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It may have happened to you before: you met a nice guy and you even feel emotionally connected to him. In a perfect world, he would feel exactly the same, but you increasingly get the idea that with him it’s all about the sex.
You therefore want to get out of this phase as quickly as possible and move on to something that consists of more than just sex. There’s just one problem: if it’s up to him, you’ll remain friends with benefits while you want more. Unfortunately, not all men treat your feelings and needs equally lovingly.
It is therefore not surprising that many women are afraid of being used as a sex toy. While women are quick to think about relationships and stability, men are looking for other things. Do you recognize this image and do you ask yourself what to do with it?
Why does he only want sex?
Look, you know what it actually is: a fuck buddy is very beneficial for men. They receive all the benefits that come with a real relationship, but without having to meet the additional obligations. In other words: they do not compromise on their freedom. When transitioning from strict sexual contact to a relationship, it changes into something that hinders him. And that’s where the problem begins.
Because while you have feelings for him, you already notice that there is something strange during the contact between the two of you. Every time you end up in bed quickly, often too quickly. But you are in love and don’t see everything clearly. Time to wake up.
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15 Signs to Watch Out For
Reason enough to give you a number of signals that you can pay attention to. Because if you try to look at things objectively, you will often see that the man behaves differently after you have had sex with each other. However, that does not immediately mean that you will be heartlessly cast aside by every man after you have slept together. On the contrary.
Many women think they can easily see through this behavior, because if a man were to use me for sex, he would definitely be rude. Well, not at all. Just because a man uses you for sex doesn’t necessarily mean he’s being a jerk or that he can’t do fun things with you.
The real players try to keep the contact warm and subtly wrap you around their fingers. A man can therefore be very sweet to you, but still use you for sex. How do you recognize this? By recognizing the following 15 signals.
1. No foreplay, just the real thing
Okay, it’s different when you’re a goddess with such an exceptional body that the man doesn’t want to miss an inch of you, but let’s be real: only in the most perfect erotic film is there ample time for foreplay. It’s a different story if he really has feelings for you. If not, men are happy to move on to the real work without wasting time.
Do you notice that this is also the case with you? Then there are no feelings involved and you could therefore conclude that you are nothing more than a sex buddy. A man who really loves you also wants to let you enjoy yourself in bed.
2. You’ve never met his friends
Of course, it depends a bit on how long you’ve known each other, but if you’ve been sleeping together for a while but you’ve never met his friends, then a red flag should ring. No, he has no future plans with you.
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3. You only see each other late at night
If you really like someone , it doesn’t matter what time of day you’re together. However, if you notice that he only comes out to you during the late hours, that’s not a good sign at all. And certainly not in the middle of the night with a drink. A nice man also wants to see you when it’s still light outside. And preferably in public places.
4. Fine words, no actions
That it is not only about nice words, but also about actions, we all know that. But charming talk without making it true, you will really have to learn to see through that. He can try to charm you with nice stories, but he will really have to prove his feelings at some point, if he has any feelings for you at all.
5. He avoids you when you’re on your period
Do you see each other regularly, but have you noticed that he is increasingly nowhere to be seen when you have your period? Then that is no coincidence. Do you regularly watch ‘a movie together’? Then you would have to make the same proposal and only report that you have your period at a later time. Does he suddenly cancel? Then you know what to do. Ditch the bastard.
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6. He acts like having sex with him is a privilege
If he wants to keep you as a sex buddy, you will also see that he will try to play psychological games . Because of course not every woman wants to be used and men have all kinds of techniques to make them believe otherwise. One of the techniques is that he will make you believe that having sex with him is a privilege. You are supposedly the chosen one and, although it is all a bit disappointing in practice, he also pretends that his qualities in bed are of an exceptional level. In the meantime you know better.
7. You’re not his top priority
Of course, you often have contact with each other via the app and you always look forward to it. However, this is also one of the ways in which you can recognize how important you are to him. Do you notice that he is online, but does not immediately respond to your messages? Then we can rightly say that you are not his top priority. And we all know how different that is when you are head over heels in love with someone. Logical, sometimes other things take priority, but if you are structurally skipped, then it is time to draw your conclusions.
8. He talks about sex a lot
Whether it’s via the app or a phone call; most conversations between you and him are sexually tinged. Do you want to change tack and have deeper conversations with him? Then you will soon see that he drags the conversation back to a sexual topic. Instead of asking you how your day was, he asks you for a spicy photo and instead of listening to you, he doesn’t seem to care what you are thinking. But hey, with this tip that will never happen to you again, at least we hope.
9. He helps you leave
You’ve only been in there for 5 minutes and it’s that time again: you’re taking off your clothes and you’re already in the bedroom. Barely two minutes later you’re done and you (or at least he) are lying exhausted on the bed. He insists on taking a shower and when you walk back into the bedroom, you see that he has already neatly gathered all your things.
In fact, he helps you get dressed and tells you how tired he is. In other words: it’s time to leave. Okay, we may be exaggerating a bit, but this is not an unusual image. Does this also happen to you regularly when you are with him? Then you are absolutely nothing to him.
10. He is selfish
He is not feeling well or he is even a bit ill at times. Who will take care of him? You. Who is the first person to ask him if he is doing better? You. How disappointing is it when it turns out that you can’t say the same thing when things are a bit more difficult for you? You do everything you can to show interest in him, but that turns out to be anything but the case. It seems as if the word affection is not in his dictionary. While you only give, he is someone who only takes. Get rid of it.
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11. You never go to public places
That brings us to the next point, because there are at most two places where you see each other: either at your place or at his place. Only the first dates were you in public places, but since the first lovemaking that has come to an abrupt end. You would prefer to go to a bar or café, but he is always so tired and does not feel like doing anything.
However, a man who is enthusiastic about you also wants to be seen with you in public. Sure, at the end of the evening you want to play around with him, but it shouldn’t just be about making out. So suggest taking a nice walk or going out for dinner together. Let’s see what he has to say about that.
12. You never sleep together
You can always make love, but he never likes to sleep over. Not at your house and especially not at his house. The next morning he has to get up very early and even on the weekend he supposedly has something to do. If not with friends, then with family or even work. Also quite coincidentally on Sundays. Do you understand our point now?
13. Watching a movie? None of that
Many sexual contacts supposedly start with ‘watching a movie’. Is the film less than two minutes in or has he opened his fly again? Then you should know by now what he means by ‘ Netflix and chilling ‘. Just tell him that you really want to finish watching the movie and just look at his reaction. There’s a good chance he’ll suddenly find the film rubbish. Our movie tip? The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. Lasts 3 hours and 20 minutes.
14. Irregular contact
You often have contact, but there is never any regularity. In fact, you only get texts from him when it suits him. However, if he really cared about you, the messages would be regular. Because the first thing you do when you care about someone is to wish them a nice day. Don’t just let yourself be used for booty calls.
15. Not in the mood? Then it’ll be gone in no time
We are all human and there are enough moments when we do not feel like having sex. It could be that you want to skip today and we do not blame you in that respect. If at such moments it suddenly turns out that the gentleman runs away like a shot, then we can only conclude that he is a downright asshole.
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Tips: you are a sex buddy. What now?
Based on the above signals, there is a chance that you have come to the hard conclusion that he is only using you for sex. What now? Many women continue to doubt , simply because they do not want to believe that it happened to them.
The result? That all kinds of excuses are made to justify the behavior. It is therefore high time to step out of the uncertainty and start making decisions. Even though that may be a bit painful. How do you do that? Some tips.
Stop making excuses
Deep down you know his behavior is unacceptable, but you still don’t want to give in to it. You either like him way too much or you can’t believe it happened to you of all people. Your best friends have said it to you before, but you try to explain his behavior by making excuses. Secretly, however, you know that your best friends are simply right. It’s high time to acknowledge that you are in a sex relationship , not a real relationship.
Don’t let yourself be made insecure
Is the final verdict that you were indeed used as a sex buddy ? Then it is important to accept that and move on. What you should definitely not do is let it make you insecure. The fact that he only wanted to jump into bed with you does not mean that you are not special. Maybe you will also meet someone with whom you only want sexual contact and not a relationship. In itself, this is nothing more than human behavior and the most important thing is therefore to learn to live with it. And to recognize the signals early the next time.
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