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You met someone on the internet, have a nice (virtual) click and you have been chatting for a while. Now it is finally time for the first date and you are really looking forward to it. But now that the moment is almost there, the nerves are starting to play up. Sweaty armpits, exhausting nerves and racing thoughts are not the ingredients of a first date that is supposed to be fun.
However, it is completely normal to be nervous before a first date. And luckily, there are also some handy tips to calm yourself down when you are nervous. With the tips below, you will be calm again and you can fully enjoy a date again.
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Nervous about the first date
Sometimes it seems like other people don’t have any nerves at all before a date. But whoever says that isn’t being completely honest. Everyone is a little nervous before a first date. Of course, some are more nervous than others, but this is completely normal.
There are several reasons why this happens; you want to look good and you hope to meet someone nice. In your mind, you may have romanticized this person, which means you have set the bar too high for yourself. Combined with the unfamiliarity and unknown, these are enough reasons to get nervous.
Why does this happen?
Nerves usually arise because you create certain expectations in advance. You have been chatting with someone for a while, he or she seems very interesting (or attractive) and now you want to look good. You want to be the best version of yourself and that is of course very exciting. In addition, you do not want there to be awkward silences, for it to be disappointing or for there to be no follow-up date. These are all things to be nervous about, so it is logical that you are nervous about a first date.
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8 Tips to Calm Yourself
Now, of course, there is a difference between healthy tension and uncontrollable nerves. It is important to control your nerves so that you can also enjoy the date. Here are the best tips to calm yourself down.
1. Choose a relaxed date location
To reduce the nerves before a date, you can do some preparations in advance. For example, by choosing a date location where you feel comfortable, the nerves will be a lot less. You know where you are going and where you are, so that is already a factor that you do not have to stress about.
2. Prepare well
If you have to choose your outfit and figure out how to get to your location an hour before your date, this can cause a lot of extra nerves. It is therefore a good tip to prepare yourself well in advance. Plan enough time to get ready and choose the clothes you are going to wear the night before. This way you do not have to hesitate for a long time about your wardrobe and you go prepared.
3. Let go of expectations
Most first date nerves come from setting expectations. You may have come up with a bunch of scenarios about how the date will go, and you hope that it will live up to all of them. However, a date never goes exactly as planned, so try to let go of all your expectations. Go into the date with an open mind and let everything wash over you.
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4. Don’t be afraid of what to say
One of the biggest nerves before a date is the fear of saying the wrong thing or having awkward silences. But why worry about that now? Try to put those thoughts out of your head. If there is a connection, the conversation will flow naturally. You don’t have to treat the first date as an interview and often the conversation flows naturally.
If you really don’t know whether you can think of enough to talk about, you can always prepare yourself and think of some questions to ask. That way you always have something ready when the conversation threatens to come to a standstill. Some questionnaires that can help you with that:
- 101 questions for a good conversation
- 86 Interesting Questions for an Engaging Conversation
- 206 conversation starter questions
- 101 Questions to Ask Someone You Like (But Don’t Know Well Yet)
5. Realize that the other person is nervous too
You are definitely not the only one who is nervous about your date. Everyone is. By realizing that the person sitting across from you is also feeling that tension, some of the tension will already subside. You are both making yourself vulnerable and it is good to keep that in mind.
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6. Go for an active date
The activity you are going to do during your date can have a big influence on the excitement during the date. If you sit opposite each other for dinner, this is immediately a lot more exciting than if it is more casual. It feels official and you only have each other to talk to and no other form of distraction.
That’s why it’s wiser to go for an active date as a first date . By doing something active, you take away some of the awkwardness, you feel better about yourself and you can do something else besides talking. A few examples:
- Let out your aggression and take a boxing class together
- Play laser tag together
- Go swimming in a tropical pool
- Visit a trampoline park
7. Pamper yourself
In addition to preparing yourself well for your date, you can also make this process a bit more relaxing. You can of course get ready, but how nice is it to relax for a while. Take a warm bath, read a nice book , put on some music while getting ready; all things that provide distraction and relaxation. Because you build up less nerves before the date, you will also feel a lot less tension during the date.
8. Let things take their course
You can prepare yourself endlessly, read tips and practice conversations in your head, but the most important thing is to let things take their course. Worrying is the reason why many people are afraid of dating . Take everything as it comes and calmly see how the date goes. Don’t think too much, but just try to enjoy the company. Is the date not so nice after all? Then at least you have gained some more life experience and you have a nice story to tell your children later.
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