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It’s been a little less than two days. You’re lying in bed, staring at your phone screen one more time. You sigh in disappointment. He hasn’t texted you back after that amazing first date, and you’re probably wondering, “What the hell did I do wrong?” He’s gone, off the face of the earth, and you couldn’t wait for the next date.
In a world where you can find a date by swiping from left to right, men seem to have become even more complacent. But while your first instinct is that he is no longer interested in you, that is not always the case. Today I will explain exactly how that works. Because it may all turn out to be a false alarm.
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Ghosting: Gone is Gone?
For almost everything that has to do with online and lifestyle, we have a trendy term and so the world of online dating should not be left behind. Ghosting stands for the phenomenon that the person you are dating disappears from your life from one moment to the next. Without any announcement, it is suddenly over between the two of you, just like that, out of nowhere.
The annoying thing is that you have no idea why he suddenly disappeared. With the ease of online dating, however, we see that people are breaking off contact more and more easily. Actually, that is not so strange, because with a dating app you can decide with a single swipe whether or not you like someone.
Making contact is also a piece of cake.
Now that finding a date has become easier, we apparently also find it more normal to break off contact. It is striking that ghosting does not only occur after measurement moments such as the first date or the first time you slept together. Ghosting can occur in different situations:
After chatting
It happens when you chat briefly with each other but also after having had intensive chat contact for a longer period of time. For whatever reason, you have not yet seen each other in person, but you do have the feeling that you have already gotten to know your intended date reasonably well. It is all the more annoying that he suddenly seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth. Since you have never seen each other, it is quite difficult to estimate what the reason is.
After the first date
You’ve seen each other now and you liked it. However, he seems a little less enthusiastic, because since the goodbye kiss, the contact is over. You’re annoyed, because as far as you’re concerned, there will be a second date and you’ll add a few more dates.
You also want answers as soon as possible about why he is doing this. Did you say something wrong? Is it because of that bright skirt you were wearing? Or maybe it is something else entirely: maybe he is waiting for you to contact him.
After a while relationship
Dating has turned into a relationship and you are very happy with your new partner. It is all the more painful when he suddenly disappears after you have been in a relationship for a few months. Okay, it is all still quite new, but you feel like there is definitely a future in it. Ghosting after being in a relationship for a while feels like a real slap in the face. And yet it happens.
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Why? The 8 most common reasons
Which brings me to my next point: the why question. Because no matter what situation ghosting occurs in, it always hurts. One moment it’s still really nice and the next moment there’s complete radio silence . Anyone who has to deal with ghosting is left with a lot of unanswered questions. You want to know if it’s because of you, him, or a combination of factors.
So it could be that something serious has happened, who knows? You can’t know this way. Despite the multitude of possible scenarios, there are a number of common reasons:
1. He plays hard to get
You haven’t hidden your enthusiasm and he wants to know how crazy you really are about him. He’s secretly waiting for your message and therefore thinks it’s your turn. But if he really likes you, he’ll send a message within 48 hours. Or okay, within 24 hours. Playing hard to get, don’t we all do that sometimes?
2. He’s not ready for a relationship
He showed that he was ready for a relationship, but when push comes to shove, he doesn’t want any obligations. And who can blame him: he’s still very young, has no shortage of female attention, and is just thinking about making a career change. He really likes you, but apparently the timing isn’t right.
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3. You are not alone
Although many people would rather not hear this, it does happen regularly: you are not the only one in the game. Yes, he is very guilty, but can you actually say anything about it? If you are still dating, it is all still in the early stages. After all, you are not in a relationship yet and therefore he does not have to answer to you. At least not yet.
4. Maybe he’s too busy
Okay, we know that texting doesn’t take a lot of time, but still. Maybe he’s really busy and wants to take his time to get back to you. To get an idea of that, you can go by what you know about him.
Is he home all day and still living with mom? Or does he work 40+ hours and has a whole list of responsibilities? Try to take this into account before you judge.
5. He doesn’t want to know anything about you (in your face)
Sorry to be so blunt, but sometimes this is the only explanation. He doesn’t want anything to do with you, for whatever reason. I could go on and on about the possible explanations, but it’s not going to change much. It simply wasn’t meant to be.
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6. The date was disappointing
Not all dates go equally well. It can happen of course, but that does mean that he will feel less called to come back to you. Too bad, especially if you are interested in him. So think back to what he was doing during the date.
Did he seem a bit bored and give short answers? Then maybe you went on a bit too long about your ex. If you want to make a second attempt, then it is your turn to make contact. But then you will have to think about what really needs to be done better next time.
7. Panic attack: it’s getting too much
One person may feel more comfortable with dating than another. Remember that dating is a very personal thing. Maybe he’s just gotten out of a relationship or maybe he’s just having trouble expressing his feelings. Everyone communicates in their own way and maybe he doesn’t know how to go about it. It may be a bit of a clumsy thing, but that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the story.
8. Dating with a different purpose
The connection was good, but still, his reasons for dating are very different from yours. While you are looking for a serious relationship, he prefers to take it a bit easier. Or maybe the exact opposite is true. Either way, dating is going in a way that he does not like at the moment. That is why he has decided to take some distance.
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Be careful
If he decides to ghost, it doesn’t necessarily have to be your fault . With a little subtlety, there is often a solution possible. In many cases, this means that you have to distance yourself a bit. If you decide to constantly chase him, it will probably backfire. Maybe he needs some time to process everything and get it in order.
But be aware that you have the right to answers. Therefore, try to find out carefully why he is avoiding contact for the time being. Because ultimately you want to know if it is a false alarm or really the end of the story? Either way, time will tell (how cliché that may sound).
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