Gaslighting Examples: 54 Sentences and Statements from The Gaslighter

Since Donald Trump’s inauguration in January 2017, the term gaslighting has become part of the international lexicon. Trump led a gaslighting campaign during the 2016 election, during his administration, and later in the 2020 election . He lied, cheated, distorted the truth and sent the country into a tailspin of doubt, anger and despair. The ex-president of the United States is a classic gaslighter who made the entire country doubt the truth.

In fact, the term became so popular that Oxford Dictionaries named gaslighting one of the most popular words of 2018. Since then, its popularity has only increased and we hear it more and more often in Dutch vernacular. Maybe because we are all now dealing with political figures who have turned gaslighting into an art. But there is a greater chance that it is someone you would less likely expect it from: your partner.

What is gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that uses brainwashing to make another person doubt reality. It is a tactic to undermine the other person’s reality. By denying facts, the environment or feelings, the person doing it can gain psychological control and power over the other. And no, that’s not a healthy relationship dynamic.

Over time, the perpetrator, or that’s what we can call him, will use different statements to ensure that the victim loses sanity, memory and self-esteem. In the worst case, this can lead to a serious form of emotional abuse .

ALSO READ: How Do You Become A Better Partner for Him and Her? 24 Things to Know

54 sentences and statements from the gaslighter

The bad news is that everyone is susceptible to gaslighting , because it can sometimes be very difficult to spot. Maybe you’ve done it yourself, without even knowing you were gaslighting . Perhaps you did it to stop a conflict, gain control over a vulnerable moment in the relationship or to feel like the ‘boss’ again. What could you have said or done? These are 54 things gaslighters say.

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Feelings

Every time you are angry with your partner, something happens that you don’t agree with, or you want to discuss a problem, you get the wind. You overreact, exaggerate and worry about nothing. These reactions make you doubt yourself and trivialize your feelings.

1. Why are you always so dramatic?
2. Don’t be so paranoid.
3. You’re exaggerating.
4. Do not worry so much.
5. Now you’re acting hysterical again.
6. You’re always so sensitive.
7. You just want to argue.
8. You also take everything way too seriously.
9. Why do you get emotional so quickly?
10. Believe me, it’s your own insecurity.
11. I can’t talk to you when you act like this.
12. You should have known I would react like that.
13. You know it’s because you’re so insecure.
14. Now you’re being irrational.
15. That’s really not the case, it’s because of your insecurity.
16. Don’t you think you’re going a bit too far now?
17. You can’t take a joke at all.
18. You’re the only one I have these problems with.
19. Do you hear yourself?
20. I thought you loved me.
21. This is why no one likes hanging out with you.
22. You must always be right.
23. You always blow everything up.
24. How you react is always out of proportion.
25. Don’t be so jealous.

By repeatedly pushing your feelings aside, the gaslighter plants the seed. Over time, you feel like the problem is you and you lose the confidence to stand up for yourself and your needs.

Lies

You know it’s an outright lie, yet the lie is told with a straight face. And the worst part is that it is persisted even when you know it is not true. For example, the gaslighter denies ever making that rude comment about you. It makes you doubt yourself: “Maybe I heard it wrong?”

26. I hate lies.
27. That is a lie.
28. They all lie to you.
29. They’re just jealous of us.
30. They don’t want me to succeed.
31. That is not true.
32. You know I didn’t do that.
33. I did not say that.
34. You didn’t tell me that.
35. You turn things around.
36. Fake News .

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Memory

One of the main tactics of gaslighting is to make you doubt your own memory. Either they say it never happened, it didn’t happen, or they give you another version of events. If you manage to replace your memories with their own version, it becomes very difficult to believe yourself.

37. That never happened at all.
38. You know you don’t remember things well.
39. I think you forgot.
40. No one believes you, so why should I?
41. You have a very bad memory.
42. We’ve talked about it. Do not you remember?
43. Because you don’t know anymore…
44. I remember we agreed that you would do that.
45. We’ve already talked about this.
46. There is nothing wrong with my memory.

ALSO READ: 43 Things Couples Argue About

Perception

The gaslighter makes you ponder and worry – in doubt about your own perception of reality. This makes it seem like you are the one with the problem. This will make you feel like there is something wrong with you, when that is not the case at all.

47. I don’t see how I did anything wrong.
48. You’re looking at that wrong.
49. You see a pattern that isn’t there.
50. You imagine things.
51. You’re making that up.
52. You’re really the only one who thinks that.
53. You have a vivid imagination.
54. You’re interpreting it wrong.

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