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Have you ever had a crush on someone you knew was out of your league ? And no matter what you tried, it just didn’t work? It can happen to you too, that someone starts to like you, but you don’t feel the same way. It’s a tricky situation, especially when it’s someone you don’t want to lose as a friend.
Most of the time, we look for ways to get someone else to like you . Sometimes, however, we have to find ways to make the opposite happen: to make someone not like you.
Even though it feels like a compliment when you find out someone has a crush on you, it can get pretty annoying when it’s not mutual.
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Does your admirer refuse to listen? Does it seem like you’re talking to deaf ears? And is the message not getting across? It’s hard, but it’s still possible to make it clear that you don’t feel the same way. We’ll tell you about 12 ways to make that happen.
1. Make sure you fully support your decision
Before you even think about being less fun to someone else, it is wise to make sure that you do not see a chance. After all, it can be quite flattering if someone likes you and sometimes flirting can create a nice tension. This can make you feel something for the other person. Despite a lack of initial attraction, you could grow closer.
Are you absolutely sure that you do not see the other person in a romantic way? Then it is only fair to stop it in time. Do not string the other person along and do not hurt the other person unnecessarily because of your indecisiveness.
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2. Clearly state your boundaries
Are you sure that someone likes you and that it will never happen the other way around? Then it is time to talk to the other person. Clearly state your boundaries, do not flirt and stop sharing personal information. It is not easy to reject someone in a conversation, but it is the clearest way not to give false hope. If you are lucky, a conversation is enough to make this person stop.
3. Try not to be mean
There is a difference between being honest and direct and being mean and rude. We are talking about feelings here. How would you like to be rejected if it were the other way around? It is important that you tell from your own feelings. Do not mention all the things that irritate you about the other person, but stick to your own feelings. However you bring it, it will of course hurt the other person. But this does not mean that you have to be mean. Deliver the message tactfully to ease the pain for the other person.
4. Don’t be ambiguous
Whether you choose to have the conversation in person or over the phone, the most important thing is that the other person understands that it will never and can never be anything. Being vague about where you stand gives the other person false hope and will only prolong the problem. Keep the conversation short and make sure you get your point across as clearly as possible.
5. Stick to your position
“It’s not going to work out between us.” A clear sentence like this unfortunately doesn’t help everyone. Because if someone is really in love with you, he or she can just switch off this feeling. Out of desperation or because they are unable to take ‘no’ for an answer, they can keep trying.
They see in romantic movies that persistence pays off and think: “I can do that too.” But real life is not a movie. Whatever you do, be determined and consistent in the boundaries you set. It is the only way to get the message across without multiple interpretations.
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6. Spend less time with the other person
Have you recently expressed your disinterest but then asked them to meet up? This could send the wrong message. Spending time with someone who has a crush on you may be a nice ego boost, but it’s not exactly fair to them. The time you spend together can make them hold on to their feelings for you.
7. Ignore the other person
If you try too hard to show the person that you don’t like them, it will seem like you still care – on some level. Remember that complete radio silence is also a message. If you ignore what the other person is doing and just go about your life, it tells the other person that you mean it.
8. Let the friendship fade away
Are you friends with the person who has feelings for you? If the message doesn’t get across or they won’t take no for an answer, the situation can unfortunately become very toxic for the friendship. The only thing you can do then is let the friendship fade away. Although it may be very painful, it can be very difficult to maintain the friendship.
It is nearly impossible to maintain a friendship where one person has feelings for the other and finds it hard to accept that the other person does not feel the same. By giving each other space, you can both move on at some point.
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9. Flirt with everyone
If you’ve tried all the previous steps and the message still isn’t getting through, it’s time for some tougher measures. People in love can wear rose-colored glasses and keep hoping through the blurred vision. The solution? Make it clear that there’s no chance of a possible relationship by flirting with everyone… except the one who likes you.
Jealousy is an emotion that you can always count on. No one likes to see a crush on someone else. Let alone that this person is visibly attracted to someone else and not to you. It will be unpleasant for the person who has a crush on you, but sometimes it is necessary to show that he or she has no chance.
10. Block the other person on social media
Out of sight, out of mind. The saying is not without reason. It is important to limit your interaction with the other person. And if that is not enough, avoid all interaction. For example, not only spend less time with them in person, but also block the person on social media.
Everything happens on social media these days, people even fall in love without ever seeing each other in real life . By denying them access to your social media and online presence, you cut off most of their access to you as a person. And that is exactly how you reduce unwanted attention.
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11. Get your friends involved
If the person who likes you just won’t get the message, it’s time to involve others. Especially if it’s someone in your group of friends, it’s not a bad idea to involve a few mutual friends. Explain the problem, discuss the options, and organize an intervention. It may be a bit embarrassing, but if you notice that the other person doesn’t want to listen to you, maybe they will listen to others.
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12. Involve the police
Calling the authorities: it is the last option you have. But sometimes it is necessary when all attempts to be reasonable fail. Are you dealing with someone who has an obsessive love for you? Or is the situation slowly starting to resemble stalking ? Then you cannot handle this on your own.
Keep your friends and family informed and tell them all the details. And if you really feel unsafe, get the police involved. Ask how to handle the situation and keep your distance in the meantime.
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