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When someone asks you what type of guy you like, your answer is always: charming and ambitious. So when you get a match on a dating app with Tim, a self-proclaimed ambitious guy, you’re excited to meet him. However, Tim turns out to be not the type of guy you’re used to. He’s very sweet, friendly, and helpful, and he always seems willing to do what you want. Although you’re impressed by how attentive he is, you don’t really feel the urge to be with him.
You enjoy talking and laughing with understanding Tim, but you miss the excitement and adventure that you are used to in your previous relationships. Tim may be charming, but at the same time he never really seems to have his own opinion and that is why you find it difficult to feel a real connection with him. That makes you wonder: is he too nice for me?
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When is a man too nice?
On one hand, it’s great to have someone so kind and thoughtful. A man like Tim is able to understand your thoughts and feelings, even when they differ from his own. Empathy is a nice quality. He can relate to your perspective and that can be very refreshing if you don’t know that.
On the other hand, it can sometimes feel like he gives too much of himself. This is the case when he subordinates his own needs and desires to yours, without you asking for it. When this happens, the man adapts too much to your wishes, without respecting his own opinion or boundaries. Besides the fact that this can lead to a lack of balance, it can also make you find him too boring.
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9 Reasons Why ‘Too Nice’ Is a Problem
When it comes to dating, being sweet is attractive . But being too sweet? That’s a turn-off. There’s a subtle but important difference between the two. So it’s not that women aren’t attracted to sweet guys by definition. On the contrary, many women find caring and kindness to be attractive qualities in a partner.
The problem comes when a man isn’t just nice, he’s too nice. That’s when he’s too polite and doesn’t stand up for himself or his needs. And that can be a turn-off for women. Here are nine reasons why being “too nice” is a problem.
1. It arises from a lack
Niceness comes from self-confidence . By being nice to you, he shows that he respects you and wants to fulfill your needs. Being too nice comes from a lack of self-confidence. He doesn’t value what he has to offer. In order to make you like him and stay with him, he sacrifices his own needs – just to please you.
2. It is weak
A man who is too nice to you sacrifices his own needs for you, which can come across as weak or desperate. Setting boundaries and standards is sexy because it shows trust. Not having boundaries is not.
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3. There is an imbalance
A man who doesn’t stand up for himself and his needs has a hard time saying no . This can lead to an unequal power relationship . If he does too much for you and asks for too little in return, this can lead to a situation where you have too much power and he has too little.
4. The passion is missing
If a guy is too nice, the relationship can feel dull and passionless. It’s nice that he’s nice, but if he’s too nice, it can lead to a lack of excitement. This is because if he doesn’t challenge you or push your boundaries, the spark can fade.
5. No novelties
A man who does everything you want is giving up on his own personal growth. If he is always trying to please you, it can lead to giving up on his own goals. And that is not in anyone’s interest.
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6. No challenge
In a relationship, challenge is needed to keep things exciting. With a partner who is too nice, this rarely happens or not at all. If he is too nice, he may not give you honest feedback that can help you grow as a person. In other words: he talks to you and does not challenge you.
7. Conflicts are not resolved
It can be difficult to resolve arguments or have constructive conversations when a guy is too nice to you. For example, he may hesitate to speak his mind for fear of hurting your feelings. Or he may go along with what you want to keep the peace when he really wants something different.
8. No disagreements
Another obstacle you may face is that he does not want to engage in discussions. He prefers to look for a compromise and avoids arguments at all costs. Sometimes this feels like a relief and other times it feels like you are sweeping problems under the carpet. Always arguing is not good, but not arguing is not always good either.
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9. Choking
If your partner is too nice, it can lead to a feeling of suffocation . Being in a relationship with someone who always wants to do things for you and is always willing to help can feel overwhelming and suffocating. Your sense of autonomy in a relationship can disappear, as can your personal space. If your partner is too nice, he or she can make you feel like your freedom and independence are being taken away.
Ultimately, a nice guy can have a lot of benefits. But if he’s too nice, it can make you lose respect for him. And you can’t build attraction for someone you no longer respect. While being nice is generally a good thing, being too nice can actually drive people away.
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