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How long does a burnout last? Seriously my most searched question on Google during my recovery. What do you think? No decent answer can be found, not on the internet and not from the doctor.
Last week I happened to talk to my GP about this for a while because it turns out: GPs simply don’t know how to deal with this burnout tsunami among young women. Fortunately, my doctor is honest about this and has a curious attitude. He asked me for tools and information. How did I recover? What have I done? What did I need now?
A wonderful development, don’t you think? Because what I missed most from agencies and care providers were concrete, useful tools and recognition. It is quite nice to know that you are not suddenly screwed overnight, but that some things are simply due to your burnout. That’s why a quick shoutout to Josine, who started this website for exactly the same reason.
Today I want to do my part by once again throwing some guidance into the world. No, I cannot give you an exact end date because everyone recovers and experiences their burnout differently. Some people return to work quietly after 3 months, while others simply go through life with trial and error for two years. What I can do is describe the phases I went through. You may recognize the phases and you may even be able to place yourself in a phase. Again, just to be clear, everyone experiences burnout differently. Yet I have noticed that many burnouters recognize themselves in my recovery process.
Also read: How haptotherapy helped me recover from my burnout
First phase of your burnout: reset
When I describe a burnout, I always say that it felt like all the stops had gone and someone had pressed my reset button. I estimate that it took at least a month before I could even have a conversation again without immediately bursting into tears. The advantage of the extremeness of my burnout was that the GP immediately had blood tests done and already indicated that she knew it was a burnout. The diagnosis gave me some peace of mind to call in sick and stay home. I have never felt as unsafe as I felt that month. Fortunately, I have very sweet family around me who supported me where necessary so that I could sleep, eat healthily, shower, paint, watch TV and… oh yes, did I mention sleep?
Second phase: resignation
The next 2 to 3 months it was particularly important to learn to let go. In my experience, my absence from work increased the workload for my colleagues even more. I felt guilty and pressured to get better ‘quickly’. Step by step I learned how to let go and become more resigned to the fact that I was ill and would get better on its own. Every day I could do a little more, go to the supermarket, go for a walk and even visit a friend briefly. During this phase I also started meditation and yoga, which helped me enormously!
Third phase: identity crisis
The third phase was just as tough as the first phase, but in a completely different way. In the six months that followed, I felt like I had to get to know myself again. Who am I? What do I like? What gives me energy? What do I find important in life? Characteristic of this phase is that I have discovered what costs me energy and what gives me energy. It gave me a familiar and safe feeling to take up my old hobbies again. Some hobbies have remained, others disappeared. After a severe relapse, I finally resigned from my job after more than six months. It became clear to me that I was trying to be ‘someone’ that I wasn’t and that certainly didn’t make me feel any better.
Also read: Why Self-love Starts With Recognizing Your Limits
Fourth phase: deployment
This phase lasted at least another six months with continuous trial and error. The severity and duration of ‘lesser’ periods continued to decrease. During this period I mainly looked critically at my personality. As time goes by, I can see more and more clearly when and why this whole burnout misery started. During this period I learned to take good care of myself. Of course I mean physically by eating nutritiously, supporting my adrenal glands with the right vitamins and minerals and by regularly exercising in a relaxing way. But perhaps even more importantly, I have also learned how to take good care of myself psychologically. I have made quite a few changes emotionally and I now set my boundaries much better without having to feel guilty about it.
Fifth phase: life after your burnout
I have currently been in this phase since last late summer. No, I don’t see myself as burnout anymore, but I don’t see myself as completely ‘better’ either. It feels like the burnout has left a scar. My energy level really isn’t what it used to be, but it’s okay for now. I mean, I really can’t work 60-hour weeks right now, but that doesn’t matter because that’s definitely not what I want.
I also get overstimulated easily, a word I had never heard of 3 years ago. I especially feel sorry for the people around me, because how confusing can you be. If someone asks me if I’m ‘better again’, I say yes. Yet in their eyes I am of course no better because I can’t do everything I used to be able to do and I don’t do everything I used to do, so how are you better? Yeah, go ahead and explain that.
The most important thing is that I feel good enough to do what makes me happy. I have honestly never been happier and more myself and I look forward to what other developments I can make. If you are in this phase and you feel like you are ‘stuck’, I would like to help you let go of that urge to be even better, harder, faster and more effective. I am convinced that when you let go, it will come to you naturally.
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