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Marital problems should be resolved, not ignored. A marriage has to be worked on to keep it good. The sun rises for nothing and to keep a marriage going well and not let it fail, both partners must put in the necessary energy.
So to prevent your marriage from ending prematurely, you do everything you can. But sometimes you can simply run into problems that you can hardly solve by yourself, just the two of you. Is your marriage in dire straits and do you no longer know how to save it? Then call in the help of a professional to solve the problems.
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Need help with marital problems?
If you are having problems in your marriage, first take a good look at what exactly is going on. That way you can get the best person to help you solve the problems. You can involve several people in your marriage problems, such as a social worker, a psychologist or a relationship therapist. And it is not so that you have to stop at the help of one person, but you can also involve more people to help you.
Different problems with different causes
Many good marriages fall into crisis because during a marriage people forget how much work it takes to keep the relationship healthy and thriving. Children, work, hobbies and personal interests can reduce attention to each other. And that happens in almost every relationship.
A dip in the relationship is therefore unavoidable, no matter how hard you try. But it does not mean the end of the marriage: the relationship can still be saved . Marital problems can have many causes, but also different consequences. And depending on the problems and the consequences, there are different parties who can help you with this.
The social worker
If the problems are mainly social, you can choose to engage a social worker. For example, you can think of problems such as cultural differences that are difficult to bridge, financial problems or arguments about the children and their upbringing. You can engage a social worker to list existing problems and find a solution together with you and your partner.
A social worker is there to help everyone and can therefore be called upon by everyone. They can be found everywhere, so that is not so complicated. You can contact social work via your municipality: for example via a neighbourhood team or the Wmo counter. 1
If the social worker comes to help you with marital problems, they will have contact with both you and your partner and with the children, if necessary. This way they can best tackle your problems and find a solution.
If the social worker cannot find a solution themselves or if other (more specialized) help is needed, they can refer you to a specialist or another agency.
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What can a social worker do for you?
You can choose to visit a social worker once, but several times is often better. They can look at the situation better and come up with solutions if you stay in touch. Many social workers have walk-in consultation hours when you can come in for more information. But it is also possible that they come to visit you at home to become better informed about the situation.
A social worker can offer a solution if you have too much on your mind and can no longer see the problems. Often a plan is made that you and your partner can stick to in order to solve the marital problems.
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The psychologist
If a social worker cannot provide a solution to your problems, or if they are so specialized that they do not fall within his or her area of expertise, you can turn to another care provider for marital problems. If you have marital problems that are about emotional infidelity , or about intimacy problems, jealousy or a midlife crisis , you can choose to call in a psychologist to help. These are of course just a few examples: a psychologist can help with many complaints.
What can a psychologist do for you?
Not everyone is equally inclined to go to a psychologist with their problems, because they first want to solve them themselves. However, are you no longer able to talk about your problems together and are you unable to resolve them, because communicating in a normal way is not possible and always ends in an argument or something else? A psychologist can then list the problems for you and see where the bottlenecks are.
Problems always have a cause
If the problems are mental in nature, a psychologist can often provide a solution. They have extensive experience in this area and often know how to put their finger on the sore spot so that they can try to solve the existing problem, together with you and your partner. Marital problems may have existed for a short time, but it is also possible that they have a deeper cause that dates from a much earlier period in your life.
If this is the case, the psychologist will try to find out and see what influence this has on your current life. Once a problem has been found, a tailor-made solution can be found so that your problems are easier to deal with.
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The relationship therapist
Most people will initially want to discuss marital problems with each other, because after all, they are private matters. Are you unable to resolve the issue or are the problems no longer easy to manage? Then you can also choose to visit a special relationship therapist. A therapist can offer you assistance in many areas so that your problems can be properly listed together with you so that something can actually be done about them.
Many people let relationship problems lie quietly until they reach a certain point where the bomb explodes. And then the consequences are sometimes barely manageable. In order not to let it get to that point, choosing relationship therapy is often not a bad choice.
Friends or family
Do you find a relationship therapist to be a waste of time or an exaggerated hassle, or do you not want to talk to an outsider about your problems? But are you struggling with problems in your marriage, of whatever nature? If you cannot resolve it together, you can also enlist the help of good friends or family to support you.
Communication remains the most important thing when it comes to problems and it is important that you keep talking to your partner to find a solution to your problems. Do you have friends or family that you can talk to and who can help you with certain problems? Then ask for help, but make sure that they do not get into trouble themselves.
What should you pay attention to?
If you are looking for help with your marital problems and engage a professional, it is important that you find someone who can actually help you and who has a BIG registration.
The BIG registration is provided by the Ministry of Health, Welfare and Sport and can be given to healthcare providers in all kinds of areas. These can be doctors or nurses, but psychologists, social workers or relationship therapists can also register with the register. If they have done this and are registered in it, they may use their professional title and perform certain (medical) procedures independently.
They obviously need a valid diploma for registration and the registration must be renewed once every five years. If you, as a client, have problems with a care provider, they can be punished or investigated because they are subject to disciplinary law.
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Good help guaranteed
The most important thing for you as a client of a specialist who has a BIG registration behind his or her name is that you are assured that you are dealing with someone who is qualified and who is also legally allowed to carry out the work that he or she does. . This way you have the greatest certainty that you will end up with a good counselor who can actually help you or can refer you to someone else if they cannot resolve it themselves.
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