You do n’t know what to say anymore , and neither does the other person. There you are, speechless. The mood is gone, the enthusiasm is nowhere to be found: if only you had gone for a shorter date…
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