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Does this title describe your feelings a little? While some singles proudly call themselves happily single , you are so tired of being single that you lose courage. A wall that doesn’t talk back, a plant that you never take in your arms to say ‘it’ll be okay’. As a single person, there are all kinds of needs that are not being met. And at some point you are fed up with it.
Too much me-time bores. Talking to yourself too. Maybe you already know how nice it is to be in a loving relationship and you long for that warmth around you. Or you have never experienced it and see everyone around you being happy in their relationships. “I want that too!” There are plenty of reasons to be tired of life as a single.
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What to do
It’s simple: you have two choices. Either you learn to embrace being single and enjoy the benefits, or you work hard to find a different relationship status. But if you’re tired of the single life, chances are that only the second choice is a viable option. So, what do you do?
Option 1: Accept being single
Do you hate the idea of being alone? Don’t worry, there’s really no reason to be. Here are nine things you need to remember if you want to embrace your single status.
1. You are already complete
You’ve been in a relationship, and now you feel like a piece of the puzzle is missing? That’s understandable, but here’s the thing: You don’t need someone else to feel whole. You’re not half a person without a partner. Remember, you were born an independent individual, and that hasn’t changed just because you’re single.
2. It comes when it comes
Love is like selling a house. It may take a while, but eventually a buyer will find their way to that house. That’s how it works in love. If you just do your own thing as a single person, the right person will come into your life. Focus on yourself, your work, and your loved ones, and you will see that love will inevitably come your way.
3. Love cannot be forced
No matter how much you want a relationship, you can’t force love. You can’t decide when you fall in love. That’s just not how it works. And the opposite is also true: you can’t force someone else to fall in love with you .
4. You can’t hold on to someone who wants to go away
It hurts to say goodbye, but remember that you can’t force anyone to stay with you. If someone decides to end the relationship, there is a reason for it. Trying to keep someone against their will only complicates the situation. It will never be the same again.
5. You deserve better
It is much better to be single than to be stuck in a relationship with someone who is not good for you. If you find yourself making excuses for your partner’s mistakes, that is a red flag. Stop ignoring the bad things and stop telling yourself that this person is great when deep down you know that is not true. You are worth more than that.
6. You are not an option
Being single is not nearly as bad as being in a half-baked relationship where you are only considered an “almost” partner. An “almost” relationship is not a real relationship. Don’t let anyone half-win your heart. It’s all or nothing, and if it’s not all, being single is better.
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7. You are not alone
When you suddenly find yourself alone, it can feel pretty lonely at first. But remember this: you are not alone. You still have your friends and family around you. Let go of the idea of loneliness and embrace the fact that there are thousands of people in the same situation as you.
8. There is no time pressure
When you reach a certain age, you sometimes feel pressured to achieve certain things: a relationship, children, or both. But remember that there is no set deadline for these things. You don’t have to be married by 30 and have children by 32. There is nothing to be ashamed of if you are still single at that age . Everyone understands that life sometimes doesn’t go as planned, and that luck plays a role in finding the right person.
9. A relationship doesn’t solve everything
Being single can sometimes seem boring and lonely, but that doesn’t automatically mean that a relationship will make everything better. If you already have problems with yourself as a single person, a relationship won’t solve those problems. It’s not a magic solution. Even in a relationship, you can still feel lonely and unhappy. So work on yourself while you’re single so that you can confidently enter a relationship later.
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Option 2: Find a relationship
Love doesn’t just fall from the sky. Sure, there are singles who have all the luck in the world and find the needle in the haystack without looking, but those are the exceptions. More often than not, it’s a mindset to make yourself available for a relationship. Because let’s face it: if you don’t take riding lessons, you won’t meet the prince or princess on the white horse either.
1. Make demands on the relationship, not on the partner
Bright blue eyes, dark brown long hair, romantic, career-oriented and you have ten more essential qualities on your partner checklist. Do you realize how difficult it is to find someone who meets all these qualities? Therefore, do not make demands on a potential partner, but on the potential relationship.
This makes it easier to determine whether someone is relationship material or not. Will this person make me happy? Would we do fun things often? Is this someone who will support me when I’m having a hard time? These are the questions you need to ask yourself.
2. Don’t settle for less
Your desire for a relationship can be a disadvantage for the choices you make. Out of habit or to avoid being alone and lonely, you may settle for ‘less’. What you get then is a relationship shell: beautiful on the outside, empty on the inside. And no, that is not better than no relationship at all. Because such relationships do not last forever and before you know it you are back to square one: single and tired of it.
“The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.” ― Maureen Dowd
3. Join a dating app
If you’re tired of being single, it’s time to open yourself up to other people. That is, even the people you wouldn’t approach in public. And what better way to do that than on one of the dating apps . Maybe you’ve tried it, maybe you haven’t. But dating apps open up a world of new and intriguing people who are also looking to meet someone.
Plus, signing up for an app is a quick and easy way to make yourself available to potential partners. Since your smartphone is in your hand for hours a day anyway, you might as well use it to connect with other singles. Here are the top three dating apps right now (besides Tinder):
4. Ask for the connection
It’s old-fashioned, but it works. In fact, it used to be one of the primary ways people met: getting set up. If you want to be proactive in your dating life, you need to take the initiative and let others know that you’re open to suggestions. Whether it’s a work colleague, a friend, or your fitness instructor, asking if they know someone to set you up with can have a number of benefits for your love life.
First, it lets others know that you are single and ready to mingle . If they don’t know someone who might be a good fit for you right away, they will think of you the next time they meet someone. By being open and honest with others about your availability for a relationship, you will receive their help in finding a partner.
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5. Go out
It’s great to spend your weekends in your pajamas, binging ‘ La Casa de Papel ‘ . But that won’t get you anywhere in your love life. It’s time to get out of your comfort zone, literally and figuratively, if you’re tired of binge-watching by yourself.
What you need is a shake-up in your daily routine so that you meet more and different people. Get out there: attend local events, take classes, or join group sports. When you put yourself out there and meet new people, you increase your chances of meeting someone.
6. Participate in singles activities
Do you know what makes singles activities so special? That there are only singles. That is, everyone you talk to is single. And everyone who talks to you is also single. In every region there are regular singles parties , but there are also dating sites that organize dinners and other activities for singles. It may sound intimidating or awkward, but it can be a great way to meet people who you already know want to meet others.
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7. Accept that being single is temporary
“Don’t give up, it will happen.” “Don’t worry, you will find someone someday.” Honestly, are n’t you sick and tired of the clichés ? But somehow all these busybodies are right. Statistically speaking, almost no one stays single forever unless they consciously choose to. It may take a while before you meet someone you click with, but that moment will come.
8. Change your attitude
If you are tired of being single, it is time to clear your mind of all the negative and pessimistic thoughts about your relationship status. You will not be single forever . So there is no reason to be afraid that you will not meet anyone. Once and for all: get it out of your mind because it reduces your chances of finding love. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy: you get what you think. If you keep telling yourself that you will never meet someone, then you will not.
While finding the right person takes time and energy, a positive attitude is an important part of the process. Being single is not a definitive term for your relationship status, it is part of the journey to a relationship.
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