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After yet another lonely Christmas , you’re fed up. You don’t want to be alone anymore. Life seems so much better if you had someone to keep you company. And we’re not talking about just anyone, but a steady partner. Someone who suits you and is suitable to be your life partner. The only question is: how do you find this person?
Do you feel ready for a relationship, but have not met a single suitable candidate to date? Or have you had relationships with people who were not good for you? We will tell you more about finding a suitable partner.
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Why Finding a Partner is Hard
Finding a suitable partner is not easy. It is complicated and extremely difficult.
Sometimes it is just a matter of bad timing and you happen to miss the perfect match every day. Sometimes it can also be that you are too demanding of potential partners. And it can also be that you simply do not view love and romance the same way as others, which can make it difficult to find a good match.
In other cases, it may also be that you do not open yourself up to meeting new people. This is the case, for example, if you are shy , introverted or have to deal with social anxiety. These can all prevent you from communicating with others, which makes it harder to find a partner. In short, there are several reasons why it can be difficult to find a suitable partner. But that does not mean that it is a hopeless situation.
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8 tips to find a good match
Some people are lucky in their search, while others simply have a harder time finding a suitable partner. It is important to remember that everyone is unique and what works for one person may not necessarily work for another. Ultimately, it is all about staying positive and continuing to search for someone who is right for you.
There are a few things you can do to make it easier for yourself to find a suitable partner. Even if you think you will never find a partner. These tips can help you find a suitable partner faster.
1. Ask yourself what you are really looking for
Have you ever wondered what you really find important in a relationship? Which relationship values do you value and which do you not? This can relate to emotional aspects such as communication, trust and respect, but also practical aspects such as lifestyle and future plans.
It can also help to think about what kind of personality and values you appreciate in others. By listing these things, you can get a better idea of what you are looking for in a relationship.
For example, make a list of qualities you want in a person and in a relationship. Then list the things you won’t compromise on, also known as deal breakers , such as smoking, children, and other traits. This can help you narrow down your search for someone who meets your criteria, and it can also help you determine whether a person is right for you to be in a relationship with – not the other way around.
Try not to write down only superficial things like “black hair,” “athletic body,” and “dark brown eyes.” These things can distract you from what is really important to be happy with someone. They are pres, nothing more. Here are some things you can write down:
- Communication skills: talking openly and honestly about feelings and needs.
- Trust: Being able to trust that this person is sincere and not false or deceptive.
- Respect: showing respect for yourself and other people.
- Affection: Being able to connect deeply emotionally and show affection.
- Loyalty: being able to remain true to you, in good times and bad.
- Shared values: sharing common interests, goals and values.
Of course physical attraction is important, no one can deny that, but you don’t want to know how attractive the right person can become once you get to know them better. Even if you didn’t find them attractive at all at first. Then keep the list you’ve made in mind when you want to evaluate someone as a suitable partner.
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2. Ask about intentions
It takes two people to have a relationship. If you want a steady partner and the other person doesn’t, it won’t be long before the relationship falls apart . So if you want to judge someone as a suitable partner, ask for their intentions. Ideally, you both have the same thoughts about the future and you start a beautiful romance together. But often it’s not that simple.
Sometimes people say they want one thing when they really want something else. They just aren’t ready to realize it yet. It’s hard to realize that the person you want as a partner doesn’t have the same goal. Some ways to ask about someone’s relationship intentions include:
- Do you have any specific relationship goals?
- How do you see the future?
- Are you looking for a serious relationship right now?
- What would you expect from a relationship if you were to start one now?
- What are your thoughts on getting married and starting a family?
- Do you like to have children ?
It is important to communicate about these things in a respectful way. Everyone wants different things and not everyone wants a committed relationship. Regardless of what the other person says, keep it respectful, but also be open and honest about your own intentions. Being clear about your expectations and goals can help you meet people who are looking for the same thing.
3. Talk about wishes and expectations earlier
In addition, you can also be proactive in communicating what you are looking for in a relationship with potential partners. For example, you can do this by talking about your expectations and desires earlier, and by asking questions about what they are looking for in a relationship. This can help determine whether you are on the same page and whether you are a good match. If it is not a match, then you have invested less time.
Of course, it is important to have these conversations in a respectful way. No quick judgments. This gives both of you the chance to express your wishes and expectations without either of you feeling attacked or rejected.
4. Be realistic
Another point that has to do with your requirements and desires is feasibility. Is it realistic to think that you will find someone who meets your requirements? Or could it help to be more flexible when it comes to your requirements. This can help to increase your options and help you find a match that really suits you – and at the same time does not completely meet your requirements.
Remember that no one is perfect. No one can fulfill all your needs. And that’s a good thing, because that would make dating very boring. So be realistic about what you can expect from a suitable partner.
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5. Open a dating app
Let’s face it: if you’re not using dating apps, you’re missing out. They make it easier to connect with other singles. Singles, many of whom are looking for a partner. You can chat with them, exchange photos, and arrange to meet in person. Handy, right?
Dating apps also offer various search functions that allow you to search for potential partners based on various criteria, such as age, distance, interests, and appearance. This of course makes it easier to find someone who matches your personal preferences. Our recommendations:
6. Actively search
It is rare that someone’s dream prince or dream woman shows up at their doorstep, ready to play the role of partner. Rarely is not even the right word, let’s just say never. That is why it is important to actively seek out potential partners, for example by going to social events, joining clubs or groups that interest you.
Look for potential candidates in places where you feel comfortable. Try to do activities that you enjoy and keep an eye out for people who might interest you. This way you can meet people who might be a suitable partner for you. Get out there, because that is the best way to find a match faster, besides being active on dating apps. Some other examples:
- Sports club
- Dance school
- Work
- Birthdays and parties
- Fitness center
- Family gatherings
- Workshops
- Training and courses
Also, put yourself in new social situations, because you never know where you’ll meet someone. The perfect match could be anywhere—even behind you in the checkout line or in the back of the bus on your commute to work. If you see someone you think you might click with, start with a simple “hello .” You’ll be surprised how easy it is to start a conversation with just a smile and a hello.
7. Improve your social skills
As with anything, practice can help you improve your social skills. Try new social situations and practice making conversation. Talk to random people on the street and try different things. Yes, it may take you out of your comfort zone. But the results are worth it. This way you can gain experience and improve your social skills.
When you are talking to someone, pay attention to what they are saying and show that you are interested by asking questions and making comments. This shows that you are engaged in the conversation and that you respect the other person.
If you have social anxiety or a general fear of dating , it can also help to seek professional help to learn how to deal with it. This could mean that you have low self-esteem or that you have difficulty accepting love and attention from others. In these cases, it can help tremendously to seek professional help, such as in the form of therapy or coaching.
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8. Don’t be afraid to reject
If you want to find a prince, you have to kiss a lot of frogs. At least, that’s the old saying. Finding a suitable partner is no different. If someone doesn’t suit you, don’t be afraid to say so and keep looking for someone who does. Rejection is part of the game called dating. To help you on your way, we have these tips for you.
Be clear and honest about your feelings
If someone does or says something that is not right for you or that you do not want to hear, be clear and honest about your feelings. This shows that you respect yourself and your needs.
Use ‘I’ statements
Instead of saying “you do this” or “you’re too,” use “I” statements to express how you feel. For example, “My gut tells me to” or “I’m not interested in.” This allows you to express your feelings without offending or criticizing the other person.
Don’t be afraid to say no
Sometimes it’s hard to say no, especially if you’re afraid of offending or hurting someone. But if someone asks you to do something you don’t want to do or says something you don’t want to hear, don’t be afraid to say no. It shows that you’ve set boundaries and respect them.
Thank the other person
If someone has spent time with you, even if it was just a quick date , thank them politely. For example, “Thanks for the date, but I still want to.” This shows that you appreciate the other person’s time and attention, even if the date itself was a failure.
Please provide a reason if you have one
If you have a reason, you can give that reason. For example: “I don’t want to continue dating because I” or “I want to leave it at this because I”. This shows that you have a good reason for the rejection, without offending the other person.
Finding a good match is not easy. It can be frustrating when you keep going on dates that are not successful. But despite the challenges, it is important to persevere and keep looking for someone who is right for you. It is not impossible. If you stay positive and work hard to find a good partner, you will eventually succeed.
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